Monster Mommy Moment – MommaKiss Style

 MommyofaMonster
Today, one of my bestest blogging friends, MommaKiss is here to share a Monster Mommy Moment with us!

No idea what a Monster Mommy Moment is? You can read all about how my new weekly feature came to be here.

MommKiss is someone that I hope to meet IRL someday. We are two peas in a pod, they you might not guess it since our writing styles are so different. But our sense of humor, hobbies, outlooks…all the same. She blogs anonymously (meaning family and friends don’t know that she blogs), is extremely honest, sassy, hilarious, doesn’t hold back, and even though she presents a hard outer shell, she is a big softie on the inside. I am a better person for knowing her.

So grab a cup of coffee and a donut, ahem, I mean a low-fat muffin, or depending on the time of the day maybe some wine and chocolate, and sit back and enjoy Shell’s Monster Mommy Moment!

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My Monster Fail

I’m so excited to be sharing my Monster Fail. Know why? When we share our low points, it lets others know that they’re not alone. It’s ok to screw up once in a while. It’s ok to not be perfect (snort, who is??). Being a parent is the hardest job on the planet, and we all need to cut ourselves some slack once in a while. Me included. So you know. Not to mention, Natalie knew I’d jump right on this feature. I’m pretty honest and open about the crap I’ve failed at – mostly at being a Mom.

I’ve forgotten to pick up milk, so I have used coffee creamer for their cereal. I’ve forgotten to pack a lunch, so I quick ran to the Dunkin drive-thru for a bagel and banana and brought that for my 3 year old’s lunch. I’ve been so depressed I want to sleep for days. I’ve been so busy, I don’t see my kids for a week’s worth of bedtimes. I’ve been there and done that. Almost all of it. Today, I thought I’d share a Monster Moment that I don’t think I’ve written about before, and I’m keeping it light. Well, I can look back and laugh now…

When I had my first kid in June of 2005, I felt very alone. I had my husband and friends. My in-laws came to visit, but I had no other family around to help. Mostly I missed my momma. I wanted her to hold me when I needed to be coddled and told that everything would be OK. I wished and prayed for her to be with me, but miles and dollars prevented the visit. My brother’s wife had a baby exactly one week after my son was born, so they planned a little family reunion of sorts for their son’s baptism. We were asked to come as a sponsor to my nephew. This was in July. Our son would be 8 weeks old. Flying cross country. Oh crap. Ok. We can do this. I need to see family, I need to see my momma. How hard would it be to fly with an infant? I mean, they’re so portable at that age.

The flight started off OK, but our layover kept getting more and more delayed. Turns out we wouldn’t be starting the second leg of the trip until about 10pm and arriving at 2am our time. We. Were. Tired. When it was time to get buckled, I got a scolding from the attendant, telling me I couldn’t keep the baby in the bjorn during take-off. To this day, I don’t see the logic there, but we were all exhausted and the kid was sleeping anyway. This was the sitting scene – it’s important: My husband had the window, me in the middle [+ infant] and a middle aged woman was on the aisle.

Apparently I forgot to hook the kid back in the bjorn before falling asleep, because all of a sudden, we hit some turbulence, my infant son rolled out of my arms (or simply off of my lap?), rolled UNDER the seats in front of me and was on the floor. Halfway into the aisle. I was startled awake by the thud and immediately went to pick him up, but remember, I was in the middle. So I whacked my head on the seat in front of me. Couldn’t move. I elbowed my husband awake, and then we bonked heads trying to get the baby from under the seats in front of us.

Wasn’t gonna happen. So that lovely middle aged woman on the aisle? She reached down, picked up my 8 week old baby from the floor, handed him to me and said “happens all the time, dear.”
Just like in Pretty Woman. When she’s flinging snails across the fancy restaurant.

Mortifying.

We were in Montana for 3 days before I told anyone what happened, at which point it spread like wildfire. I was a new mom and my newborn was rolling around the floor of an airplane because I fell asleep. My family found it hilarious.

In the end, my child wasn’t hurt. Doesn’t make it OK, but “it happens.” Apparently. And my kid today? Only partially crosseyed – but I’m sure they’re not at all related.

———-

And now you see why I adore MommaKiss. I actually spit water out (or wine…it was probably wine) when I read this! Thank you my friend, for reminding us that we are all sharing the same experiences even though I can honestly say this one’s never happened to me! – and that we’re all in this together.

Now go swing by MommaKiss and say hello to her, and if you’re new there make sure to tell her that I sent you. I know you’ll really enjoy her blog!

And so it goes…

Psst! I’ve got a guest post Monday over at Business 2 Blogger – it’s about blog scraping, and if you don’t know what it is, you MUST READ the post!

Comments

  1. Found you on BlogFrog! Will you follow back? http://www.toeuropewithkids.com.

  2. Oh, how I love MommaKiss! And this post? I just laughed out loud so hard that I woke my husband up!

  3. As an infant, I was dropped down a toilet!

    There was no serious damaged caused by the actual fall … on the outside … what caused my injuries was the toilet brush trying to push me around the U-bend!

    My arse still bristles!

    Happy Valentines Day ladies … now get up against that wall while I get my 'violin' out!

  4. I've never flown with my kids but accidents do happen and my kids have been victims to many accidents. Thanks for sharing your story.

