What Our Elf On The Shelf Is Really Up To When We’re Not Home

This morning was a frenzy of activity…more than usual. After sleeping in, I ran around trying to get Ethan dressed and ready for preschool while also chasing the girls around begging/bribing them to get dressed instead of wearing their new pajamas (that they don’t want to take off) to drop Ethan off. So yes, there were dishes in the sink and breakfast dishes left on the table. But I wasn’t exactly expecting to find the mess that I came home to.

The couch had been torn apart. There were toys and clothes all over the floor. It looked like one of the old high school parties I used to go to back in the day.


Broken ornaments and candy canes littered the floor. The tree skirt looked like it had been taken off and put back on in a hurry. Who would want to take off the tree’s skirt?

Now if you have been reading my blog for any length of time, you know I would normally blame messes like this on the kids. Problem is, the kids were with me! I started cleaning up, and then I found this:


Yep, that’s our Elf on the Shelf, Fred. Drinking and smoking and carrying on. At 9 o’clock in the morning.

All I have to say is that if he’s the one responsible for letting Santa know if my kids are being good or bad, things could go either way this year as far as toys are concerned.

Maybe I’ll send Fred over to hang out with Poppy’s Elf. Although from what Poppy says, she’s getting tired of dicking around with Dick.

Want to see what Fred is up to in 2012? Like drinking wine out of a straw? Check out these Elf on the Shelf ideas!



  1. I am having a bad day. I am closing the laptop now, while I am still laughing from Fred's antics :) Thanks Natalie.
  2. Jim Beam huh? He doesn't fuck around.
  3. What a naughty naughty elf! This was hilarious, thanks for sharing. Molly W. recently posted..O' Christmas ornamentMy Profile
  4. That is the best elf pic ever! Jeans Y recently posted..Apologies For My AbsenseMy Profile
  5. HAHA That is awesome. Though second guessing getting one next year now if that is how they act ;) Nolie recently posted..Are parents the only ones setting a bad example?My Profile
  6. I would've wrecked the place if the only booze in the house had been JB! I mean, really! A house is not a home without Glenfiddich!!! Symdaddy recently posted..Four CandlesMy Profile
  7. This was absolutely hilarious. I am now thinking twice about welcoming one of those into my home any time soon! ;)
  8. It is so funny, anyway, just let us enjoy the great time. It is a naughty BB also a cute BB. Sophia recently posted..Forex Robots Are DangerousMy Profile
  9. Hands down, best elf picture ever! Evonne recently posted..Creamy Beef Stroganoff - recipeMy Profile
  10. Forget 'Bad Santa', it's now Bad Elf. LoL Cindi recently posted..A Christmas Story: The NyQuil BoxMy Profile
  11. Oh, I absolutely love this . . . although, your elf's behavior would lead me to believe that he might be easily bribed. Something tells me that the girls would be all about passing off a candy cane to the elf, if that meant that Santa wouldn't hear about a "who can scream louder" contest, after Mommy said that maybe it would be better to take a nap. John recently posted..Where I reveal my #mugswap partnerMy Profile
  12. What a boozer. My kind of guy. Kimberly recently posted..2011? HAMy Profile
  13. LOL!! OMGosh that's hilarious!!! At least he's having a good time! Crystal recently posted..Let's Talk About Sex Baby!My Profile
  14. LOL. I think Fred has a problem if he's drinking before 9 am ;) Amanda Austin recently posted..My Favorite Holiday MoviesMy Profile
  15. I just absolutely love this. I don't have anything clever to say. I just love it. Mrs. Jen B recently posted..Wellness Wednesday: Coping With ColitisMy Profile
  16. Oh Fred, you're making me not want to buy one of your brethren. Who knew that Elves were so naughty? Ashley recently posted..The Bowl CutMy Profile
  17. Forget the elf: We have the exact same sectional and the kids pull the cushions off every single day. This post has brought tears to my eyes knowing I am not alone in my couch-cushion struggle. Ali recently posted..WTF Wednesday - The "#Antler Up, Be Careful What You Wish For" EditionMy Profile
  18. This is hilarious! I think that maybe your elf is defective or something... better have Santa send a replacement! Jackie recently posted..Lessons Learned ~ ToddlerhoodMy Profile
  19. That is a bad bad elf - and I think your kids may want to start thinking of some uses for coal...lol
  20. I love that pick of him with the bottle of Jack! Barbara recently posted..36 weeksMy Profile
  21. SKSeriously you crack me up...that is Genius ...although Fred is obviously a lush...hope he finds his way back to the North Pole tonight...hee hee. Kir recently posted..Proud Mommy Moments: Stephanie, The Drama Mama is Sharing her StoryMy Profile
  22. Oh, BAD elf!
  23. When I originally left a comment I seem to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now whenever a comment is added I receive four emails with the exact same comment. Perhaps there is a means you are able to remove me from that service? Many thanks! phen375 recently posted..phen375My Profile


  1. [...] Ali’s submission! So I’m tweeting away when I notice a tweet from @NatalieHoage from Mommy of a Monster and Twins. Her elf, Fred, was a naughty, little boy. He held this huge party…a mean, a wild, crazy [...]
  2. [...] had a few really fun ones this month, including What Our Elf On The Shelf Is Really Up To When We’re Not Home and also White Trash Gift Ideas. And of course this post would be on my list because it’s all [...]
  3. [...] on the Shelf. Fred was quite the wild child when we weren’t around as you can see by my post What Our Elf On The Shelf Is Really Up To When We’re Not Home. His shenanigans are continuing this year, and it’s fun to see the kids’ excitement. [...]