Monster Mommy Moment: Ameena Style

mommyofamonster

I am so excited to introduce you to Ameena from Fancy That…Fancy This who is going to be sharing a Monster Mommy Moment with us!

No idea what a Monster Mommy Moment is? You can read all about how my new weekly feature came to be here.

I found Ameena when she guest posted over at Scary Mommy’s place. I only occasionally used to visit Scary Mommy, but that day I immediately fell in love with Ameena’s humor, beautiful writing, and charm. This is one of the reasons I decided to start hosting a feature – it’s a great way to find new bloggers to get to know!

Since then, we’ve become friends, and are hoping to meet soon since we live relatively close to each other.

So grab a cup of coffee and a donut, ahem, I mean a low-fat muffin, and enjoy Ameena’s Monster Mommy Moment!

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My daughter Maya started crying the instant she was born and no matter what I did, she wouldn’t stop. The doctor diagnosed her with colic, said that she’d probably outgrow it in 3 months, collected my $35 co-pay, and sent me packing.

I tried everything to get Maya to stop crying, and I mean everything! I spent a fortune on gripe water and holistic crying remedies. I switched formulas 3 times. I bought every type of pacifier and bottle that Babies r Us carried. I rocked her in a rocking chair like my life depended on it. I hopped in the car and drove mile after mile at crazy hours of the day and night. I bought a noise machine, I attempted to replicate pin-drop silence, and at one point Baby Einstein commandeered our television day and night.

But the crying continued.

Nobody could understand what I was going through. “Just be patient, she’ll stop eventually,” people said. “Nobody said motherhood was easy,” others lectured. I wanted to scream back, “I didn’t think motherhood was going to be easy, but I also didn’t think it was going to be a living hell!

Since I don’t have it in me to even confront my careless mailman, I kept my real thoughts about being a mother to myself. Instead, I plastered a a fake smile my face and nodded that yes, motherhood was everything I’d imagined and more.

Needless to say, between Maya’s incessant crying, my cabin fever, and the challenges of suddenly being a stay at home mom, it only took me 6 weeks before I realized that I had to go back to work before I went certifiably insane. And despite the protests and outrage that came pouring in from family and friends, I happily rejoined the workforce while leaving my daughter in the care of a nanny who frankly, was far more qualified than me to take care of my child.

I admire those mothers who have the patience and dedication to be a stay at home mom, but truthfully, it isn’t in my genetic makeup to do the same. So while it was hard to make the decision to go back to work, and it was even harder dealing with the fallout, I have zero regrets!

So my point is this: don’t feel bad for choosing your own path – whether it be breastfeeding or going with formula, using a pacifier or not, choosing public school over private, or going to work versus being a SAHM. Do what feels right and I promise that 5 years from now you’ll look back and you won’t regret a thing.

———-

Now go swing by Fancy That…Fancy This and say hello to Ameena! I know you’ll really enjoy her blog.

Have you ever heard of blog scraping? I’m guest posting over at Our Mommyhood today and if you’ve never heard of it, you must go read it…you need to know about it and how to protect your blog!
And so it goes…

Comments

  1. What a great introduction to a new blogger! I truly believe that you always have to do what is right for yourself and your kids- and that no one should judge, b/c we only know our own experiences, not everyone else's!
  2. purseblogger says:
    This girl is really cool! She couldn't have said it any better. It is so true that you have to choose your own path, not the path everyone else thinks you should take. Loved this!
  3. Hello! I'm Kate. says:
    Poor Maya & poor Mom! My MIL says my husband cried with colic until he was 9 months old! She went to work too, she always says she couldn't handle the stress of it all!

    Glad you're happy with your decision and with how it all worked out! Maya has a great mom from the sounds of it!
  4. Being a SAHM isn't for everyone. Kudos to you for doing what's good for YOU and your family!
  5. Doll Clothes Gal Pal says:
    Such a cool post. Thanks for sharing this. :)
  6. Dolli-Mama says:
    I feel like the luckiest person in the world that my babies have never had colic. I don't know what I would do. I have mad respect for anyone who lives through that and stays sane. You get kudos from me too!
  7. I hear ya, Ameena! I had a really hard time staying home and I know other women who say they are better moms because they work. I think there is still such a stigma with talking about that because society *expects* all women to pretend that motherhood is all sunshine and rainbows 24/7.
  8. There really is no one size fits all answer here. Wish the world would figure that out.
  9. Sluiter Nation says:
    YAY! I LOVE LOVE this post! My son had the WORST colic and I heard ALL of those things. Plus I had undiagnosed PPD/A. Going back to work? Liberated me from that jail.