  5. Thanks for letting me spill my guts here, girlfriend. Love you long time.

  6. I am dying of laughter; comparing it to the lady in Pretty Woman is perfect. I am thinking about that happening in those tiny airport seats, and it's a comedy of errors just waiting to happen.

  7. This was so so funny! Love MommaKiss.

  8. Mama Jules says:

    Thank goodness no one is home to hear me explain why I spit my coffee all over the screen! Stuff like this is why I'm afraid to fly with my kids! That and my son is nuts!

  9. Very funny! It's something you'd see on TV sitcom funny!
    We've all had Mom Fail Moments!! Some of us more than others!

  10. Aw, Momma, how I adore you. And that woman sitting next to you was awesome. This is going to have me giggling for the rest of the day. Thank you, thank you!!

  11. Happens all the time dear.

    I want to be that middle-aged woman when I grow up.

  12. The mad woman behind the blog says:

    MK, my blogsbian lover, I love you even more.
    I did a similar thing w/ a breast feeding pillow …infant rolled off when I stood up and fell 2 feet to an ottoman. Didn't tell the husband that one for over a week.

  13. Oh MK, you know the crossed eyes is genetic! Love this story and the way you tell it…much safer in the Bjorn! Too funny.

  14. Ms.Wasteland says:

    That's so funny but I'm sure you were mortified!

    When my son was 6 months old we had to take him on a family vacay. My husband and I were standing right in front of the bed he was lying on arguing. The baby rolled off the bed onto a hardwood floor right in front of us.

  15. Oh no, Momma K! But really, I can completely see how that happened.

    All that matters is he was OK!

  16. The Empress says:

    I still say you rock this gig.

    Am I the only one that sees that?

  17. Kristin @ Peace, Love and Muesli says:

    That's my favorite line in Pretty Woman. That's not true, I like them all.

    We've all been there friend. Babies fall, there's nothing for it. Their parents are too tired.

  18. Sluiter Nation says:

    I love me some mommakiss for this EXACT reason: she dropped her 8 week old child and it's not that big of a deal.

    she is awesome.

    I love that she doesn't take things too seriously.

    plus? she is awesome.

    wait…did I already say that? well it's true.

  19. That is a great story! Oh, those first few weeks when we're so exhausted – and traveling too? Poor MommaKiss. I probably wouldn't have even woken up, I remember being that tired.

  20. Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points says:

    Oh geez…"Happens all the time."

    Well, Child A once scooched himself under the front seat of the car when we were van-camping. He was a baby, and had been sleeping in between me and his dad. Then in the middle of night I heard unhappy baby sounds and COULD NOT FIND HIM.

    He was fine. He'd wiggled up and gotten himself blocked under one of the front seats.

    But…PANIC! plus HOW THE HELL CAN I LOSE A BABY IN A CLOSED CAR???

    Cause I'm just THAT sort of brilliant. THAT'S why.

  21. the mombshell says:

    I'm still in awe that you were brave enough to fly with an infant, of course you were punished for your blatant disregard to the mothering gods. Its like going out without a diaper bag, your just asking for a diaper blow-out on the day you actually decide to wear light coloured pants.

  22. the mombshell says:

    Actually just choosing to wear light coloured pants in asking for it too.

  23. I love it. Not that the baby was rollin' under the seats, but that you're a real enough person to tell the story.

    And that is why I'm proud to call you friend :)

  24. Ha! Hahahaha! I'm loving everyone else's story! Nights full of laughter, that's what this is.

    Big.

    Huge!

  25. Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds says:

    I love that she said that. Who are we to say? Maybe it does happen all the time.

  26. Love, Momma Kiss and I love you. :)

    Sorry, this day just makes me all sappy. 😉

  27. Oh Gawd…I vow to be that middle aged woman who always says the right thing to a frazzled mom…we all need that every now and then!

  28. People falling down? Always funny.

    Babies falling off laps and under plane seats? Fu**ing HYSTERICAL.

    I ever tell ya the one about losing my Deaf kid in Kohls? yeah. after I punished him for throwing his hearing aids at me by NOT GIVING THEM BACK. So. I couldn't call for him. yeah. I was proud.

  29. Chickens Consigliere says:

    I'm at work trying not to laugh out loud at the visual…And that woman on the aisle! Love her. Exept for some reason I see her as Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire. And Tulpen. You crack me up.

  30. Oh, good one. I can't believe you admitted to it. I would have probably kept it to myself.

    Nah, I would have told the story too. Too funny!

  31. This was so, so, so funny!! I am so glad you shared it. I will think about it all the time!

  32. Miel Abeille says:

    Oh, my! Adventures in mommyhood are freakin' hilarious!

  33. Oh, that's hysterical! But I can totally picture it….and I'm sure it DOES happen all the time!

    Love, love Mommakiss!

  34. Laughing and crying (sorry, pregnant and hormonal). So funny, but my favorite part was the middle aged lady. Thank God for her. I had one of those moments a few months ago when I was in an airport with my 2 year old freaking out in her stroller, while I was trying to check in at one of those f**cking kiosks. This woman just looked at me and said “You’re doing a great job.” I will never forget it. Like Rebecca, I vow to be that woman one day.

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