Monster Mommy Moment – Tonya Style

Today, I am so excited to have a real life friend here: Tonya from Letters for Lucas, who is sharing a Monster Mommy Moment with us!
No idea what a Monster Mommy Moment is? You can read all about how my new weekly feature came to be here.
I’ve known Tonya for many years, and she and I have always just “clicked”. While we’ve fell in and out of touch over the years, she’s always been my friend – I even wrote a guest post at her place about our friendship! Tonya is honest, caring, an incredible writer, and she even was the person who helped me make the decision to start blogging.

So grab a cup of coffee and a donut, ahem, I mean a low-fat muffin, or depending on the time of the day maybe some wine and chocolate, and sit back and enjoy Tonya’s Monster Mommy Moment!

In 21 short months, I am guilty of so many mom fails and Monster Mommy Moments it isn’t even funny!

As soon as Natalie created this weekly feature I offered to share my shame. That was back in early January, people and there has been a waiting list!

I am so relieved to know I’m not alone.

Without further adieu, here I go on my walk of shame. Please take my hand.

I am guilty of letting my poor baby boy:

• Fall down several stairs once.

• Fall off his changing table once.

• Fall off my bed once.

• Fall out of his crib once.

• Bump into doors, windows, coffee tables and trees.

• Sit in a wet diaper for far too long.

• Watch too much television.

• Cry it out.

The list gets longer AND worse…

I am also ashamed to admit I:

• Grabbed him hard enough to leave a mark.

• Left him unattended in the car while I ran into pick up dry cleaning, a sandwich and pay for gas (three separate occasions and he was sound asleep each time).

• Stepped on his foot.

• Dropped him.

• Text, Tweet or read blogs when I should be playing with him.

• Lost him at the park (for just a couple of minutes). See above.

• Stopped using the baby monitor more than 10 months ago because the reception in our house stinks!

• Dug out the baby monitor so that my husband and I could continue partying with our next door neighbors while Lucas slept at home (the monitor worked great at their house!).

• Almost left the house without him.

• Didn’t pack enough diapers OR formula for an 18 hour flight to Australia.

• Subjected him to Justin Beiber’s song Baby and he liked it! This is hands down the stupidest thing I’ve done to date.

• Hit my car radio power button so hard once it broke when Lucas refused to stop whining from the back seat.


I’m an idiot mom and not proud of these things, but they happened.

Motherhood is tough, especially when you’re a stay-at-home-mom and spend close to 65 hours alone with your child. In most of the above cases, I will say that I learned very valuable lessons and also realize that I should be thanking my lucky stars. Someone, somewhere is looking over me. And Lucas.

No one but Lucas has seen me at my absolute worst; my wits end and ready to throw in the towel. I refuse to hit him, but he has certainly heard me yell at the top of my lungs. He has seen me lose my temper, throw things and break down in tears. He usually wins our battles of will and grace because I give in. I live with mommy guilt every day because of something I did or didn’t do, corner I’ve cut, outburst I’ve had or some other Monster Mommy Moment I’ve had.

Hopefully nothing I’ve done or let happen to my son (or will do) is too irreparable, unforgivable, or have lasting effects.

On second thought, poor Lucas, something tells me he is going to need a lot of therapy someday!

And now you see why I love my friend Tonya. Honest, relatable, and willing to share some pretty personal experiences…and admit it, you’ve done a few of them yourself!

Thank you Tonya, for reminding us that we are all sharing the same experiences and that we’re all in this together and that we can learn from each other’s mistakes experiences.

Now go swing by Letters for Lucas and say hello to Tonya, and if you’re new there make sure to tell her that I sent you. I know you’ll really enjoy her blog!

I’m also guest posting today over at By Word of Mouth Musings…thanks to Nicole for asking me over to visit!

And so it goes…


  1. Mommy Needs a Vacation says:
    My kids too have seen me at my worst. I think we all have many monster mommy moments. Thanks for makes me feel so not alone!
  2. The Twin Spin says:
    I cannot tell you how many of those I nodded along with. You are totally normal and I love your honesty!
  3. ag.gray.gate says:
    L to the O -V - E this post. Thank is nice not to be alone :)
  4. I have done some of the things on your list as well. It is tough to be a SAHM sometimes and we try to do the best we can but sometimes we make mistakes and we have monster moments. It doesn't make us bad parents, it just makes us human. Thank you for your honesty and not pretending to be one of those moms that is perfect.
  5. Thanks for letting the rest of us feel not so alone during our worst moments!
  6. Jessica says:
    Oh my kids have seen me at my worst too. I was hoping to put an end to it before they could talk or mimic but so much for that. Thanks for reminding me that I'm normal.
  7. MommaKiss says:
    Nodding my head here. I've done so many of those thing. Thing is, lady. You're not an idiot mom. You're a mom. It ain't easy. Solidarity, friend!
  8. The Empress says:
    Let's stick together.

    Down with the ones who say "they're perfect."

    I like it better in the real world...
  9. I don't think I knew you two were IRL friends, how cool!