    It left me with massive guilt, but that is another post, right?
  10. I totally get this. My son had colic and no one...NO ONE can tell you how horrific it is and how helpless you feel as a parent unless you have gone through it. It is so difficult.
    I think it's great that you did what was best for you. Too many of us go with the flow and "what society thinks we should do". We should go with our hearts.
  11. Thank you all for your kind words and tweets! I'm so glad that many of you can relate and understand what I went through - I only wish I knew about the blogging world 5 years ago!!

    I am so honored that Natalie allowed me to be part of her wonderful new feature. Thank you again!
  12. Parenting is hard enough as it is without all the unsolicited advice and opinions.

    Good for you for doing what was best for you and your family.
  13. I loved this post!!! And it takes a courageous mother to admit that she's not cut out to be a SAHM! I completely admire working moms...I don't know how THEY do it (working full time AND managing a household!!!)
  14. blueviolet says:
    Just as we all choose different paths in life, so do we choose different styles of motherhood. We need all of us to make the world go round!

    And yes, I do know about blog scraping. I wrote a post recently on that as I've had a heck of a time with it!
  15. I'm glad you chose your own path. Only you can make the right decision for yourself.
    I went back to work as soon as the doctor released me. It was in my daughter's best interest that I not be a SAHM. And I was fortunate that my mother was supportive and was my daughter's caregiver.
  16. You always need to do what works best for YOU and your family, and it amazes me to this day that people think there's a "one fits all" solution to parenting!
  17. So true. I am a firm believe that their is no right way and no one can tell us how to be a parent. Being a SAHM ins't for everyone. It is better to work and be happy than stay at home and be miserable. It is best for the whole family.
  18. I always wonder how SAHM mom's do it! Granted I don't have any children, but to me that just sounds more difficult. You're right though that everyone has their own path that suits them.
  19. Great post. SO true, too. I think, as moms, we heap guilt about...well, everything, onto ourselves all the time. We just have to remember that what works for us doesn't work for everyone else..as long as our home is happy and healthy, we're doing ok.

    Now, off to her blog!
  20. The Sweetest says:
    My son cried for six months, and it made me feel sad, angry, and helpless. Sometimes, after trying for hours to get him to stop, I'd just toss him in his crib and go into he next room and scream. With all of my might. Throw things. FREAK OUT. And then I'd feel guilt and shame.
  21. As I watch many of my coworkers start families and begin to allow themselves to be pulled in a million different directions by family and friends - this is exactly the kind of advice I give them. Choose your own path - although I always say - "You're the mom. You and your partner know what's best for you and your baby/kids/pets/householdplants. Step back and shut out all the noise and make the choice that seems right to you."
    Great post. Can't wait to go check out your blog!
  22. Colic can drive even the most patient of people bananas and/or back to work. And anyone who hasn't had a baby with colic has no idea how bad it is. Glad you had the confidence to do what was right for you!
  23. LOVE this post. I can so relate.
  24. MommaKiss says:
    I totally believe I'm not cut out for the stay-home thing either. I relate on so many levels. And my kid wasn't even colicky! Just, well, a kid! I had no idea what the hell I was doing at home but at work, things were black & white. I knew what I was doing. It saved me. Love this feature, Nat! I wanna write for ya!
  25. SurferWife says:
    Blog scraping? I have no idea....I'm off to read.
  26. Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points says:
    "Protests and outrage."

    BAH!!

    Makes me tempted to swear in another woman's house.

    Research now shows (honest to god - study just released) children of working moms do JUST AS WELL in EVERYTHING as children of SAHMs.

    NO GUILT.

    NO OUTRAGE.

    Good for you, doing what you needed to do.

    Hmm...working mom or psychotic mom?

    I know who I'd choose.
  27. Ugh... the minute you become pregnant it seems as though EVERYONE has an opinion. Well, you know what they say about opinions? They're like assholes.

    Good for you for doing things the way you needed to for your sanity and for your family. That's what motherhood is 98% of the time....finding your own way.

    Great post.

    Thanks, for hosting Natalie. Off to check out Ameena's blog.

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