Monster Mommy Moment – Alex Style

 MommyofaMonster
Today, I am so excited to have one of my blogging idols here: Alex from late enough, who is sharing a Monster Mommy Moment with us!
No idea what a Monster Mommy Moment is? You can read all about how my new weekly feature came to be here.
Alex is somebody I relate to on so many levels – but she’s much funnier than I am. She’s shy, straightforward, tries to see the humor in everything, is a little insecure but knows it and is working on it, and is somebody I know I’d love if I ever get to meet her IRL someday. I love her already, but you know what I mean. And did I mention she’s funny? Oh, and another thing? She can Write (yes Alex, I capitalized that for no reason) – I mean she can WRITE.

So grab a cup of coffee and a donut, ahem, I mean a low-fat muffin, or depending on the time of the day maybe some wine and chocolate, and sit back and enjoy Alex’s Monster Mommy Moment!

———-

Parenting Would Be Easier If You Like Me Better Than Your Dad

Scott, my husband, didn’t realize that he’d have to work that weekend. I’m mentally unprepared to solo-parent an extra day. Although looking back, it seems like a lame excuse.

As Saturday morning arrives, I rally when Scott drives off to his pediatric practice. We climb into the car and head to the bagel shop with the promise of a toy story. As we’re driving, I realize that we forgot to get my son’s physical for his dental surgery on Monday. CRAP. I call Scott to tell him that we’ll be stopping by the practice. The kids are cheering in the background. Scott says no.

Me: What?
Scott: I have a ton of patients and every other one is flu positive. You can’t stop by. We can do the physical later.
Me: Fine.

But I’m not fine. I’m annoyed. Because now I have to explain to the children that we won’t be seeing Dada. And my children are in the DADA IS BETTER THAN CAKE phase. Plus, I was looking forward to a quick morale hug. Maybe even someone else to carry around my woke-up-needy daughter.

I turn to the kids and say: We aren’t going to Dada’s office anymore. But we still get to go to bagels and the toy store!
My kids: NOOOOO.
My son: But I have BOOGIES.

I sigh. My son would rather pretend to be sick than be with me at the toy store. I shift from annoyed to irritated. And then I open my mouth.

Me: Well, Dada said he doesn’t want us to come. I don’t understand why either.

I watch this sink in for my kids. At first, I think: Why should I tell them any different. It’s the truth! Mostly.

But I know that it’s not right. My husband and I are a team, and my children need that from us.

I don’t fix it though. I’m tired of playing second fiddle.

We go to the bagel store and toy store and have a great time. My husband shows up at the toy store and it’s like Elmo came to visit.

WOW!! WOW!! DADADADAADAD!!! WE MISSED YOU! HUGS!! MEMEME HUGS!

I injure my eye from the constant rolling.

I ask to take the other car home so I can have ten minutes to myself. Scott says he can’t. He has to stop by a patient’s house on the way back home.

I’m livid. He knows I’m having a bad day. The kids are livid. Because Dada walks on water and that’s a neat trick. And now, I’m livid at the kids.

The children and I get into the car, and they won’t stop whining about how much they want their Dada. And I know these are phases. Kids switch parents and favorites all the time. But in that moment, I don’t care. I’m tired of understanding. I’m tired of being second-best. I’m tired of being forgiving of Scott’s work. I’m just tired.

Me: I TOOK YOU TO A TOY STORE AND YOU’D RATHER BE WITH DADA WHO ISN’T EVEN WILLING TO BE WITH US! HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE WITH US.

My kids start crying.

My son: I don’t want to be your friend.

Me: I DON’T WANT TO BE YOURS EITHER.

Silence.

I think: No wonder they don’t want to be with me. I’m a terrible mother.

I don’t even want to tell my husband what I said in the car. Because I don’t want him to know that I attempted to twist his relationship with our children. I feel sick.

I don’t want to be that mom. That bad guy. That monster.

My only solace is that I remember a friend commenting on a post with the line: You can’t judge your parenting based on one moment.

By mid-afternoon, I ‘fess up and apologize to my husband and to my children.

I hope to be a better mom and wife and Alex tomorrow.

Or to at least to keep my mouth shut. Anyone have duct tape?
———-

And now you see why I love me some Alex. This line “You can’t judge your parenting based on one moment” – should be tattooed on my forehead. It’s a good thing to remember.

Thank you my friend, for reminding us that we are all sharing the same experiences and that we’re all in this together and that we can learn from each other’s mistakes experiences.

Now go swing by late enough and say hello to Alex, and if you’re new there make sure to tell her that I sent you. I know you’ll really enjoy her blog!

