Last year while I was writing at Chiquita Moms, I wrote about how some days I feel like a bad mom. It came about after I wrote here titled I AM SO TIRED OF YELLING, which of course led to my post about how to stop yelling at your kids. It resonated with a lot of moms out there, and I was glad to have shared it because clearly their are other moms out there that are in the same boat and feeling the same things. I was embarrassed to admit that I yell too much and that I feel like a bad mom a lot of days. But real moms also like to share with other moms about how they are feeling…it makes us feel a little better to know that sometimes those bad feelings about motherhood are actually normal feelings.
I know there are some other real moms out there that are having a crappy parenting day or week or month. Maybe something is happening in their life outside of being a mom that is making them feel like a bad mom. Well, I’m here to tell you this because you need to hear it: You are NOT a bad mom.
In my own heart and head, I know I’m not really a “bad mom”, but sometimes I feel like I am. I yell too much. I’m tired and my already short fuse is made even shorter. I don’t pay attention 24/7. My focus isn’t all.about.my.kids.all.the.time. Sometimes I give in and let them do whatever so that I can have a few minutes of peace and quiet.
Don’t freak out, but I’m going to admit what every mom has felt at least one time (I’ll also admit I’ve felt this way more than once): some days I don’t like being a mom. And just about every day they cry and I wonder: What am I doing wrong? Why can’t they just be good? Those feelings really have nothing to do with my kids or how much I love them. It’s just the stress and tiredness catching up with me; the daydreams about sitting on a beach enjoying the sun while sipping on a cocktail and reading a book. It’s about feeling like a failure because the kids don’t do what I tell them to do.
Being a mom is not an easy job – and we learn something about it and about ourselves every day. Some days we like the mom we see when we look in the mirror, other days we do not. That’s normal, too.
So To All of You Real Moms Out There…
What I’m trying to say is this: if you are a mom who happens to be having a bad day, or feeling lately like you are the worst mom in the world, give yourself some credit for what a fantastic you are doing overall. This mom gig is a hard job, and you are doing a great job. The bad things you are feeling or thinking today are totally normal…and if you read those posts I linked to on my own blog, you’ll see 50+ other moms who are all saying “I can relate” and “I feel the same way”. Feeling or thinking negatively sometimes doesn’t make you a bad mom…nobody likes their job all of the time. Some days it’s harder than others. This is all totally normal. You have beautiful children who think you are the best mom in the world – who wouldn’t trade you for anything because you are their everything (even if they say different!). When you start to feel like you’re a bad mom, it’s time to take 5 minutes just for you…have a cup of tea or sneak a treat just for yourself. Watch some junk television or read for a bit. Because YOU DESERVE IT. And also because you NEED it. Do you ever feel like a bad mom?
How do you pick yourself up when you feel this way?