Mommy Wants a Mommy Time Out

I wish that the kids would put me on a mommy time out. For bad behavior. Or whatever. All I know is that I would really love a mommy time out. Some days I’d actually beg for a mommy time out if we are being honest. Really.

You know how they say that when you put your little ones on time out, the length of the time out should be your toddler’s age, but in minutes? If we use that same formula, that means I’d earn myself 39 minute time outs. And that I could really learn to enjoy!

But there are two different kinds of time outs for me: the fantasy ones and the realistic ones. Let’s start with the fantasy ones first. These time outs are much longer than 36 minutes, but they are fantasies so they can be as long as I want them to be.

Do you ever wish your kids would put you on a mommy time out? Here's a list of ones that you could make happen throughout the day &others to dream about

Fantasy Time Outs:

  • Vacation with hubby. Doesn’t matter where. Doesn’t matter how long. But really, we all know what would happen. We’d be gone for about half a day before I started whining about missing the kids and wanting to go home. And then one minute after I got home, I’d want to be on vacation again. But this is a fantasy, right? So it stays on the list.
  • Vacation – Eat, Pray, Love style. But without the Pray adventure. Because let’s face it, living like that is work, not vacation. Not for me anyways.
  • Spa day. Not just one or two treatments, I’m talkin’ the whole sha-bang from head to toe, front to back.
  • Waking up late. Staying in bed until I feel like getting up. Having coffee on the patio, undisturbed. Going for a mani/pedi and lunch with friends. Then shopping. Coming home and taking a nap. Then going to dinner and drinks with hubby. And sleeping an entire night, uninterrupted.
  • Laying on a white sand beach, next to bath temperature, crystal clear water. With an umbrella drink. Listening to reggae.
  • Girls weekend away…in Vegas or Palm Springs.

Don’t those all sound great?!

Now for the Realistic Time Outs:Do you ever wish your kids would put you on a mommy time out? Here's a list of ones that you could make happen throughout the day & others to dream about.

  • Going to the bathroom and/or taking a shower. Alone.
  • Going grocery shopping. Alone.
  • Vacuuming. Alone. Without a train of children at my heels that I try not to run over.
  • Making dinner…with NO interruptions. Without a train of children at my heels that I try not to run over/burn/drop food or knives on.
  • Watching Top Chef, Project Runway, True Blood, or Next Food Network Star…with NO interruptions.
  • Reading a whole page of anything..with NO interruptions.
  • Having a phone conversation…with NO interruptions.
  • Enjoying a glass of wine…with NO interruptions.
  • Having a real conversation with hubby…with NO interruptions.
  • Hiding from the kids for 5 minutes…just to ensure a few minutes of peace and quiet…with NO interruptions.

What would your mommy time outs (fantasy or realty) be?

Mama's Losin' It

I wrote this post for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop in response to Prompt #2: If you were put in “time out”, where would you want to be placed and why?


  1. MommaKiss says:
    Spa day? FOR REAL! I'm usually so sad when I go for a lovely hour long massage, then a mani/pedi, maybe some coffee and a book and then you walk in the door and your kids are hangin' on ya and whining and daddy says "your turn" because you were gone for 3 hours. Yah. Whole Day would rock.

    Not to mention pooping in private :)
  2. MommaKiss says:
    Hi. My name is MommaKiss and I can't sleep. And apparently I'm also a stalker.
  3. Having a real conversation with the hubby - with NO interruptions.
    I would take this over a spa day for myself. I miss being able to just talk and not having to say, what was I saying?, every few minutes.
    I guess some day we'll be saying our children don't talk to us anymore but geesh...give me a few moments ya know?
    Have a great day!
  4. Tell Me Something Good says:
    A spa day, head to toe and front to back, sounds wonderful. Here's to hoping you get to enjoy one of those fantasy time outs soon. Or at least one of the realistic ones.
  5. I have to say that both your lists are perfect and I totally agree! Funny how different the fantasy list is from the reality! I will so join you on the spa day, and then I would like to go lay on the beach LOL! Doing anything with out interruption and in private feels like a fantasy to me, because it never happens LOL!
  6. The Urban Cowboy says:
    I don't think I can list what I consider 'time outs' :)
  7. thelifeofjamie says:
    I want to go to your time out! Just insert the word beer for wine and you and I have the same dreams!!! What kind of crime do I need to commit to go to time-out? I need to commit at least 2 because I am 31 and need at least 62 minutes kid free!
  8. Sharlene T. says:
    Ha ha ha ha ha ha, that's so funny... they said, when I was your age, that someday I would look back and laugh and I didn't believe them... thank you for restoring my faith in my friend's ability to prophecy... fortunately, there will come a day when you will be able to enjoy a full day at the spa, come home and have a full conversation with your husband, and with all your heart that your children were there interrupting you and following you into the bathroom... but, you made my day... when you find a break, come visit

