You are not going to believe this. My mom dumped us. She told us that she was going to go away for a little bit, and she’s been gone FOREVER. I’m not sure if she’s ever coming back or not, and I’m not happy about it. Why would she want to leave us?
What I want to know is where is she? Why couldn’t we go with her? I don’t understand why she would want to leave us, either…we always want to be with her! Tater seems to be having fun though. But I miss her.
Lila: Can you believe she is even making us do work for her? Her friend Dana at 18 Years To Life is hosting some party thing and she wanted my mom to tell you stuff she says to us that she can’t believe she really says.
Mia: Stuff like “Do you want a spanking?” Why would I ever want to get spanked?
Lila: Or “I’m not telling you again.” But then she always does.
Mia: Oh, and she says “ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?” and “I am SO done with you guys”.
Lila: She asks me a lot “Did you poop again?” She also says this one a lot: “Mia! Do NOT pull Lila’s hair or I’m going to pull yours!”
Mia: And she tells me “We don’t eat food in the bathroom” and “Don’t put your cup in the toilet”.
Lila: And she always tells us “DO NOT eat the dog food!” And snails. She says “What’s on your face? You guys better not be eating snails!”
Mia: Oh, and “Please keep your fingers off of your pee pee”.
Lila: And what about this one “You guys are driving me to drink”.
Mia: And she always says she understands why her daddy used to always say “Can’t you just go outside and play or go play on the freeway or something?”
Lila: She says a bunch of other ones, but those are the only ones we can think of right now. Anyways The Empress wants to know what the naughtiest thing we did all week was.
Mia: That’s easy! Mommy gave us those yummy cookies that taste like cake and they have the blue frosting and sprinkles all over them. She made us sit at the table to eat it so we wouldn’t make a mess. But we did make a mess…a big one! She was washing the dishes and not paying attention to us because we were so happy we got cookies.
Lila: At first we were just eating it but then Mia started mushing it up in her hands and they were all blue so she started shaking them all over the place and the cookie went everywhere! Then I copied her, but I got an itch behind my ear and got it in my hair.
Mia: So then I put it in my hair. And then there were crumbs all over the table so I tried to put them all on the floor so she wouldn’t see the mess.
Lila: But when she finally checked on us, she was mad! She was so mad that she didn’t even yell!
Mia: Yeah, she just said “Okay Ladies. No more cookies for you.” But she will give us another cookie, won’t she?
Lila and Mia: I don’t know…let’s go ask Tater if he can reach them. See you all later!