Mommy Moment – Jamie Style

That’s right! It’s time for another Mommy Moment at the Monster! If you’re not sure what a Mommy Moment at the Monster is, head over and read all about how Mommy Moments at the Monster came to be.

So let’s welcome Jamie from chosen chaos! Jamie is a mom of four and a great story teller. I recently had the chance to guest post on her blog, and jumped at the chance! So I wanted to return the favor and have her share her words with you here so that you can see just why I like her so much!

Go grab a cup of coffee and a donut, ahem, I mean a low-fat muffin, or depending on the time of the day maybe some wine and chocolate, and sit back and enjoy the story!

———-

I can recount the events of this day as if they happened yesterday. It’s been over 2 years now.

Mornings in my house, no matter what I try to do, are never smooth sailing. I’m not a morning person and everyone else IS. So I am usually the sour face running around trying to get everything ready in not enough time. Rush, rush, rush. This particular morning it was five minutes past time to go. Everybody was ready except me. Middle-man kept whining something about his feet or his shoes. He was a fresh one year old so he wasn’t really talking. Just grunts, making a few understandable words, and whining. A lot.

I looked at my husband with a WTF? and he said, he’ll be fine, we’ve got to go. Right. And off we went.

Drop off was normal. I carried him in, got his breakfast ready, big guilty hugs for being so short that morning, AGAIN. And off I went.

Fast forward to pick-up time… his teacher tells me that he’s been kind of grumpy all day. Just not his usual self, she says. I look at him with a fleeting moment of concern. Wondering if it’s teeth, an impending ear infection? She told me he did take a good nap but the rest of the day he was just off. Hmmm. Well, time will tell. And off we went.

The boys and I met family for dinner. Well, others ate dinner while I dealt with middle-man. His teacher was right, he just wasn’t himself. He was way more whiny than normal. Nothing seemed to please him. We rushed through the meal and headed for the car.

Once I had them buckled up for safety I threw my arms in the air and in a monster-ish pleading voice said, what in the world is wrong with you buddy!? He quickly pointed to his shoes.

Monter-ish voice again, your shoes hurt? Still? More nodding, pointing and his mumbled yes mama.

Alright, alright, lets just take them off then.

Shoes off, socks off. I inspect both.

You could hear my heart break from miles around. If not that then you certainly heard the moan that came from deep inside my Mother’s gut.

There, inside the shoes of my baby boy… stuffed all the way down… were socks.

A second pair of socks. Socks from another day. Socks that had been stuffed inside his shoes, crunching his sweet toes. ALL. DAY. LONG.

His toes were visibly red. Crunched. Jammed.

He just looked at me. With those great big beautiful sea-glass green eyes… He cried the whole way home. There was nothing I could say to him to make this better. I just kept repeating over and over again, I’m so sorry buddy. Mommy is so sorry.

And I cried right along with him.

Not because of the socks or because of his poor tiny toes.

I cried for the 10 seconds that morning that I didn’t listen to him! I didn’t stop and try to figure out what was hurting him. Isn’t that my JOB? It would have been such an easy fix. Instead I rushed and shooed him about. Instead I didn’t pay attention.

A moment he will never remember, one that I will never forget.

———-

Thank you for sharing this Jamie, and for being honest about how all too often we don’t listen/care/pay attention to what our kids are actually saying to us. I had a similar thing happen last week and this story hit a little too close to home. It’s a great reminder to slow down and breathe.

There’s no manual out there for what we do, so sharing stories like this helps us all learn from each other.

Now head over to Jamie’s place chosen chaos and if you are new there, make sure to tell her that I sent you!

It’s not too late for you to enter my California Wine Club FREE WINE giveaway! Enter for your chance to win now!

Comments

  1. Oh this, I love this. From the sea glass eyes all the way to the tiny toes and your huge mothering heart.

    Beautifully told. Truly.

  2. Ouch. My toes hurt just thinking about it. But if it makes you feel better, I’m sure I did the same when one of mine was younger.

  3. Poor baby. My toes hurt thinking about it too.

  4. Aw, poor baby! Don’t be too hard on yourself Jamie, these things happen to the best of us.

    Great to see you here!

  5. That moment where your heart break can be heard for miles around?

    Yup, we’ve all been there.

    And even though you wrote this post with naked honesty and you felt terrible about your (understandable) mistake….

    ….if that’s the worst you ever do as a mom, you are doing just. fine.

  6. The thing is, we try to look at every little thing. We do our best, and sometimes don’t see it all. your lil man loves you, unconditionally, that’s what matters most.

  7. How could you have known though? Seriously, don’t be too hard on yourself. I, too, would be quick to assume that he was coming down with something rather than knowing that extra socks were stuffed in his shoes. You sound like me in the mornings. Thank goodness my hub is a morning person, so he can help with that piece because I am certainly not a morning person!

    • Blech to mornings… unless I have about an hour all to myself before anyone else looks/talks/asks of me then I’m a morning monster!

  8. Yep, the guilt would have made me cry too. And that’s what makes us good parents. Or at least I like to think so.
    m.

  9. I admit I cried a little reading this, but be fair to yourself: it was cramped toes that now give you pause in the mornings. Our poor guys with non- morning people moms.

  10. Oh, honey – that’s so, so . . . parentish.

    I’ve done the same to my boy.

    It makes my heart ache.

    I don’t know you . . . but, *hug*

  11. Oh, my, Jamie! I can totally understand what you must have been feeling. There have been times I have carelessly ignored crabbiness or whining just because I thought it was my baby being grumpy when in fact something was wrong. It’s not your fault, and I hope you know that. Little guy doesn’t even remember, but I know how hard something like that cracks your heart. Thanks for sharing this story because it lets the rest of us moms know we’re not alone in our struggles to raise our children.

  12. Natalie thank you so much for letting me tell my Monster Moment here today! It makes it much less monster-ish when you say it out loud to people who’ve been there! Thank you!!

  13. Aw, don’t be too hard on yourself. I’ve had plenty of morning where I’ve been rushing around and not fully been paying attention to what’s been going on.

  14. OH man! I totally understand! I’m always running around in the morning and there are several days where I tune out what my children are saying, or misread their cues because I’m trying to get somewhere on time. It’s happened to all of us sweets!!

    Love the way your wrote this!

  15. Oh I think every mom has done this! When they can’t communicate it’s so hard to tell if they’re upset over something legit or if you maybe just gave them the wrong damn sippy cup. I so feel your pain.

  16. OH… poor Buddy! :( Jamie, don’t beat yourself up. We’ve all made mistakes like that. One time I had forgotten that I didn’t strap down Buddy’s high chair (late the night before, I had just set it on the chair after cleaning it… don’t ask me why — I don’t know) and he took a nasty spill onto the kitchen floor. Talk about feeling like one degenerate of a mom! Accidents happen though. The important thing is that we learn from them and don’t repeat it!

  17. I blame the teacher, don’t they take his shoes off for nap :) Kidding of course, we’ve all been there!

  18. Every Mom has been there! You put it best yourself, Jamie, when you said it’s a moment he’ll never remember (thankfully, right?) and you’ll never forget (but don’t beat yourself up!)– that is so true!

  19. SO! Would any of you believe that TONIGHT this same little guy came in my room way late and couldn’t stop crying… I let him climb in to snuggle and tell me what was wrong… he said “my toes hurt so much Mama” through his sobs. WHA!!!! The blog gods are playing tricks on me I think.