That’s right! It’s time for another Mommy Moment at the Monster! If you’re not sure what a Mommy Moment at the Monster is, head over and read all about how Mommy Moments at the Monster came to be.
Today, I’m so excited to welcome Jessica from Really? I’m a Mom? Jessica is Mom to two little ones, she’s funny and sarcastic, much like I am, and loves Twitter, which is how we became friends.
Go grab a cup of coffee and a donut, ahem, I mean a low-fat muffin, or depending on the time of the day maybe some wine and chocolate, and sit back and enjoy the story!
What a phrase right? Well, I honestly thought I didn’t have any.
I wanted to do a guest post, but on what?
I was the best mom.
Never had a monster mommy moment – not bragging, its just that I am basically still a new mom. Creature 1 (Monkey) is only 2 years old and Creature 2 (Diva) is just 4 months. Wait, hold up…just thought of one. Wait…thought of another…You know what? We’ll just go with this story.
Then – inspiration hit. Like a freaking brick wall.
You see, for a while now, I’ve been chiding my husband on his word usage. “Babe, don’t say that! Monkey is starting to repeat things.” But my husband – as with all men – didn’t listen.
When I’m saying something he doesn’t want to hear; he jokingly says: “Stop, you’re annoying me right now.”
Now? My son? Says it constantly. “yo ‘nnoying”
Horrified, I told my husband.
“Why can’t you be more like me? I always watch what I say and do around monkey man.” To which Mr. Man responds, “Stop. You’re annoying me.” And then he laughs.
As you can see – I live with a freakin comedian. Awesomeness.
My mom. She’s been coming over a coupla days a week to help me out. Such a great help.
But? She was crazy about putting in socket protectors in all the electrical sockets. Literally the woman would come over and check all the outlets within the first 5 minutes of arriving.
I would of course roll my eyes and let her do that until one day. Monkey picked up an outlet protector cover thingy, walked right over to the open outlet and tried to put it in.
With my heart in my throat – I thankfully stopped him in time.
But, the damage was done. I called my mom – chided her. “Mom, we gotta remember he is really watching us now. He’s imitating and all that. Please be careful.”
See? I am total super mom.
Then…well…then a coupla days go by after that. I was changing my son’s diaper.
Oh wait – lemme spill this secret. I love the TV show Friends. When 4 o’clock comes by, I happily turn on my TBS and leave Friends on in the background.
Mommas gotta get her laugh on too…right? Especially when cooking dinner, or laundry or some other monotonous chore.
Anyhow, back to what I was saying. Changing monkey’s diaper.
He looks over at my daughter – who started crying at the very moment I open his diaper (of course) and says: “b***h.”
I stopped dead.
“What did you say?” (horrified. Mr. Man and I do not curse outside of dangit, freaking, heck, etc)
“Monkey, don’t say that. It’s not nice.” (which of course in toddler language means….keep saying it)
“b***h.” “b***h.” “b***h.” “b***h.”
My husband walked over and started laughing hysterically. “Where did he learn that?!” Floored, I couldn’t answer.
But I knew.
Hmm….guess momma needs to be more careful about the things she watches with monkey man.
So much for being the perfect supermom.
Ehh….being an imperfect momma is much more fun anyways.
Thank you for sharing this Jessica…we all have a bad habit or two that we’ve passed on to our kids, whether it’s something we actually do or just expose them to. That’s part of being a mom, right? And a Monster Mommy? Imperfect Momma? At some point I think all kids end up calling their moms the meanest mom in the world. It’s a title we should wear with pride because it means we’re doing something right. And Monster Mommies and Imperfect Mommas are included in that title too!
There’s no manual out there for what we do, so sharing stories like this helps us all learn from each other.
Now head over to Really? I’m a Mom? and if you are new there, make sure to tell Jessica that I sent you!
Now I need your help…I am trying to figure out if I should continue posting Mommy Moment features in 2012. I have a list already of about 40 bloggers I want to ask to participate, however, if it’s not something you as a reader want to read, I don’t want to continue the feature. Can you respond to my poll and let me know how you feel about it?