    Twitter: SolarChief
  9. Booyah's Momma says:
    Your fantasy time outs sound like heaven. Come to think of it, so do your realistic ones.
  10. Those are great!
  11. Pumpkin and Piglet says:
    The fantasy ones sound so good but I'd go for any of the realistic ones too! Especially reading a whole page of something with no interruptions, I can't remember the last time I managed to read more than a paragraph without having to leap up to do something else!
  12. I'd go for ANY of these...fantasy or real! And I would add being able to have a phone conversation without interruption. That would take a miracle!
  13. Lula Lola says:
    Great list! I'd so love a spa day. Especially since I've gone barefoot so much this summer that I don't even need shoes. I've grown my own shoes soles and they ain't pretty!
    Hope you get a time out today!
  14. Funky Mama Bird says:
    I would happily take any of those time outs. Any of them. For real.
  15. Aging Mommy says:
    Great post! very clever. I'd earn myself 47 minutes which just once a day would be pure heaven! I am so looking forward to the day when going to the bathroom and showering on my own again is a reality :-)
  16. Belle's Butterfly says:
    I would love a spa day. Heck I would love just to go get a pedi or my eyebrows waxed. Yes I am willing to put myself in pain for 5 minutes of me time. I only have one and feel like this, I can only imagine what it's like with 3. And I have 8 hours out of the day that I'm not with her. Maybe that makes it worse and makes her clingy at night so I can't even go to the bathroom without having to bring her in there with me. And wine? I don't remember the last time I had any, and that's just plain sad. I'm with you, mommy's should get time outs too!
  17. Cuz I'm the mama! says:
    I LOVE this post more than life itself. I relate to it 100%. The fantasy timeouts are DEAD on. And ... of course the reality ones, too. Thanks for making my day!
  18. I like the one about being able to watch _____________ without interruptions. I would like to change that one just a bit and add it to my list... *I would like to watch TrueBlood when it comes ON the FIRST time with no interruptions, and without having to wait for it to rerun or watch it on demand* This would be so nice, but alas, even if 3 of my 4 children are settled and out of the way, my 8 year old son has decided the livingroom is his bedroom.
  19. Courtney says:
    I would LOVE to go to the bathroom by myself. Please and thank you.
  20. Can I please join you in fantasy time out? Please? I'm begging here.
  21. Yeah, that whole beach scenario sounds divine. Count me in.
  22. I hear you on watching a show without interruption. That's a miracle on the level of loaves and fishes in our house. I love that you did both fantasy and realistic time outs.
  23. WTH am I Doing? says:
    Oh, I would love to be able to watch grown-up shows. I Netflix CSI so I can actually see it. I'd love to start True Blood. Heck, I started 6 Feet Under & would like to watch that too.


    I'm getting TV lust. I need to stop.

    I love your list! :)
  24. My time out consists of hiding in the laundry room. It's very exotic.
  25. PV Lundqvist says:
    Man, don't you have Dadurday in your house? I get hit with that about once a week.
  26. Bethany @ Organic Enchilada says:
    I use the little guy's nap time as my time out. I put a movie on for the other kid(s) and relax with a book. If I fall asleep, so be it. But I've got older kids than you, so I'll just say that it gets easier. Hang in there!
  27. macgyver mom says:
    Visiting from MamaKat's...all your options sound wonderful! Hope you get some of them :)
  28. Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip says:
    Oh Natalie, every single thing you wrote in this post was so hilarious and so true. I would love a 36 minute time out (I'm 36 too btw!) and if I could take mine, I would hide out in the bathroom by myself and pant my toenails ALONE without anyone trying to sneak the paint away and make a toddler masterpiece all over the living room walls.
  29. Your realistic ones sound like a total fantasy around here.

