Myth: If you just relax, you will get pregnant.
How long have you been trying?
Just quit thinking about it and you’ll get pregnant
Trying is the fun part!
It always happens when you least expect it
Go on vacation
Try charting your temperature
Have you tried putting your legs straight up against the wall after sex? It worked for my daughter/sister/daughter in law/friend/friend of a friend of a friend/husband’s-brother’s-ex wife’s-uncle’s-daughter
Quit worrying about it and it will happen
Oh! I was so fertile that I’d just think about sex and get pregnant!
How old are you? You’ve still got time…
Well, your life just isn’t complete until you have a baby together
It will happen sooner or later
It will happen when the time is right
Maybe it’s just not meant to be
Have you tried going to the chiropractor?
Are you infertile? Is your husband?
You need to pray
Have you thought about adoption?
Maybe you should see a doctor…
Yep, these are all things that people say to you after they ask why you don’t have kids. OR when you are planning on having kids. OR when you are planning on having another kid. OR if you are even planning to have kids.
Strangers, friends and family, whether they realize it or not, can be very nosy, rude, thoughtless, and insensitive when they think they are being helpful. If you’ve ever dealt with any type of fertility issues, you know what I mean.
If you are one of the lucky couples that was blessed enough to have a baby without ever trying or after only a few months of trying, congratulations! It’s such a beautiful gift, and one that I coveted for a very long time.
This week is National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW), and it’s a very important week in my life. I started blogging in March 2010, and first shared my struggles with infertility during last year’s NIAW. You can read about my unexplained infertility in these posts: We Just Don’t Do It Right – Part 1 and We Just Don’t Do It Right – Part II.
This year, I chose to join the RESOLVE (National Infertility Association) challenge of busting a myth about infertility. I chose to bust the myth “If you relax, you will get pregnant”.
It is NOT as easy as “just relaxing”…it is much more complicated than that. Did you know that infertility is a disease? It affects 1 in 8 couples of reproductive age. Some cases, like mine, have no explainable cause for not being able to get pregnant.
The fact is, the vast majority of individuals who have infertility have a medical reason, not a stress-related one. Upwards of 90% of all infertility cases are caused by physical problems. Research does show that infertility patients who learn and practice a wide variety of stress reduction techniques can have higher pregnancy rates than patients who don’t learn those techniques…you must get a proper diagnosis of what the physical problem is!
Although we were unable to conceive on our own, Jason and I were extremely lucky for two reasons: we could actually afford the treatments and the treatments worked for us successfully. Both of my pregnancies happened after fertility treatments. We were also lucky that in both cases, we got pregnant on the first try.
Some people are not so lucky. Some cannot afford treatments, some don’t seek help when they realize there is a problem, some people try many different treatments and have no success with any of them.
One of the reasons I support NIAW is because I wish I would’ve known about this week and the RESOLVE organization when we realized we were having problems getting pregnant. I felt so alone and misunderstood: my mom, aunts, and sisters were all “Fertile Myrtles” and couldn’t understand the pain and emotions that I felt.I didn’t know anybody else who was going through what I was going through.
NIAW helps reduce the stigma of infertility by bringing attention to the details, issues and costs surrounding all the ways people diagnosed with infertility can build a family.
You can visit the RESOLVE website to get a general understanding of infertility as well as help, support, and more information on infertility diagnosis, treatments, and more.
We need to talk about this and raise awareness about infertility! The more you know, the more you understand it and can offer help and support to those going through it.
If you have or are currently experiencing struggles with infertility (even if you are supporting somebody close to you that is going through it), please help me spread the word by tweeting about this post…you can use the hashtag #Bustamyth. The more people that read it the better!