Monster Daddy Moment – Abe Style

Today is a good one for Monster Moments, because we have another Dad sharing his Monster Daddy Moment with us! I am really excited to have Abe (AKA Cheeseboy22 if you’re on The Twitter) from The Blog O’ Cheese here today! Abe is by far one of the funniest people on Twitter, and he has a hilarious blog that I don’t comment on often enough – simply because I can’t think of anything clever to say. He’s also a first grade teacher, so he understands having to deal with kids all day long.

So please help me welcome Abe so he can share a Monster Daddy Moment with us! No idea what a Monster Mommy (Daddy) Moment is? You can read all about how my weekly feature came to be here.

Go grab a cup of coffee and a donut, ahem, I mean a low-fat muffin, or depending on the time of the day maybe some wine and chocolate, and sit back and enjoy Abe’s Monster Mommy Moment!

———-

“Dad, can we cut off my penis today?” 

I looked in the rearview mirror to see my three-year-old son grinning from one big, floppy ear to the other.

“Now why in the world would you want to do that, Calder?” I respond, my tone twittering between anger and laughter.

“Can we dad?” 

I was troubled by his excitement.

“OW! Calder, that would hurt so bad!” 

I decided that a scare tactic was the best response, rather than a dumbed-down sex education course. He pressed on.

“NO IT WOULDN’T! IT WOULDN’T HURT!”

“Oh, yeeeeeees it would!”

“NO IT WOULDN’T!” 

My seven year old son, giggling like an idiot the entire time, decided to chime in.

“Yes Calder, that would really hurt.  You would bleed.”

Twenty awkward, silent seconds pass. My wife and I share glances at each other, trying to force the other to lose it while my 7-year-old was rolling all over the back seat like a ticklish hyena. 

Finally, Calder breaks the silence.

“So can I cut off my penis today, mom?”

(The classic, “Check with the other parent after one has said no” trick. Works nevery time.)

“NO!”

“Why mom???”

“Well Calder, how would you pee?”

“Magic.” 

My 7-year-old son laughed for twenty straight minutes.  My wife and I joining in from time to time until we get home.

———-

Thanks Abe, for sharing your Monster Daddy Moment with us…and for reminding remind us not over react, to slow down and really laugh at moments like these.  They’re what make parenting fun! And also knowing that every single parent out there deals with the “if dad says no, go ask mom (or vise versa)”.

Also? I am now going to say ‘nevery’… a lot!

Now go swing by The Blog O’ Cheese and say hello to Abe, and if you’re new there make sure to tell him that I sent you. I know you’ll really enjoy his blog!

Last but not least, it’s the last day to check out my current giveaway – win an annual membership to HappyFitMe.com  to get in shape without even leaving your home!

Comments

  1. You had me at the first line. That was really funny!

  2. Cheeseboy has a blog?! His tweets are so funny, his blog HAS to be! Plus, he owes me some Baskin Robbins.

    I loved this…it just seems like such an easy question for a boy to ask. And at that age? You certainly hate to give him the REAL reason he wants to keep it!

  3. Honored to have this moment and to have shared it with you. Thanks for inviting me and thank you, 3-year-old son, for being so incredibly strange so we may all laugh at you.

  4. visiting here from Cheeseboy….that post rocks…lol.

  5. I love Cheeseboy.

    I always think how much I’d like him IRL.

  6. Since I know nothing of penises…Wait, that didn’t come out right. I mean, since I have only girls, I never had to venture into this territory. Although, every time I was on the phone with my friend when our kids were little, (she had all boys), she would yell many times throughout the conversation. “Would you take your hands out of your pants and leave it alone for half a second, PLEASE!”

    It must be a breath of fresh air, Cheese, to be able to post about penises in this estrogen laced world of blogging.

  7. LOL! Oh the things kids come up w/to stump us. That’s gotta be on like a Top Ten List somewhere…it just has to.

  8. As the mom of a little boy, I know they can ask some ca-razy questions, but this one tops them all!

  9. I would’ve lost it…

  10. wondering how I’ve never been introduced to Cheeseboy before now, I was definitely missing out on some hilarity!! thanks for the feature – I’m now following his blog & his twitter :)

  11. That is hilarious!

    Boys and their penises. Hubs got home from a golf tournament late the other day and checked on all the kids when he got in- he had to wake me up to inform me that all 3 were sleeping holding on to their “junk.”

  12. That would be magic if he could pee with no wiener.

  13. It’s like their favorite toy, I swear. And the second I tell them to take their hands out of their pants, I glance at Mr. Kiss – he’s elbow deep while watching a game. I’ll never understand it, just carry a lot of Purel.

    As for wanting to cut it off, tho? That perplexes me. Not sure what I’d answer to that. I’d pretend not to hear.

  14. The boys with their hands in their pants. And their love of informing Mommy about everything that is happening with their member. But to cut it off, wow, my monkey never came up with that (so far). Need to check out Cheeseboys blog, this post had me cracking up :-).

  15. I love me some Cheeseboy! This was super funny (like all his posts). Thanks for sharing~

  16. LOL! That is just awesome…

  17. Lol! Oh man I don’t know how I would have reacted. Abe’s blog is the best!

  18. Now that is hysterical!

    And I am a little surprised that I have not had this conversation with my sons.

  19. I would just want to know why. hahahahaha.

  20. So funny! Kids will say the craziest things!

  21. Oh, Abe! I love your boys! I gotta know why he wanted to cut it off. Was he just getting tired of carrying around or what?!

  22. I must admit to my affinity for the Blog O’ Cheese – he’s hilarious. But I don’t know how I would respond to a request like this from my son. Not taking it too seriously was a good move. That and not giving him a knife.

  23. I have no clue how I’d answer that. Of course, my 18 month old will claim he needs a diaper change far more often than he really does, just so that we’ll expose his best friend.

    But, then he smacks it. So, I don’t get it.

    Loved the story.

  24. I just hope you hid the scissors after that conversation Cheeseman.

  25. Abe always delivers. I’m sure there is never a dull moment in his household.

  26. That is awesome! Yes, bring it back down to the basics that they understand best. Pee. Speaking of pee and that other word that starts with “pe–“, I am really behind on sex education with my boys. They don’t even know the real word. We call it private. I need to step up my game!

  27. Way to draw your readers in from the very first line! LOL. Just getting caught up on my Monster Mommy Moments. Thanks for a good laugh!