    Btw, we have the same reality show addictions.
  30. Mothers' Hideaway says:
    I went grocery shopping last week and was so excited because it was kid free. Amazing what it'll do for you!
  31. Kristi {at} Live and Love...Out Loud says:
    Okay Natalie, we're seriously long lost sisters. I love your fantasy time outs! And your realistic time outs? Sign me up! Heck, I couldn't even get through reading your blog post with NO interruptions from my kids. Why don't they come with a mute button?
    Great post Natalie! I haven't played along with Mama Kat in a while. Guess I need to get back in the game! Hope you're having a great day.

    Kristi, Live and Love...Out Loud
  32. elizabeth @ twelvecrafts says:
    I just raised my two year old's time out time from 2 minutes to 2 and a half minutes because she pretty much just laughs at me for the first 2 minutes. It's those last 30 seconds that she finally figures out she's being disciplined. The other day she tried to send me to the "thinking spot" (that's what we call the time out rug) because I told her "no" when she wanted a treat. Time outs AND naps are two things you only learn to appreciate after you are too old for them. If I could have a 33 minute time out and a nap every day, I would be a much happier person! ;)
  33. the conversation sans interruptions would change my everyday life.

    we went to boston for a weekend and left my mom with kate (when we lived in NH). all we did was talk about her!
  34. I would for once admit I am 28 instead of saying 21 if that would give me a 28 minute time out.
  35. Paul and Kerry says:
    I am ALL for time outs. you deserve one so go take one. all 36 minutes. ha!

    I love your lists. I would love every single one too.
  36. I could use a timeout as well. Sometimes my husband and I schedule one hour to do whatever we want. For him, it's usually cycling. For me, it's usually writing :) Great list. I am going to fantasize about white sand beaches for the rest of the day...
  37. moveovermarypoppins says:
    Do you mean to suggest you ever get to go to the grocery store alone?

    I get so high on it, I do crazy things like stop for coffee without having to buy an additional donut and juice/chocolate milk!

    Great post, Natalie!
  38. Brilliant! Love all the fantasy time outs but when you mentioned the beach with bath like warm water i was sold...when do we go?! Lol can you imagine being able to do ANYTHING without interuptions? Life would be to boring : )

    Great post!

  39. Ha-ha, I would get 45 minutes!

    I agree that there is a big difference between the Fantasy Time-outs and the Reality. Most nights I am happy to get the glass of wine, time with hubby, and maybe a good night's sleep!

    Umbrella drink......yum.
  40. Ry's Mama says:
    Too funny! I love the fantasy vs. reality...I'd go for any of them. Any day. Please?
  41. Enya @ Almost Crunchy says:
    I go to work. That's my time out. The best thing about being a massage therapist is that I get paid to be calm.
  42. Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points says:
    I remember those days...and I only had ONE.

    They'll come back. Promise. Sooner than you think. And don't worry - you won't forget how. It's a little like riding a bike. Only you have to turn your brain off - it'll think for the first little while that it's hearing children that are in reality 50 miles away.
  43. I'll be a monkey's uncle if you didn't hit that nail on the head.

    Okay, I say we go ahead and schedule the Palm Springs deal and you and me will head out for some girl time. Don't mention it until we are both ready to walk out the doors of our respective homes. We'll need to get some walky-talkies though...and camouflage. Meet me at the check-in area at the airport. I'll be the one looking all blissed out, kay?
  44. Witchy Crazy Mommy says:
    I would love to have NO interruptions for anything and being able to take a bath alone! I'm with you on the time out!
  45. Great Time Outs! I love the fantasy version follwed by the relaity. Relaity stinks sometimes, doesn't it?

    Oh, and I have two minutes on you (I'm 3-8). :)
  46. Average Girl says:
    Don't despair -- the realistic time-outs are only a couple of years away. As for the fantasy ones...still waiting on those...
  47. You mean you'd like to go back to your life before kids!!!!! We all fantasize about that!!! But then again, when reality strikes, you realize you would not really trade life with your kids for anything in the world. They truly bring more happiness and laughter than sadness and craziness. I cannot imagine life without you and all my beautiful grandchildren!


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