Monster Mommy Moment – Jen Style

 MommyofaMonster
Today, Jen from Buried with Children is going to be sharing a Monster Mommy Moment with us!
No idea what a Monster Mommy Moment is? You can read all about how my new weekly feature came to be here.
Jen is also a mom of multiples, but she has TRIPLETS (and you guys always think that I have it rough)! She is funny, sincere, and from the moment we started stalking each other, we were instant friends.If you don’t already know her, you will really enjoy reading her and tweeting with her.
So grab a cup of coffee and a donut, ahem, I mean a low-fat muffin, or depending on the time of the day maybe some wine and chocolate, and sit back and enjoy Jen’s Monster Mommy Moment!
———-
My Mommy Monster Moment
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” I screeched at my children sitting around the kitchen table.
The art supplies were scattered all over and Hayden was opening a jar of paint. They all stopped what they were doing and looked up at me.
I had been on the phone with a friend of mine to talk about her sick mom and I had put the art supplies out to keep them entertained while I talked.
“Mom, I want to paint,” Hayden said looking at me with the sweetest puppy dog eyes he could manage.
That damn paint.
In my rush to give them something to do so that I could talk on the phone, I had forgotten to take it out of the box. Paint was such a messy things to do and it was close to dinner time and I just didn’t want to deal with the mess.
“Hayden, you can’t paint,” I said. “We don’t have any paint brushes.”
“Mom, yes we do,” he said as he rooted through the box and the smiled as he proudly produced the package of brushes.
Damn.
I knew those were in there too but I had hoped that he wouldn’t find them. Usually the boy can’t find the nose of his face when asked but this time, when I didn’t want him to find something it was like to conjured them out of thin air.
I felt bad for lying so I made a deal with him, “Fine. You can paint but only with one color and you all have to take turns.”
They all cheered and I thought that this was the perfect solution.
I got him paper and everything he needed to paint and I turned to begin the process of making dinner.
I was proud of myself for making this almost bad parenting moment into a good one with a compromise. I thought things were working out well when I turned to walk to the pantry and saw it.
A very large blue paint spill on the table.
“HAYDEN! WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT?!” I screeched in a high pitch voice that probably made the neighborhood dogs howl.
“I know, I know,” he said through gritted teeth. “I spilled. I was going to clean it up.”
I huffed at him and began mumbling a slur of curse words under my breath as I grabbed some paper towel to clean things up.
“No, mom,” Hayden screamed at me, “I will do. I will clean it up. I did the bad thing. I hate myself, I hate myself. Hate. Hate. Hate.”
He stood up with too much force and knocked the chair over causing a loud bang.
I watched him begin to sob and as he ran out of the room, he hit myself in the head saying over and over and over again how stupid he was and that he hated himself.
The realization of what had just happened seemed to slap me in the face.
I had let my ‘Mommy Monster’ escape.
He was reacting to this situation with the overly dramatic flare that he had seen me do a thousand times before.
Instead of just calmly getting a towel and cleaning up the mess of Crayola paint that comes off of anything, I had yelled and screamed and pretty much had a hissy fit making my son feel terrible. I had let my ‘Mommy Monster’ get the best of me.
I stopped wiping up the paint and found Hayden in a corner of the bathroom huddled into a ball and sobbing.
At first when I touched him he pulled away but soon he was in my arms again saying things about hating himself and what a bad boy he was.
I let him cry and then made him look at me, “You are not a bad boy. You are a wonderful boy and I am very lucky to have you for my son. I am so proud of you.”
He sniffled.
I continued, “I am sorry about that whole thing. I really didn’t handle it very well.”
He looked confused at me so I tried again, “Mommy made a mistake. My behavior was really, really bad. I should not have yelled at you. I am sorry. Will you forgive me?”
He hugged me close and with a sniffle he said, “Yes, mommy. I forgive you.”
And now for the hard part, forgiving myself.
———-
Thanks Jen, for reminding us that we are all sharing the same experiences with our children and that we’re all in this together. And about how forgiving and kind our children are.

Now go swing by Buried with Children and say hello to Jen, and if you’re new there make sure to tell her that I sent you. I know you’ll really enjoy her blog!

And so it goes…

Comments

  1. MommaKiss says:
    I can totally relate. To trying to find something for them to do while on the phone, yelling, apologizing, trying to forgive. Mom'ing is hard.
  2. Great post. I feel the same way. I wish I was as quick to move on as my kids are.
  3. The Empress says:
    I love that you're doing this, Nat...It's so easy to be pulled into the world of everyone does it better than me thinking.

