Do you remember my old meme You Know You’re A Mom When-sDaze?
I really miss it sometimes. And in light of no naps, this isn’t going to be a touchy, feel good post swooning about the wonders of motherhood…on the contrary…this is a post about all the things that I’ve realized since becoming a mom…and most of them suck.
Keep in mind my kids are 4 and 2, so things will/ might hopefully will change as they get older…but that I know in my brain that they probably won’t, which is one reason why being a mom sometimes sucks.
You Know You’re A Mom When…
You realize that cleaning is a futile effort and a total waste of time
It’s not worth having nice things anymore because they always end up broken or lost
You have to hide treats that you don’t want to share, and can only eat them when the kids aren’t around
You come to the realization that you rarely are able to pee, poop, or change a tampon without an audience, and if you’re lucky enough to get the door closed to do it, you’ll have to listen to them bang on the door for however long it takes
You understand that a little boy’s penis will automatically aim at the walls/floors/toilet lid/anywhere but the bowl of the toilet when they pee. And on that note, your bathrooms will never be more disgusting
You begin to believe you speak a language that your children do not understand
You scream at your children in a way that you’ve never screamed at any other person (including your husband and other adults)
Little people who don’t even know their ABCs know exactly how to push every single button you have
There is such a thing as a 24/7 job, and for 20/6 of it, it’s an entirely thankless one
You know that you can’t force kids to eat or sleep no matter how hard you try
You’ve decided you are okay with the fact that sometimes it’s okay to let them eat candy for breakfast, and that sometimes you just don’t care if they eat or not
Locking them in their room to nap seems like an entirely rational decision
It’s pretty much impossible to keep kids out of your stuff, no matter where you hide it
Vacuuming does drown out the sounds of screaming
It’s okay to skip out of the preschool when you drop your kid off for a few hours
You really start to believe that your kids are smarter than you, and that you really are not in charge 95% of the time
You say “flush the toilet” almost as much as you say “shut the door”
Toddlers prefer to party nekkid. In fact, they prefer to do everything nekkid
Never in a million years would you think that you would have to force kids to keep their clothes on, remind them to put underwear on, and/or demand that they must wear underwear or a diaper to dinner. People that don’t have kids could never understand how often we have these conversations
You know that toddlers have to take off all of their clothes to use the toilet
Frustration doesn’t even begin to describe how you feel most evenings whatever time the witching hour at your house starts (here, it’s about 5 pm)
Let’s hear your favorite You Know You’re A Mom When…!