A Typical Phone Conversation

“Hello?”

“Hey Natalie, it’s Mom”

“Hi Mom! What’s up?”

“Oh nothing much. Hadn’t talked to you in a few days and was wondering how the kids are doing.”

“Well, I’m making breakfast right now so they’re whining to eat.”

“Do you want to call me back?”

“No, that’s alright. Nothing exciting going on here.”

“How are the kids feeling?”

“Well, I finally took them to the doctor on Wednesday, and he said…

Lila! Quit pulling Mia’s hair! Sorry Mom.”

“That’s okay. So what did the doctor say?”

“Oh yeah. On Wednesday I finally broke down and took them all to the doctor. He said…

Ethan, if I have to tell you one more time not to hit Mia, you get a time out. Sorry, Mom.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to call me back?”

“No, it’s okay. So anyways, the doctor said that the girls both have ear infections and sinus infections. Ethan has a sinus infection but his ears are fine. He gave me a prescription for…. Hold on a minute, Mom.”

“Okay.”

“ETHAN! GET IN YOUR ROOM! NOW! NO, I DON’T CARE IF YOU ARE SORRY I ALREADY TOLD YOU TO QUIT HITTING MIA. NOW! GO! DO NOT COME OUT UNTIL YOU ARE DONE CRYING!”

“Okay, I’m back. Sorry. So what was I telling you?”

“So he gave the kids… amoxicillin?”

“Oh yeah, he did. 10 days. Their attitudes have already improved and they’re all sleeping better.”

“Well that’s good. You and Jason didn’t get…”

“ETHAN! QUIT KICKING THE WALL!

“What? No we didn’t get sick, just the kids. How are you feeling? Is Dad still sick?”

“No, he’s feeling better. I went back to work today.”

“Oh, that’s good. Guess what! I got some good news yesterday and I meant to call you and tell you about it.”

“Well what is it?”

“I got an email saying that I…

Lila! Do not jump on Mia’s belly! How many times do I have to tell you?”

“Well? What’s your good news?”

“Hmmm? About what?”

“Well before you started yelling at the twins you said you had good news and then you started to tell me.”

“I did? I don’t remember. It must’ve not been that important.”

“Oh. I was looking forward to some good news.”

“Wait! Yeah, I remember. I got this email from…

ETHAN! I’M COMING UP THERE AND YOU ARE GETTING SPANKED! I TOLD YOU TO QUIT KICKING THE WALL!

“Mom, can I call you back later?”

“Sure. But I have to run to the store so don’t call me until….”

“Okay, thanks Mom. Bye.”

And so it goes…

I wrote this prompt for Red Writing Hood in response to the prompt: “Write a piece in which you use ONLY dialogue..”

Comments

  1. purseblogger says:
    LOL! That is so true. I feel like I can never have a decent phone conversation with the kids around. *sigh*
  2. Sounds about right... similar in my household except that my mom in the middle of talking stops and has side conversations ordering coffee or lunch. Attention deficit on both sides.
  3. Hysterical! I don't talk on the phone either because my conversations sound identical to yours. I even have my own Ethan (who is a twin) to yell at.
  4. And this is why I don't even try to talk on the phone when the kids are awake.

    Unless it's a telemarketer. Kids make those calls FUN!
  5. By Word of Mouth Musings says:
    Now if only this was not your life, and your children behaved like angels while you were on the phone ... now that would be a real fairytale ;)
  6. eerie...it's like you recorded one of MY phone calls when my kids are bouncing off the walls
  7. I loved this. I especially loved that you totally forgot your good news and after your mom asking if she should call you back multiple times, you finally say, Can I call you back?

    LMAO. Too funny!

    --The Drama Mama
  8. So true. Every word. Except my mother gets all hurt and then offended that I'm not focusing on HER.

    Sigh.
  9. Yep. Sounds about right. ;) When my girlfriends and I chat, we spend more time talking to our kids than talking to each other. And when my mom calls? I usually just give up and give the phone to the kids to fight over.
  10. And this is why I limit my phone calls to nap time and after 7:30 PM. Good job!
  11. Booyah's Momma says:
    I love this! And so true. It isn't a real phone conversation anymore without at least a timeout and a Dora episode playing in the background.
  12. Oh that so sounds like a typical convo with my mom and I! I STILL think there was something I needed to tell her earlier today!
  13. OMG! I seem to get enlightened on motherhood and the things that come along with it... Thanks for the cue
  14. Dominique says:
    Reading through your dialogue really reminds me of how similar it is to how I sound on the phone too with the kids running around the house and needing to be " instructed" at all times.
  15. Totally true. And it is killing my social life. I text and Twitter and FB because I can actually finish a sentence. I miss long phone calls.
  16. Spot on, Natalie! In fact??? I'm gonna send my mom a link to this post, she'll love it!
    ;-)

    this is my life. every day. like Nancy said, it's why i email/tweet/FB so much. Because it's the only way I can communicate decently!
  17. I think you might have been spying on us.... it makes me feel a little better we're not the only house that sounds insane! lol
  18. The Sharp's says:
    Sounds familiar! Now when the phone rings I grab it and run for the bathroom and lock myself in. Good to know other moms use the "go to your room until you are done crying" thing.
  19. Hey, were you eaves dropping in my house the other day? My mom normally just gives up and asks me to call her later...after the kid are in bed. LOL
  20. Bella @ If This is Motherhood says:
    LMAO! Gosh, sounds just like my house!
  21. I only have one and my phone conversations sound like that. I can't imagine throwing two more in the mix. No wonder we all prefer social media! :)
    I hope all your little ones feel better soon!
    (deleted last comment because I can't spell)
  22. This prompt looks like such fun! And - on a personal note - My twins are nine, and my singleton is six. Sadly, the phone conversations ton't get that much better. *sigh.*
  23. LOL.. this was hilarious!
  24. We moms TOTALLY live our lives in fragments, don't we?! :)
  25. Wow Natalie...you got this word for word! Happens all the time...but I still love talking to you!

    My conversations are now interrupted by Scooter and your Dad!
  26. Amen!! LOL I think I've had that same conversation with my mom! Great job!
  27. A conversation had by moms the world over. So true.
  28. Have you been eavesdropping in on my conversations with my mom? ;)
  29. Oh, that sounds just like my phone conversations :P, just add in a little dab of a child trying to rip the phone from my ear and you've got it lol.
  30. LOL Too funny!

    Sounds like when I make the mistake of calling my mom when my brother and sister are home. Except in this case, they're the ones who are constantly breaking in by talking to her about crap I don't care about regardless of whether or not she's on the phone with me (and they're 16 and 20, should really know better). I swear I don't understand how we were raised by the same parents! Finally I have to tell her to tell them to shut up.
  31. Megan (Best of Fates) says:
    What's the good news? Now I'm dying to know!!!
  32. HAHAHAH! I can't even remember when I have had a normal conversation on the phone. A few weeks ago, I got a call from Census Canada and they wanted to ask a few questions and I figured why not since I was only "relaxing" on the couch...
    That phone call? Took a half hour! I had to keep messing with my toddler...then my husband...then the toddler. I felt so bad for that guy on the other end of the line. But I bet they never call me back!
  33. Many a conversation went this way when mine were little! And friends who had kids before me would call me at WORK to chat and this is what I would hear!

    Made me think twice about having kids....great job with this prompt, Nat! I haven't got this one in me.
  34. That sounds like every conversation I've attempted to have with my mom in the last year. Sigh.
  35. From Tracie says:
    This is every conversation that I have with my mom.

    Reason to love internet communication #107 - no one can hear you yell at your kids when you are typing.
  36. moveovermarypoppins.com says:
    But what was the news?

    The news, woman!
  37. Soge shirts says:
    Wow I can totally picture this as you wrote it. Yes now I want to know what the good news was! Must be frustrating to not be able to have a decent phone convo once in a while. Great dialogue!
  38. Haha, just like my calls to my daughter. With her stopping to yell at the grandson.
  39. (Florida) Girl says:
    Gosh. I feel exhausted just reading this. God bless the mommies.

    Stopping by from trdc.
  40. The Twin Spin says:
    Hilarious! And all too familiar.
  41. ninabadzin.com says:
    Oh, Natalie! Too true! I suppose this is why I end up talking in the car so much. Everyone's strapped in.
  42. Sluiter Nation says:
    This is awesome. Because it is so damn true. I have this if the office at school calls down to my room for something and kids keep interrupting me or acting like fools. so my whole life is one big interruption.

    well played, you.
  43. Ericka @ Creative Liar says:
    I only have one and my conversations sound just like this! So very, very good Natalie. The fact that this read so smoothly and I was thinking "I've totally been there!" means you've captured characters we all can relate to. Love that!
  44. I cannot be on the phone while Maya is near me. She irritates the S!@# out of me with her constant questions and demands. She does it on purpose - she loves to see me have to be polite to her while I'm on the phone!!
  45. Jessica Anne says:
    So true. I swear they don't act like that until they see the phone.
  46. That sums up just about every phone conversation I have unless it is nap time or bedtime.

    *sigh*
  47. You probably don't need me to tell you how perfect this is. You nailed it! Great post.
  48. Awesome job, Natalie!
    This is why I rarely talk on the phone. I've had that same conversation about a million times.
    And how much do I love that I know what the email was about!? :)
    So excited!
  49. Well now I want to know the good news too, lol. Man the things I have to look forward to hahaha.
  50. Hilarious girl. I can only imagine with twins. lol. I have older kids and I'm not sure it ever gets better.
  51. LOL Sooooo true!

    This is why I HATE talking on the phone. Unfortunately, my mom gets offended when our conversations go like this. She thinks I'm doing it on purpose to avoid talking to you.
  52. to her, not you.

    Tired.
  53. Oh my gosh...I feel like that is every phone conversation I ever have!