Monster Mommy Moment – Kirsten Style

 MommyofaMonster

I am excited to have one of my favorite tweeters and readers sharing a Monster Mommy Moment with us…Kirsten from The Kir Corner!

Kirsten is honest, funny, down to earth, a wife and mom to twin boys. I think we were automatic friends because she understands my pain! I love her sense of humor, her genuineness, and if (when) we meet IRL, I know we will hit it off immediately.

So please help me welcome Kirsten so she can share her Monster Mommy Moment with us.

If you’re not sure what a Monster Mommy Moment is, you can read all about how my weekly feature came to be here.

Go grab a cup of coffee and a donut, ahem, I mean a low-fat muffin, or depending on the time of the day maybe some wine and chocolate, and sit back and enjoy the story!

———-

Ever since Natalie started doing Monster Mommy Moments, I’ve been quietly cataloging a list of them in my life.

The list is LONG my friends.

The times I’ve neglected, yelled too quickly or often, lost my temper and spanked (Yep I do it) or choosing my Evo Shift over them. All of these objectionable actions leave me guilt ridden and sad because I waited a long time, pushed through the hell that is infertility and In Vitro to bring home the sons that would complete my family.

You would think that I would be more grateful or patient or selfless, it turns out that even all that couldn’t save me from Monster Mommy Moments.

Six months after I went on bed rest and three months after my sons were born, I put a skirt and heels back on and walked back into the workforce. Sure some of it was financial, “me working” was a “smart decision” for our family financially but I bigger part of it was that I wasn’t cut from a cloth that espoused a stay at home status. I liked being needed, I liked working, and I knew my limitations with myself.

I commute and work with my husband, this gave me more time with him every day, and daycare was giving my sons, every single day, everything they needed to become social, to develop and thrive. Sure, I missed them, but I found such joy in picking them up each day, walking in to new milestones being hit alongside gummy smiles.

A true and perfect compromise for all of us, right?

So they grew, went from babies, to toddlers, to now, wow, preschoolers.

3 year old twins

Tantrums

Opinions

They fight our authority and make their own conditions, which change from one moment to the next.

Which, finally, gets to my Monster Mommy Moment, that happens, *ahem* every day.

I think I’ve established that I spend a lot of time out of the house.

(I wake at 4:30am, we ALL leave the house before 6:30am, John and I work, we pick up our sons around 5pm and we go home.)

I love having dinner with my sons, even when it’s a game or pushing and pulling, cajoling and bribery. Which honestly, it so often is

Sigh

So at about 7pm every night, I make an announcement that I am “going upstairs” and I do.

I take an hour while I leave my husband downstairs with my sons and I ignore everything.

I put our clothes out for the next day, I straighten rooms, I check my email, just one more time, I might “tweet”, but many times I just, um, “HIDE”.

I turn on the TV, I wash my face, change my clothes into my PJs, I wash my face and brush my teeth, I might pick up Entertainment Weekly or In Style and get lost in an article, movie or book review. I might peruse my DVR queue and spend some time with “The Glades”, “Covert Affairs” or “Drop Dead Diva” but I don’t call for those boys until I’ve settled in myself.

Selfish, right?

Not very “motherly” at all
I mean I spend more than 11 hours away from them daily and then I want Just.One.More?

Yet, here’s what I know: I love my boys more every single of the day, I believe that knowing my limitations and taking those moments for me give much more back to them as people, it cuts down on the OTHER Monster Moments of yelling and lost patience, it teaches me to look forward to the sounds of little feet pounding up the steps, yelling “Mommy” to me.

A sound I’ve waited my whole life to hear.

Thank you Natalie, for letting me share my Monster Mommy Moment with all your wonderful readers. It’s always fun to be in your space, I feel so honored to be here. Xo Kir

———-

Kirsten, thank you for sharing your Monster Mommy Moment with us…and for reminding us all that taking time for ourselves is not only natural, it’s necessary…and I think most moms would agree it is required for us to keep our sanity! I couldn’t even imagine working outside of the home, being a mom, AND trying to make time for myself. Kudos to your husband for giving it to you.

Now go swing by The Kir Corner and say hello to Kirsten, and if you’re new there make sure to tell her that I sent you. I know you’ll really enjoy her blog!

I’m also over at my friend Allison’s place Mama Wants This answering all kinds of questions for her Guest Star post! Thank you Allison for asking me, it’s an honor!

Also…who is on your Free Pass list?My Free Pass List post was such a hit that people wanted a linky for it! Write about your Free Pass List and come link up this week!

Comments

  1. Hi Kir! Your Mommy Monster Moment? Not so monstrous. We all need time to ourselves, or we’ll easily go insane! I believe taking time away from our kids, yes, everyday, makes us better mothers – because we have gathered our senses about us, we have centered ourselves, and we are ready to take on the world -and all the challenges toddlers present to us! Thank you for sharing your MMM.

    Natalie, thanks for having Kir here, and for being at my place today! And for the shout out xoxo

    • thanks Alison for those words, and for helping me not feel so “SELFISH”. I know that for me and our family it’s imp for both of us for have some “me time”, I give John his too…so that we are both able to come back to the “RAISING OF TWINS” with a cleared head.

      xo

  2. Hi! I’m new to your blog and a new follower! I found you through Mama Wants This :) Glad to have found two awesome blogs in one place!

  3. Hi Kir! This mommy moment? Not so monstrous. We all need our time to ourselves. We all need to hide and get back to us. It gives us time to refresh, with a new confidence to tackle those toddlers!

