Last week I told you I was changing the name of Monster Mommy Moments to Mommy Moments at the Monster. I decided to change the name after people kept asking if they had to write about a horrible parenting moment…and that is not the point of MMM at all! All stories can be shared…monster moments, happy moments, funny moments, and on and on.
And today’s guest is going to prove just that. Please welcome Nicole from The Mombshelter who is going to share more than one Mommy Moment with us all! I’m not kidding or exaggerating when I say that The Mombshelter is one of the very first blogs I stumbled across when I started blogging, and I have had a HUGE bloggy crush on her and loved her blog ever since. Nicole is laugh out loud funny. And if you don’t read her blog, you are SO missing out!
Nicole is generous with the profanity (much like myself), the proud mommy of a son and daughter (who are about the same ages as Ethan and the girls), and if you want to know more, the disclaimer on her blog tells you all you need to know:
“This blog may contain the following: mommy rants, gratuitous profanity (I have a three-year-old, I need to swear somewhere dammit), references to poop, pee, snot, boogers and all kinds of horrors that find their way to my person everyday and I will probably use boob instead of breast.”
I so love her! So once again welcome Nicole! If you’re not sure what a Mommy Moment at the Monster is, head over and read all about how Mommy Moments at the Monster came to be.
Go grab a cup of coffee and a donut, ahem, I mean a low-fat muffin, or depending on the time of the day maybe some wine and chocolate, and sit back and enjoy the story!
Gah! A moment? A moment?
The time I was wearing my son in a sling shopping and he grabbed a hanger and promptly hooked it in his mouth. Damn you Old Navy for your cheap boyfriend jeans, how is one supposed to parent under such conditions.
Or the countless times I whack my kids’ heads on door jambs as I’m carrying them up to bed. In my defence they are abnormally long, I think its all the cheese they eat.
The times I’ve left a dirty diaper in rest stop parking lots. And while I think about it why the hell aren’t there ever any changing stations in the men’s washrooms! All those dirty diapers were left behind strictly on principle and I am nothing if not a woman of principle.
Or maybe the time when I was nine months pregnant and I asked my husband to help me out with some, ahem, personal landscaping and he yelled from the bathroom if I was ready for him to, ahem, landscape. Which really wasn’t much of a moment at all except that my neighbors were entertaining on their deck outside our open window. That moment had hardly anything to do with our decision to move and anyways I think that my midwife was appreciative in the long run.
All the yelling, the screaming, the throwing of bodies on the floor, and my kids can be a nightmare too.
What about the moment where my son looked out our window one wintry morning and muttered, “Shit, its snowing”. I mean snow is a problem when you have a half hour commute and that child’s hearing is a growing concern. Never mind that they think Jesus Christ is some guy who always cuts mommy off in traffic.
How hard is it to choose a moment on this wild ride we call motherhood? Most of the time its all spinny and sometimes I feel like I’m going to vomit or someone is going to vomit on me. The thing about motherhood is its all shiny lights and twinkly music as you’re walking towards it, but when you get up close you see the greasy gears and hear the loud shrieks, the constant running of motors and the smell of oil. Oil? I know I was as surprised as you.
But the twisted thing is its a crazy ride you never want to get off, even though you run the risk of of getting yelled at by a carnie or a toddler who has missed their nap.
Because everyone remembers holding sleeping newborns, the first time they heard the word ‘Mommy’, trips to the zoo, running through the park, splashing in the pool.
And those moments? Are easy to pick through at first but then things speed up and suddenly it becomes a blur of poop and diapers and time outs and poop and tantrums and messes and poop and juice stains and poop. Because for every cuddley, smiley, giggley moment there is a poop. Its the risk you take when you get on the ride. When you decide that you are indeed tall enough and you buckle up, hold your breath, mostly because it smells like poop, and away you go. Caught in the moment.
I couldn’t have said it better myself, Nicole…not even close. Thank you for sharing your Mommy Moment at the Monster with us…and for reminding us to enjoy the ride. The poop will be missed someday…or something like that 😉
Now go swing by The Mombshelter and say hello to Nicole, and if you’re new there make sure to tell her that I sent you. I know you’ll really enjoy her blog!
Also…I’m guest posting over at This Blogger Makes Fun of Stuff with a post about a ridiculous product I received to review. Ridiculous, people!