It’s a fact: I have decided that I need to figure out a way to freeze time so that I can literally stop my kids from growing up. Remember last week when I told you I would do anything to spend one more afternoon at the park with my babies? Well now I just want to make them stop growing all together.
When Ethan was in kindergarten, I would walk him up to the gate every afternoon and say goodbye. I would watch him until he started walking to his class and I was so excited that he was finally away from the house for a few hours! It sounds bad, but most moms with kids that age (and two smaller ones!) probably understand what I mean.
We would get to that gate, and he would hug me and kiss me and tell me how much he loved me and never wanted to leave me. And it was pretty much the same thing in first grade. And I guess at the beginning of second grade, too.
Somewhere during the first and second trimesters of second grade (with the exception of the love note I wrote him), he decided that hugging and kissing and telling me that he loved me was not very cool. I would drop him off in “The Circle” (he did NOT want me walking him to the gate!), he would get out of the car, and I would say “OK! Have a great day! I love you buddy.” and he would look at me, scowl, and walk away. It really hurt me!
That was enough. ENOUGH. I wanted to stop my kids from growing up anymore. RIGHT.THEN.AND.THERE.
One night, I finally broke down and asked him to tell me why he wouldn’t say “I love you” to me when I dropped him off. He said it was embarrassing and that he didn’t want anybody to make fun of him. I told him that I understood, and that I wouldn’t do it anymore. It killed me.
The next morning, I dropped him off and told him to have a great day. I didn’t say anything else, but I did blow him a kiss. He gave me the scowl, and closed the door.
But then something wonderful happened.
He turned back around and looked at me and mouthed “I love you”. He may or may not have surveyed the scene before saying it to make sure that none of his friends were around, but I was ecstatic!
And every morning since then when I drop him off, I say the same thing, and he shuts the door. And then turns back around to tell me that he loves me.
It’s official…he can stop growing right now. I can’t imagine loving that kid anymore than I already do, but every day makes me love him more and more. I don’t want those teenage years to come. At all.