    • you are TOO good to me, but thank you for those kind words my friend. Also, I do give John some time to “refresh” too…we both need it with twin Preschoolers now. LOL

  4. Well I have hit the mother load.

    I am fairly new to MoaM&T and I’ve been loving it here. NOW I get to read another talented lady who I absolutely identify with.

    If I don’t get some ME time, they ALL suffer. It’s critical to the family unit, you know what I mean?

    • HI Annabelle,
      so nice to meet you, thanks for stopping by.
      I am always reminded of the sign my mom has in her kitchen: “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”

      it’s universal isn’t it???
      thanks for this comment, I hope you’ll come visit me in the “Corner” too…:)

  5. I think giving your husband time to play with your children is so important.

    • Yes, I do..and then I give him time to play with his phone or Galaxy Tab too…we both need a little “me” time every once in a while for sure.
      thanks for coming by!

  6. Oh Kir! Not so monstrous, but the cloak of mommy guilt that they sneak into our bags as we leave the hospital with our children is a tough one to shake :) Don’t forget that while you are taking some time to recharge your batteries, you are giving John some alone time with his boys, and that’s important, too.

    • I do, and I know that for BOTH of us, if we both have some time alone and then with the boys, we are BOTH BETTER for them and each other.

      thanks for coming over here and making me feel better. Seriously what would I do without you??? xo

  7. Natalie
    thanks SO MUCH for having me. It was such a FUN HONOR to be here.
    *MWAH*
    xo

  8. I can understand why you feel this is a Monster Mommy Moment, but if we don’t take some time for ourselves to recharge and regroup, every one suffers.

  9. Great post, Kir! This is why I decided to go to BlogHer. Because I just need a little time. It turns out that, just like there are angry drunks, there are angry pregnant women.

  10. Finding that balance is so hard. Don’t worry, I think we all want extra mr time and feel guilt ridden about it. Hugs

    • thanks Sweetie, I know that we all wish for it, my Monster Moment is actually taking it. Sigh. But a happy mommy is a happy house, right?

  11. Enjoy that hour of me time that many of us moms don’t get.

  12. Big hugs – enjoy your unwind time. Love you. xo

  13. Ok, love the post but kind of miffed reading it. (LoL)

    Why is it this is your Monster Mommy moment yet many marriage/family counselors stress the importance of “Daddy’s hour”? (Decompress time?)

    They tend to highly encourage men to take time out and unwind before rushing into nightly chores and kids yet Mom’s work just as hard. (If not harder. LoL)

    Monster Moment? No! Fair? Yes! :)

    • but this is something else, since I don’ drive back and forth, my husband does, he really should get some time too, we both wake at the same time, do the same amount of stuff to get out of the house and drop the kiddos off at School together. I feel guilty because I really shouldn’t ask this of him too, but I do. I need it, and that makes me feel awful, when he is working just as hard. *sigh*

      but thank you for this great comment, it gives me even more to Think about. Nice to see you here!

  14. New follower from Mama Wants This. SO happy to have found you!

    • hello, you’ll love Natalie!!! she’s awesome! thank you for commenting on my post too. It’s so good to see “new faces” :)

  15. I’m with Alison…not a monster mommy moment at all! I’d much rather have a little alone time than yelling and screaming at my kids…I’m sure they appreciate that too :)

    • Oh I still scream. LOL, but you’re right when I get that extra hour (or so) to just unwind, alone, I am a much better mommy. Thanks for this.

  16. Oh, lordie- if that’s your monster moment, then I think you deserve Mother Of the Year. That hour alone sounds HEAVENLY.

  17. I wish I would’ve INSISTED on this need sooner.

    I tried to be that PERFECT mommy b/c I had waited a lifetime for my first baby.

    UNREALISTIC expectations…they’ll do us in.

    Glad to see you here, SweetiePie.

  18. ah, the Empress of PERSPECTIVE, that’s what YOU give me. Plus this comment, just made my day, because it’s honest and I know you know me enough to know what I’m saying.

    Hugs to you xo

  19. Kirsten, this is awesome! I may have to take a page or two from your book….

    And when my kids were three, I thought it was harder than two! They have so many opinions of their own…

    • oh thanks!!! I just feel guilty taking it EVERY night, but hey, it’s working for us now.
      Plus, John, should be sainted. Seriously.

      3 is definately harder than 2, OMG, it’s like night and day, the tantrums, the opinions, the attitudes, no wonder I need an HOUR to myself. :)

      xo

  20. Love Kir- she is way too much of a sweetheart to ever have a big monster mommy moment!

    • you are a goof ball!!!! But thank you for saying that. I am just aspiring to be a great mommy like you!
      xo

  21. I have a 3 & 6 y/o boys and I take a break any chance I can get! Ha! This was a great honest post. Loved it! I am following you now over at your blog. :)

    • HI Kelley,
      nice to meet you, so glad you were able to find my blog from here. I promise to get over to yours and follow back.
      thanks fo “relating” too…it’s nice to know that I’m not alone in wanting more “me time” than Ibelieve I actually deserve. 😉

  22. I also went back to work after my daughter was born. But in canada we get a year. By the end of that year I was nervous but ready. I’m not a stay at home mom and give a lot of respect to those who are!!

    • Hi Leighann, Thanks so much for relating, yes, all my respect and awe to women who stay home, wow, I just don’t know if I could. Thanks for commenting, I love seeing you here!

  23. Good for you. I can definitely take a page (or 20) from your book.

  24. My 2 1/2 year old already says to both her dolls and me: “You just need to give me a minute!”

    I wonder where she learned that one. We all need a minute – and better than that, an hour.

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