The whining. Oh, the incessant, non-stop whining. It is
slowly quickly killing me.
All three of my kids have developed the lovely habit of whining instead of talking to me. Honestly, they whine more than they speak. I have come to hate the sing-songy, cry-like words that come out of their mouths. If they want something, they whine. If they don’t get their way, they whine. If they are tired, they whine. If they are hungry, they whine. They whine to communicate. They whine and repeat over and over what they are whining about. They.Just.Whine.
All of this makes me want to wine.
I have even caught myself whining back at them, but not in a good way. It’s like I’m developing the habit too.
It’s gotten to the point where I am wondering whether my decision to go off of my anti-depression medication was a bad idea – if I can’t handle being a mom without it.
It has gotten to the point where I feel like I’m just a terrible mom. Like I’m not cut out for this job. Like I’m not good at it.
It’s gotten so bad that I lost it the other day. After a morning full of “no” and “please stop whining” and “please use your words” and “please be quiet” and “JUST STOP” and “I am soooo done” and “you guys are driving me crazy”, I finally lost it. While having to clean up one mess they made by eating on the couch even though I specifically told them not to (this occurred when I went upstairs to do more camping laundry), they decided to dump water all over the kitchen table and spread their lunch on top of it. They decided to do that little number while they were whining because I wouldn’t give them a treat.
And I just lost it.
I started crying uncontrollably. I just couldn’t take anymore. I hit my limit. And I stood there crying, watching them watch me. They were all so quiet, with wide-O mouths and eyes to match. It was the quietest they had been all day.
I walked into the bathroom and locked the door, and I could hear Ethan whispering to them. I don’t know what he said, but once I got control of myself and cleaned myself up, I walked out of the bathroom they all apologized.
I tried to explain why I was so upset – how their whining and not listening and bickering hurt my feelings. I thought they got it.
But within 5 minutes the whining had already started up again.
The next day, I needed to talk to a friend, so I called Nichole from in these small moments. Gratefully, she answered and we had a nice chat. I know she has little ones close in age too, and she assured me she understood completely and mentioned some things that helped her deal with the whining. She reached out to another blogger, Melissa at Confessions of a Dr. Mom, and ended up writing an article full of Melissa’s advice (Winning Against Whining…easy tips and worth the read!) Just knowing that someone else was dealing with the same thing made me feel better.
Last night, while getting ready to go to my weekly bowling league, the whining was so bad I went upstairs to take some prescription ibuprofen to deal with my headache and major neck cramps (where I hold all my stress). Inadvertently, I took two Somas instead of ibuprofen. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I didn’t feel right – I felt loopy and tired and drunk. I went back upstairs to make sure I had just taken ibuprofen, only to realize that I took twice the dose of major pain medication.
The stress of the whining is getting to me. I could have seriously hurt myself. I need something to change.
I asked friends on Facebook about how they deal with whining and got the typical funny responses like “Benadryl” and “duct tape”. I got some serious ones too, and I’m willing to try them all. So far, they are not working any better than me screaming at the top of my lungs.
I guess what I really need reassurance about is whether or not this constant whining is normal. Do all kids do this? Is it something I’m doing (or not doing) that’s making it so bad? Am I a bad mom?
I’m kind of asking these questions rhetorically, but you know that misery loves company. Knowing I’m not the only mom who feels this way would actually make me feel better about the situation. And of course, if you have any suggestions on how to deal with the whining, I’d love to hear them!
And send wine. I could use that, too. Or maybe I’ll just make my Banana Icebox Cake recipe and eat the whole thing.