Mommy Moment – Ashley Style

That’s right! It’s time for another Mommy Moment at the Monster! If you’re not sure what a Mommy Moment at the Monster is, head over and read all about how Mommy Moments at the Monster came to be.

So let’s welcome Ashley from My Front Porch Swing! Ashley is a mommy of two and a friend whom I adore. We actually started our social media venture Fourtini together with our two other partners-in-crime, and of course, we also are in kahootz on Have Wine, Will Drink, too. In other words, we are very good friends and talk via Skype and Twitter all day, every day. I pink-puffy-heart love her! Not only all of that, but she is amazing when it comes to the tech side of blogging, and knows how to do just about everything. She also writes over at Business2Blogger. She is BUSY!

Go grab a cup of coffee and a donut, ahem, I mean a low-fat muffin, or depending on the time of the day maybe some wine and chocolate, and sit back and enjoy the story!

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Do you have that mom in your child’s classroom or on his/her team? The one who looks completely together, 100% of the time? She is early for everything, always has fresh-baked treats and is never flustered? Yeah, me too.

It’s not me. It’s so not me.

Instead, I have found myself in some serious monster mommy moments. Trying to balance life’s craziness as of late with a kindergartner and a 2 year old, I have lately found myself so short on this patient concept that I have made some serious mom fails lately. The biggest one? Making my son feel as though I didn’t care what he had to say.

As mothers, it is our responsibility and privilege to raise our children, to set an example for them. We make many mistakes among the way, and normally I am a huge proponent of not beating ourselves up over things. We can only do so much. We work hard to be the solid foundation for our families, to help teach our children while maintaining a household and preparing meals. We strive to balance the time needed to be a wife, to be a mom, to be ourselves. become. Because of this, mistakes are made, hindsight often leaving us in clouds of guilt and second-guessing. Mom guilt is something so strong and powerful that it can shake even the best mother down to her core over the simplest of things.

But I told my child to just stop talking. My son, brimming with energy and excitement over every new discovery he makes, chattering away about his learning at school, anxious to share news with his mom. I have a million and one excuses- I was tired, exhausted from lack of sleep and an incredibly miserable teething toddler. I was stressed out by recent discoveries of some life events, and he had not stopped talking for somewhere in the area of at least a half an hour. But none of these excuses measure up to the giant mom fail I had committed in taking away his excitement for his day.

To compound my monster mommy status? After I crushed my child’s excitement for the day, I tried to apologize and focus some attention on him. At which point my toddler decided she had to be in the middle of everything. So then, I snapped at her. I found myself sitting in a playroom filled with toys with a crying toddler, and upset five year old, and feeling completely defeated.

Monster mommy status complete. At that point, I guiltily told them they could play Wii and gave them a cookie. Yep, completely bribed them. (I have to admit, it worked).

What do you resort to in times of utter lost patience? Am I the only one who turns to bribes?

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Thank you for sharing these moments Ashley, and for being honest about had patience-testing motherhood can be. It’s really hard to balance all the work, and the kids, and the house and everything else we have to deal with…while remaining cool all the while. And I bet 99% of the moms that read this would agree.

By you sharing your thoughts on mommyhood with us, you are reminding us all that it’s a hard job, it’s challenging, and our patience is tested daily…and more often than not, hourly!

There’s no manual out there for what we do, so sharing stories like this helps us all learn from each other.

Now head over to Ashley’s place My Front Porch Swing and if you are new there, make sure to tell her that I sent you!

Comments

  1. I don't even have kids but get mom guilt! Probably why I bought my nieces 2 large bouncy houses ... One that does need to be returned!
  2. We all have those moments, don't we? I always make sure to apologize, then take a deep breath, and do something silly. Silly obstacle course usually change the mood pretty fast!
  3. It's great when they gang up on you all at once like that, isn't it? Sometimes cookie bribery is just the only thing that works.
  4. I've been there too! My three year old talks non-stop and I've caught myself many, many times saying shhh mommy needs some quiet.
  5. Oh Ashley, I can relate. Today, we are in nap purgatory, where everyone needs to nap and no one will. We are watching Dinosaur Train on the couch, because everything else invokes a meltdown. And soon it will be MY meltdown :(
  6. I love your honesty and transparency and oh my- your relatability! You're so not alone here!!
    • It can feel like you're the only one who would do this at the time though, you know? Even if logic tells you better. Thanks for your comment!!
  7. I get this. I sooooo get this. And yes, I bribe. Often!
  8. I once told my daughter to shut up when she was a baby. She just kept crying and crying and crying as I was trying to put her in her car seat and I was already late for work and I just snapped and said, "Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Who tells an innocent baby to shut up? Well, I'm guessing all of us at some point or another. In other words, you're only human. :)
  9. I have resorted to extra bribes for sure, playing trains, reading extra books past bed time and watching an extra 30 minutes of tv. Because we definitely are only human.
  10. Sigh. I so know these feelings. And these moments happen to us all. Thank you for sharing!
  11. I've really struggled with Kindergarten plus a 2-year-old, too. I feel like I'm running from one school to the other, handling a constant flow of forms to fill out, money to send in, homework to review, special dress-up days to prepare for... It does wear on you. My advice, which I admittedly struggle to take for myself, is to give yourself grace. This is a time of transition, and eventually we will begin to figure out how it's all going to work (it IS all going to work eventually, right?!?). And yes, I bribe occasionally. Cookies are magic.
    • This balance of ages is an interesting one. They are both so young still, but yet in completely different stages. It's unique, for sure. Thank you for your advice. I need to repeat it like a mantra :) Hugs to you my friend.
  12. Ughh I so despise that mommy guilt. I have had it quite a bit lately.
  13. As far as I'm concerned...bribery is just one of those tools us moms have to pull out of our tool box here and there.
  14. Its more bargaining, bartering ... not bribery ;) Cut yourself some slack Mama, you are all caps AWESOME
  15. Jamie @ImNoMrsCleaver says:
    I, today as a matter of fact, I locked the baby gate upstairs in the playroom with a movie on, gave them both snacks, and ran down stairs to cradle myself in the fetal position:) Well, not exactly, but I did lay on the couch with my arms over my head to just get a break and get my blood pressure down. Mommy just needs a couple minutes with NO talking or crying, as it is frowned upon if I drink wine at 10:30 in the morning!!
  16. Hate when I lose my patience and snap at my kids but they always forgive us much quicker than we forgive ourselves.
  17. I have done this and probably missed out on some wonderful ideas!
  18. I lose my patience with my kids way too often. And yes, I then bribe mine.
  19. My oldest is 7 and she never seems to stop talking. I occasionally snap at her because I just can't take it any more. Sometimes we need quiet.
  20. My next step this evening was truly going to be fetal position w/headphones on, so thank you for returning my sanity by reminding me that I am not alone in this monster mommy world. I have two monsters {a 3 1/2 year old and a 20 month old} and we are currently going through the fantastic combo of bedtime hell, the "no" phase and a pinch of the "i don't know the word for that yet so instead of showing you what I want, I am going to throw myself on the ground and scream 'til you figure it out." Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing!