Okay, okay…I know I’m not old, but I will admit that I’m starting to feel my age. All those things that old people talk about are starting to happen to me. I’m slowing down. I’m feeling things more. I ain’t what I used to be. The older I get, the better I was.
I used to be young, fun, hot (I can say that now because I look back at pictures and think that yes, I was hot, and why didn’t I know it back then?), and I think that I was more put together than I am now. Though I was also naive, lacked self confidence and self esteem, and didn’t know what I really wanted for myself or out of life.
I started listing out all these things in my head that I’m realizing are happening to me now that I’m getting older. Things that make me think the older I get the better I was. Like I’m missing out on being young with no responsibilities. Yeah, I don’t miss that at all (she says as she rolls her eyes.) But I really don’t miss being young. I do however miss physically feeling young.
So how many of you can relate to the list below?
You Know You Can Say “The Older I Get The Better I Was” When…
You look at yourself in the mirror and notice new lines and creases. Don’t forget sunspots and probably a zit here and there occasionally too. And what about the creases on your chest when you sleep on your side? Anybody else know what I’m talking about?
You start Googling terms like “perimenopause” because God knows you aren’t “old” enough to be going through menopause, but you feel like that is what might be happening. Is anybody else hot right now? Tired? PMSing worse than a teenager?
The decade in which you experienced your 20’s is now retro. You see your favorite outfit/hairstyle/song from back in the day being flaunted by high schoolers who don’t even realize that was “So 70’s/80’s/90’s.” Also? You catch yourself calling those people “kids.” Hell I have brothers that are in their late 20’s that I still call the boys.
You stand up and it sounds like fireworks going off. You are wondering how it’s possible that you can still walk on your legs after listening to your joints crack.
Going away for a girls weekend to Vegas doesn’t sound fun, it sounds like work. Plus we have come to realize we can no longer dance on bars anymore. If we tried to, we’d be “those old ladies” dancing on the bar. Sure we might be called a MILF by one or two, but chances are it will be old ladies. And everybody knows that’s just not cool. Not that we’d care, but still, I remember those old ladies…
Staying up till midnight happens maybe once a year. Maybe on New Year’s Eve if you’re invited to a party. Maybe.
The idea of a good time sounds like a book and a glass of wine. Need I say more?
You can no longer live on beer and crappy fast food like you did in college. Even if you do go out for a night of drinking, stay out past nine, and then decide to do that late-night fast food run, you regret it in the morning (or maybe even later that night.)
Scary movies, amusement park rides like the Tilt-a-Whirl, and spicy foods make you feel sick just thinking about them.
You recognize that you are no longer “hip.” Kids have to explain what they are saying/texting to you because you don’t get the lingo.
All night partying equals a week-long hangover.
You finally make the decision to let go of the size 28 jeans because you realize that no matter what you do, it is physically impossible to get back into them after having 3 kids (hip spreadage, anyone?)
The kids tell you that you’re old, and instead of being offended you nod in agreement.
You say things like “When I was a kid…” and think things like “When did I become my mother?”
You see a very attractive girl wearing something skimpy/sexy/tight/anything you can never wear again and instead of thinking “She looks hot!” and admit being jealous, you think “Well that can’t be comfortable” and know that you aren’t jealous in the least.
Of course with the bad, comes the good. I’m more self confident than I ever was when I was 20. I have self esteem! I know what I want, and I’m not afraid to ask for it. I don’t take shit like I used to. I’m a mom. I love my job. I really have nothing to legitimately complain about. I gotta say, life is pretty damn good. And I’m actually looking forward to turning 40 next year.
What things make you think “The older I get the better I was?”