    And I'm totally guilty of pretty much all of these things!
  10. I have so been there. It's tough being a mom! Great post!
  11. gopopgo says:
    I love Tonya, and this was brutally honest. The only "perfect" parents I've met are people in denial.
  12. Hello! I'm Kate. says:
    I feel ya on that! Last fall my husband was working 60 hours a week & a full time grad student. It was exhausting!

    Great post from Tonya!
  13. I'm guilty of each & every item on the list...none of them are "bad mommy" items. I mean, fuck, tweeting instead of playing? I see that as "sanity maintenance," and should be encouraged - it develops character and a sense of independence. ;-)
  14. Not Just Another Jennifer says:
    Great post, Tonya! I am guilty of pretty much everything on your list (and more). :)
  15. Oh, Tonya. Let the TV guilt go. I think we're pretty much all doing that one.

    And the yelling.

    And the tumbles.

    And...well, look, none of us is perfect. We're pretty much all doing these things.
  16. MamaRobinJ says:
    Yep. Yep, yep, yep. Funny, I haven't "known" you that long, Tonya, but I totally picture you as someone who has it all together. And of course you do - and don't. We all do well and we all have moments like these.

    Thank you for sharing this. I had a rough weekend and this makes me feel better.
  17. Loved the honesty!! Pretty sure most (if not all) moms have had those moments. I can say I have!! Good to know I'm not alone or crazy!
  18. Mommy Nani Booboo says:
    ME TOO- on so many of those!
    Perhaps what we're all most guilty of, though- is the slathering on of mommy guilt.
  19. SO many of these are totally understandable and things that either I have done or have other mom friends who have. Don't be so hard on yourself, Tonya! It ain't easy being a mom!
  20. The tumbling? That is called "expanding their motor development"

    Tweeting? is called "allowing sufficient time for a child to explore independent play"

    The yelling? is called "vocal exercises designed to model appropriate tension release"

    And the Justin Bieber? Well that is just plain inexcusable. FOR SHAME TONYA!
  21. Natalie says:
    I love Tonya!!

    We've all done many mommy fails. I'm guilty of yelling, using the tv as a babysitter & a variety of other sins. Once, when carrying one of the boys to bed when they were small, I whacked their head into the door frame. They're such deep sleepers, they never even woke up.
  22. Ostriches Look Funny says:
    Well, confession is good for the soul, but the Justin Bieber thing??? That's crossing a line!
    Parenting is hard. HARD. I think you're doing great.
  23. Yeah you're bad.
    I think I did every one of those myself.
  24. Michelle Pixie says:
    Tonya is brave! My Monster Mommy Moment list would be so long I'd be the one needing therapy after reading it. It is nice to know we aren't alone in these moments!
  25. @Mommy Needs a Vacation

    Glad to know we are all in this together!
  26. @The Empress

    I am ANYTHING but perfect!! Thanks for your comments.
  27. @Michelle Pixie

    Brave? I don't know about that. Honest, real and full of flaws... ABSOLUTELY!!
  28. @Shell

    Oh yes, Nat and I go WAY back.... you could say, we knew each other when. :)
  29. @gopopgo

    Just like Lay's, right?! Glad to know dad fails too.
  30. @Yuliya

    The Justin Beiber is the worst!! Trust me, I am hanging my head in shame.
  31. Thank you, everyone for making a crap mom feel a whole lot better about herself. I am so glad to know that I'm NOT the only one that has exercised questionable mom skills.

    And thank you for the outlet, Natalie! I had a lot of fun writing this post, but will be thrilled not to be in the hot seat this time next week. :)
  32. @Mommy Nani Booboo

    The mom guilt is the worst!! Lucas will never remember any of this, but I will and now it's out in the open. :(
  33. @MamaRobinJ

    Bless you! I certainly like to think I have it all together most of the time, but this is proof that I most certainly do NOT.
  34. @John

    Sanity maintenance... I love that! Thank you.
  35. Sluiter Nation says:
    Oh Tonya...i love you.

    really, really.
  36. Ordinary Dad says:
    Might as well say this post was written by me. Thanks for the honesty! I'm sure your kid will turn out just fine!
  37. Soge shirts says:
    All those are forgivable except for subjecting him to Justin Bieber. Haha jk Tonya great post and you are a terrific mom.
  38. Ok maybe I'm your sister so saying this might not mean as much but Tonya, you are FAR too hard on yourself! While I may not be a mother now, I still know that being a mother is a learning process and as long as your child has food to eat, water to drink, clothes on their back, a roof over their head and they know that they are unconditionally loved, then you are doing an amazing job. Enough said! : )
  39. Oh Tonya, this is great! You are a "normal" mom, since we've all done at least 10 of these things!

    And Lucas? Is turning out beautifully. And so's his mommy.
  40. @Sherri

    Which 10?!

    Thanks, Sherri. xoxo
  41. @Leah

    Thanks, Leah!

    Your check is in the mail. xoxo