I am SO excited to have Brittany from Mommy Words here today! We started chatting on the Twitter and I wanted to be BFFs with her immediately…not like in a weird-stalkerish way, but we just hit it off and she’s my kind of peeps. She’s funny, she’s honest and she has the most soothing and calming voice I’ve ever heard. But I know you can’t hear people on Twitter! She did a vlog and I heard her beautiful voice there.
So please help me welcome Brittany so she can share a Monster Mommy Moment with us! No idea what a Monster Mommy Moment is? You can read all about how my weekly feature came to be here.
Go grab a cup of coffee and a donut, ahem, I mean a low-fat muffin, or depending on the time of the day maybe some wine and chocolate, and sit back and enjoy Brittany’s Monster Mommy Moment!
I was trying to be a great mom when I let my 4-year old daughter switch to a ballet class that included tap, a recital and a costume. Previously she was in a very strict class that had no costumes and a “fake” recital, according to Sophia. By fake she meant there were no sparkles and no real stage. I thought I was being so modern and understanding, listening to my pre-schooler and her wants and needs. Sophia told me I was the best mom in the whole world. My heart swelled and my motherhood ego felt pretty darn good.
On the first day of the new class I rushed in with my 3 small children and tossed the calendar and handbook I was given by the director into my overflowing bag. Somehow it made its way to the bottom of my never clean satchel. Covered by diapers, the ipad, my notebook and all the other junk, the calendar remained there for weeks.
In those weeks I marveled at Sophia’s clearly advanced tap technique and her perfect pointed toes. We imagined the recital together and waited impatiently for the costumes to arrive. When the glittering, rainbow colored lollipop costumes arrived we were ecstatic. The whole class got to try them on and spin around a few times to experience the awesomeness of the toddler recital wear. Looking at her face, her eyes sparkled as much as the sequins.
In the car on the way home, Sophia remarked that the summer was going to be awesome. I agreed, saying that I could not wait to go back to the beach. My husband booked us a few days at one of our favorite beaches before the summer crowds and we have been eagerly anticipating the sand-castles and shell collecting and waves. Sophia said “Mom, it’s going to be double awesome because my recital and the beach are coming up!” See? I give my kids double awesome.
The next week my husband took Sophia to ballet and received the recital practice schedule. He waited for her class to start and then called me. “Brittany, you realize our beach trip is the same weekend as Sophie’s recital, right?” I almost threw up. I thought he must be wrong! That darn recital is in June. I have it in my calendar. The hubs gently reminded me that I suck at keeping my schedule up to date and then informed me that he would not be the one to tell Sophia. I dug that piece of paper our of my bag and knew what I would see – the dates I had missed.
I hung up the phone and cried. What kind of mother was I, to not remember the biggest date in my daughter’s near future? I had no idea what to do or how to break the news to her. I resolved to purchase the costume for her and learn her routines and do her recital with her at the beach for our family and the friends who are coming with us. I was going to make a huge big deal of how awesome this would be and try to convince her young mind that it would rock. I felt terrible, but at least I could put a positive spin on things.
The next day Sophia was terrible. She disobeyed so much in the morning that we missed drop off at school and had to park and walk in. When I picked the kids up she refused to let me buckle her and hit my son. I was not in any kind of good mood after an altogether terrible morning. I physically put her in her car seat while she screamed at me. I was overwhelmed and told her she would lose a privilege if she did not stop. She continued her tantrum and I took away our afternoon playdate and her after dinner treat. Her behavior just got worse. During quiet time she woke up baby Violet. In my defense, she woke up the baby who never naps!
At the end of my rope, I took away her precious ballet recital with none of the grace I had planned. I said, at the top of my voice, “little girls who behave like this do not deserve to be in glitter and have special recitals.”
My first born child dissolved into tears and for the first time told me that she hated me. It was okay, because I did too.
With tears streaming down our faces, I told her that I was sorry and that I would never take away the recital for one day of behavior. I told her it was my fault and that we would be at the beach at the same time. I revealed my beach recital plan. Her tears continued as she told me it was not the same thing and asked how I forgot her dance day. I did not have the right words. I know it is not the same thing. She had every right to cry and to be angry. This was a huge mommy fail.
We leave for the beach on Thursday and believe me, I am going to make her dance as special as I can. There will be music and glitter and roses and even a small program. She is a little excited about it. She told me she will forgive me. That’s good, but I have not yet forgiven myself.
Thanks Brittany, for sharing your Monster Mommy Moment with us…and for reminding us all how important it is to share them with each other and learn and grow from others experiences.
And thank you for reminding us to slow down and to remember how important things like this are for our children…it is their everything even if it seems to us to be just one more thing to remember.
Now go swing by Mommy Words and say hello to Brittany, and if you’re new there make sure to tell her that I sent you. I know you’ll really enjoy her blog!
Last but not least, you guys know how much I love the Makes Fun of Stuff blog (and bloggers!). Well, the ladies over at MFOS have left their door open to me and anytime I have a product that I want to shout out loud about (whether it’s good or bad), I guest post over there. This time, I’m raving about a product that I seriously couldn’t live without…so go check it out!