I swear that if I didn’t know better, I would think that today’s guest feature might just be my long-lost twin sister! Nichole from in these small moments is someone that I connected with immediately, and as I’ve gotten to know her better, she’s become someone that I’m very close to and consider an incredible friend. So please help me welcome Nichole to share a Monster Mommy Moment with us!
No idea what a Monster Mommy Moment is? You can read all about how my weekly feature came to be here.
Nichole and I have so much in common it’s actually scary…well, not ‘scary’ scary, but interesting scary. She’s more than a friend, she’s also my writing
God mentor, and is one of the hosts of the red dress club…where I first got my feet wet in fiction and instantly fell in love with writing.
I was even lucky enough to guest post at her place for Small Moments Monday back in October. It’s one of my favorite pieces that I’ve ever wrote, and was proud to share it there.
But more than all of that, Nichole is one of the most supporting, kindest, and strongest women I’ve ever met. She’s beautiful inside and out, and I’m honored to be a part of her life. And? It’s Nichole’s birthday today…HAPPY BIRTHDAY my friend!
So grab a cup of coffee and a donut, ahem, I mean a low-fat muffin, or depending on the time of the day maybe some wine and chocolate, and sit back and enjoy Nichole’s Monster Mommy Moment!
Little Nutbrown Hare, who was going to bed, held on tight to Big Nutbrown Hare’s very long ears. He wanted to be sure that Big Nutbrown Hare was listening.
Katie’s whispered words carried through the baby monitor.
Another day with no nap. With each day that brings us closer to her fourth birthday, naps are becoming more elusive.
So, we have told her that if she isn’t tired, she may get out of bed, select some books from the stack that we have placed by her bed, and get back in bed under the covers. We have reminded her that while we encourage her to nap, if she just can’t sleep, this is her other option.
“Guess how much I love you?”
Katie’s baby brother, Matthew, is an incredibly light sleeper, so it always worries me when she makes any noise at all, as their rooms share a common wall.
Naptime is just so precious. I need naptime as much as they do.
“I love you as high as I can reach…”
One of my biggest weaknesses as a mother is my reluctance to let my children grow up, to take on more independence. To trust in their abilities.
“I love you all the way up to my toes!”
As I went to greet her, I planned to congratulate her on doing such a great job of following directions, for reading quietly and not waking her brother. I planned to sit by her on her bed and snuggle her for a bit.
When I opened the door, there she sat. On the floor. With her pile of pink blankies spread perfectly across her legs, her stuffed white kitties by her side, Guess How Much I Love You on her lap.
Not in her bed.
He wanted to be sure that Big Nutbrown Hare was listening. “Guess how much I love you,” he said.
Her proud smile was met by my frown and hushed words of disappointment.
And then her face crumpled.
“I love you as high as I can hop!”
She had been so proud of herself…she had been quiet, read books, and hadn’t woken her brother.
In my haste, I lost sight of the bigger picture. I lost sight of the fact that she had done a great job. Why did it matter to me that she was on the floor instead of in her bed?
“I love you across the river and over the hills,” said Big Nutbrown Hare.
Sometimes, I am so rigid in my expectations that I forget that I want my relationship with her to be malleable and open, strong and comforting.
I saw myself through her eyes. Frowning, stern.
And my heart broke.
“I love you right up to the moon…”
I sat down beside her, gathered her up, and apologized.
I apologized for failing to see just what a great job she had done…what a big girl she is becoming.
I apologized for not truly seeing her.
It is in those moments, when I lose sight of the wonder of who she is, that I’m least proud of this job that I’m doing as her mother.
It is in these moments that I am reminded that I need to stop to listen more…to take the time to encourage her to grow.
As much I as I would prefer to fight it.
…and whispered with a smile, “I love you right up to the moon—and back.”
I know that as a mother, I do this so much more than I care to admit…focus on what my kids are doing wrong instead of what they’re doing right. Little things don’t matter – it’s something that I repeat to myself a lot! Thanks Nichole, for sharing your Monster Mommy Moment with us. Knowing that we aren’t alone or the only moms to ever do something like this is exactly why we share them.
And now you all see why I I’m such a fan of Nichole’s. She’s honest, and not afraid to experiences that some parents are too embarrassed or ashamed to admit to. She’s not afraid to put herself out there in a less-than-perfect light – and that’s why I am so glad that she has shared one of her Monster Mommy Moments with us.
Thank you my friend, for reminding us that we are all sharing the same experiences, that we’re all in this together and that we can learn from each other’s mistakes experiences.
Now go swing by in these small moments and say hello to Nichole, and if you’re new there make sure to tell her that I sent you. I know you’ll really enjoy her blog!