    This series is wonderful. I want more people to hear about it, because I know we all must struggle.
  4. Oh yes, I have had the mommy monster come out in similar moments. It is so easy to do and overreact. Luckily kids really do forgive so easily
  5. Mommy Needs a Vacation says:
    My Mommy Monster comes out WAY TOO MUCH. I really need to take it down a notch! So glad you had Jen over here. She is one of my blog BFF's!
  6. Sluiter Nation says:
    these monster mommy moments are such a good idea, Natalie! these are REAL moms having REAL bad days.

    How many times have I blown up at...well...anyone? It makes me feel better that I am not the only one to overreact in the heat of the moment!
  7. This happens to me WAY too much. And I've always thought I was the only one who had these issues.
  8. Two of my fav bloggers together today. :)

    I overreact and then feel completely awful...and tehn it repeats the next time.
  9. Ugh...yeah...been there, done that. I love these experiences.
  10. The older I get, the more I truly understand my mom and her Monster Mommy moments - especially since I've had my own Monster Sister moments, which not surprisingly mirrored hers. The guilt can be overwhelming for sure.
  11. Oh, Jen! Poor you and poor Hayden!
  12. Not Just Another Jennifer says:
    Oh, so tough to deal with these things! Been there.
  13. Poor little guy. But you handled it very well and I'm sure he's forgotten already.
  14. I can relate too. I wrote a post "mommy messes up, too"...we aren't perfect, but we have to remember that these kiddos are learning from us. Mommy guilt is SO tough! Thanx so much for sharing!
  15. Allyson & Jere says:
    I know this entire situation ALL TOO WELL! And usually the instant the scream comes out I'm sorry and wonder why I can't just EVER NOT react to something. It would make things so much better if I wasn't such a fast reactor.
  16. I love Jen's tweets and almost always retweet them! But this Monster Mommy Moment is so touching, because I think we've all been there. So no matter how funny and "together" someone else seems to be, it happens.

    Thanks for sharing this with us!
  17. Love Jen! We raced through The Venetian to fetch coffee together one time.

    I need to find a way to get rid of my Mommy Monster. She makes me feel really bad.
  18. Mommy guilt sucks! Thanks for sharing a particularly trying mommy monster moment, Jen.
  19. The Flying Chalupa says:
    I can completely relate to the overly dramatic reaction to high tension situations. It's so ingrained in my personality I feel like I just can't control it sometimes. It's so nice seeing someone else battling the same demon. I can tell you're a great mom - don't beat yourself up for this. We all do it.
  20. I really, really loved this post!! I have a 6 y/o boy who displays overly dramatic flare all the time. "You don't love me?" "You want me to go to jail?" "You don't want to live with me anymore?" I'm serious. This post brought tears to my eyes. I know how easy it is to burst out in anger and hurt our children with our words and reactions. I do it all the time. Thanks for sharing this with us! If my sons weren't sleeping right now, I'd give them a really long hug...even though they'd be squirming after a while. I'd hold on to them! Going to visit your blog now!
  21. Mom to 2 Posh Lil Divas says:
    Love the blog & love this series!

    My how many monster Mom moments I have had! I shudder to think of them - the guilt afterwards is horrible!

    It is wonderful though to know you are not alone! I am not a perfect Mom - I am flawed but I love my girls with all my heart.

    Thank you again for this! So glad I found your blog today!

    Bernadette
    http://momto2poshlildivas.blogspot.com
  22. Kristi {at} Live and Love...Out Loud says:
    Ugh! I'm in tears. I've done the same thing myself and it breaks my heart. I know how hard it is to forgive yourself when you hurt your child like that. As much as I'd like to encourage you to forgive yourself and say that it's really all okay, the fact of the matter is I really don't forgive myself for the times I've exploded on the kids. I still carry it around and still feel like a horrible mom sometimes. Motherhood certainly is tough. I wish someone had given me a handbook before I became a mom...
  23. I positively hate when my Mommy Monster moments happen. Hugs to you and I so very much appreciate that you were able to apologize to your son. I hate when parents are are unable to admit mistakes to their children. Parents definitely aren't perfect. Wouldn't it be nice if those darling cute children of ours came with Parenting Manuals?!

    Annie at Maximum Chaos
    www.maximum-chaos.com
  24. Tiffany Poppema says:
    That was a wonderful post. Such a great reminder. I have tears in my eyes and conviction in my heart and a vow to try to do something (maybe paint! lol) with the kids today on their snow day. :)