And so it goes…

Comments

  1. Oh. My. God. I had a moment very similar to this just this past week! I had a million things going on at once around dinner time and Tim still wasn't home. I had 1 kid sitting on the counter and for some stupid reason I put a hot pot down right next to him and before I could say anything, he touched it and completely freaked out. Then he wouldn't let me run his hand under the cold water as he screamed his lungs out. The chicken was burning in the oven, the other 3 kids were fighting with one another. And I completely lost it and said, "Fine....if you won't let me help you make your hand feel better than you'll just have to suffer through it".

    In comes Tim from work and saves the day. Everyone runs to Daddy and tells him how mean I am because I let Garrett burn his hand on a hot pot and then I wouldn't do anything about it.

    I stormed upstairs and cried for 10 minutes straight.

    Thank God we can't judge our parenting on one moment!! Love that phrase and I'm going to remember that for the next "moment"!!

    Thanks for sharing this!
  2. Life Without Pink says:
    Why do they always get super excited to see Daddy? I've had these moments too {probably too many times} where they say, "We love Daddy better."...been there!
  3. MamaRobinJ says:
    Oh, fabulous. I'm not the only one who does stuff like this? Yay! This totally made me laugh. And feel for you, too. We've all been there. Thanks for sharing it with us - both of you!
  4. I'm currently the favorite. And I feel guilty about it every. damn. day.

    There's no way to win.
  5. Sluiter Nation says:
    It is SO stressful to me when Eddie only wants "da-ee". Especially when Da-ee is not home. I have snapped a couple times too. At least I am not alone, right? RIGHT?
  6. oh how I love me some Alex. the minute she finally agrees to let me be her nanny/house cleaner, I'm moving in with her permanently.

    but this line? "I don’t want to be your friend." slayed me. instead of witty barbs, I'm going to use this now.
  7. By Word of Mouth Musings says:
    She sounded all perfect in your initial description, and then she turned out to be a normal Mom, and now I like her more.
    We all have momflaws, some are just better at hiding them than others!
    The tables will turn, you will be the fav again, its like a see saw - other days, just bribe them!
  8. I agree 100% - you cannot judge your parenting based on one moment. We all get overwhelmed. Congrats for moving on!
  9. The mad woman behind the blog says:
    I'm the fave in our house and I tell you, it sucks. Daddy can't do nighttime, can't calm middle of the night fears, can't do many of the caregiver acts that would give me just a little bit of relief. Its exhausting.
    But we've had our Daddy can do no wrong days too and I feel your pain.
    Thank you...these moments will pass and as long as we learn from them before we scar our children, I think we'll all be okay. Crossing fingers!
  10. Great monster mommy moment from Alex. I often find myself saying things I shouldn't say to my kids and then regretting the words. It is hard sometimes because it can be frustrating and overwhelming and not enough time to filter the words before they come out of our mouths.
  11. Jessica Anne says:
    Glad I'm not the only non-favorite. Once my kids hit 2, I stop being the favorite. Ever. It sucks. All the whining for daddy is annoying. It makes me angry too.
  12. I am like the Queen of Snapping at my kids. Seriously. I think I even have a crown. I feel like ass after and apologize and they still love me. Kids are good like that.
  13. Alex@LateEnough says:
    Thank y'all. Luckily, I met a mom that day who was way more dysfunctional than me. YAY! Oh wait, that not nice...

    Seriously. Thanks for making me feel like I'm not the worst mama in the world because living it, writing it, sending it Natalie, all weren't easy.

    And thanks Natalie for hosting me and for you very kind introduction. xoxo.
  14. L. Eleana Johnson says:
    I have these moments. But seeing your post makes me realize that I'm only human. You apologized, your family loves you for it. Now off to your next adventure in parenting.
  15. Dad is the favorite in the morning because that's "their" time together, but as soon as Dad has to get in the shower and go to work, it's all about Mommy. For the next 10-12 hours!

    Lucky me.

    Great post, Alex.
  16. Newmomagain says:
    Thanks for your honesty, Alex. Being a mom is HARD sometimes. Thanks for reminding us all that we shouldn't judge ourselves on one mistake. I needed that today. :)
  17. Megan (Best of Fates) says:
    I love Alex. And I like seeing examples that she isn't perfect - sometimes I feel so intimidated and I don't even have kids yet!

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  1. [...] Parenting Would Be Easier If You Like Me Better Than Your Dad. Mommy of a Monster asked me for my Mommy Monster Moment. And I provided one where I sucked not just as a mom but also as a wife. Yay? [...]