Monster Mommy Moment – Scary Mommy Style

I am beyond excited today, because Jill from SCARY MOMMY is here sharing a Monster Mommy Moment with us!

No idea what a Monster Mommy Moment is? You can read all about how my weekly feature came to be here.

Jill and I chat occasionally on Twitter, and I was lucky enough to guest post at her place with one of my favorite posts about being a mom of 3 really young kids titled Just Doing It (if you didn’t read it, you should…it’s pretty funny!). Jill is an extremely talented and successful writer and blogger, and when I asked her if she would guest post and she said yes, I was shocked and very grateful!

The post she’s sharing was originally published on her site last year, but she thought it fit the bill so well she asked if she could use it here too. And it is a perfect Monster Mommy Moment as you’ll see.

So grab a cup of coffee and a donut, ahem, I mean a low-fat muffin, or depending on the time of the day maybe some wine and chocolate, and sit back and enjoy Jill’s Monster Mommy Moment!

———-
I Yelled At My Son

I just yelled at my son.

I yelled at him in a way meant to scare him, meant to shake him to the core.

I yelled at him in a way that I only recall being yelled at once– it was that unforgettable.

I yelled at him out of frustration and anger and pure desperation.

I yelled in a way that if I witnessed it as an outsider, I would be unable not to judge– what kind of mother yells at her offspring like that?

I yelled in a way that I never want to again.

Because, now, he is drifting to sleep and the thought of my voice echoing in his head is tearing me apart.

And I wonder what kind of mother I am, to yell like that at the child I love with all of my being.

Tonight, it wasn’t the one I want to be.

———-

Jill, unfortunately we’ve all been there. But knowing that we aren’t alone or the only moms to ever do something like this is exactly why we share our Monster Mommy Moments.

And now you all see why I I’m such a fan of Jill’s. She’s honest, and not afraid to share thoughts and feelings that some parents are too embarrassed or ashamed to admit. She’s not afraid to put herself out there in a less-than-perfect light – and that’s why I am so glad that she has shared one of her Monster Mommy Moments with us.

Thank you Jill, for reminding us that we are all sharing the same experiences and that we’re all in this together and that we can learn from each other’s mistakes experiences.

Now go swing by SCARY MOMMY and say hello to Jill, and if you’re new there make sure to tell her that I sent you. I know you’ll really enjoy her blog!

Comments

  1. ive done that too . And not just once. Not proud of that

  2. This reminds me of a not-so-stellar parenting moment when my son was 11 years old (he’s 28 now with a family of his own). He and I were fishing, and I went off on him like you wouldn’t believe over something I don’t even remember anymore. What I do remember is the stream of tears down his face and the look of disappointment in his eyes. To this day, when I think about it, I’m ashamed.

    Not that it makes you feel any better, but know that it happens to the best of us. Take it from the voice of experience…..hug your child, tell him you love him with a big smile, and he will forgive you.

  3. I have yelled at my children this way many times. Not my best moments as a mom.

  4. I have done this. A few too many times, on days when my son has been in full button pushing mode.

    Today, daddy received a taste of it, as everything spoken in a “normal” voice was ignored or disobeyed.

    Those moments, I’m not proud of.

    The guilt won’t let me forget either.

    It’s nice to hear we’re only human.

  5. I can totally relate to this post, I know that yell very, very well.

    *sigh*

  6. Oh, I’ve so been in that place. When everyone, all at once, is causing total chaos and the screaming and yelling and breaking things hasn’t stopped after several (mostly) nice requests to PLEASE just knock it off.

    In the moment, it feels like the only way to get their attention long enough to really be heard… but afterwards? Afterwards, the guilt is just horrible. And, yet, it still happens more often than I care to admit. =(

  7. Oh Jill, I yell a lot. I come from a LOOOOOOONG line of yellers and as much work as I have done (therapy) to make sure I don’t continue a cycle, I have kept the screaming. I hate when Jacob will say things to me like “mommy you don’t get to yell at me” , because I feel like less of a human being , let alone a good mom.
    We all have those moments, I think the imp thing is to see them as “moments I don’t want to repeat” and work on not doing it. Sometimes it’s just too much and there is no shame in that, you are an EXCELLENT mom..never every forget that. xo

  8. EVERY mom has done it, but sooooo few moms will admit it. You are that much more awesome for admitting it, Jill.

  9. My mom was a huge yeller and I vowed I would never yell at my kids like she did. Yet, here I am…a total yeller. In fact, I yell so often my kids don’t even HEAR me anymore unless I use a quiet voice. How’s that for irony?

    Thanks to Jill for sharing her Monster Mommy Moment. It is comforting to know others have been there as well.

  10. I remember reading this post! I think we’ve all been there.

    BTW…love your new look!

  11. I unfortunately know that feeling. And I hate it. I need a tivo to redo these moments.

  12. I remember reading this post on her site- and ummmm…yeah… I have SO yelled at my kids, like a lot!

  13. OK…sorry I suck and have been AWOL lately. And I know I’m probably pretty late on this…love the new design. Anywho, with the stress of this freakin’ deployment and the whole “government shutdown” and not knowing if hubby still has a job…I’ve freaked out on my kids and I have some SERIOUS mommy guilt about it!! Ugh… I suck lately! SO I totally get it…

  14. I have so been there. Right after I did it I couldn’t believe I was even brought to that point. The guilt! I recently learned a lesson to not make one fail define me as a mom. We teach our kids to try harder next time and to right the wrongs, we need to hold to that as well.

  15. Coolwhipmom says:

    I love Jill! In fact I’m featuring her in an interview soon at SheKnows. I love her honesty. It is great when we moms are honest about these less than picture perfect moments in motherhood. Because we all have them. And they are not easy to talk about. But it definitely makes us feel less alone when we realize that we all feel this way and lose control sometimes. Nat and Jill, thanks for sharing!!

  16. I have SO been there, but when I think I have yelled at my son so loud that the windows shake and he should freeze in fear, he laughs at me. Little fucker.

  17. I have always loved Jill’s honesty.

  18. i remember reading this on her blog. i have that yell in me sometimes…and it has come out maybe twice.

    i hate it. hate that i do that to my little man.

    sigh…