Hey Girls: GO THE F*CK TO SLEEP!

You guys…I’m at a loss. I told you recently that my girls have decided that they no longer need to take naps. And that they have decided that they want to sleep in our bed when they do take a nap. Well now, over the last two weeks or so, they’ve decided that they no longer want to sleep in their beds. At all. They refuse. They either want to be in our bed, on the couch, or they want me in their room, on the floor with the both of them.

Lila and Ethan in our bed…doesn’t leave much room for me or Jason, does it?

Mia on the couch. At 11 PM she FINALLY fell asleep

I’ve been up until 11 PM for the last four nights in a row fighting with them to go to sleep. Seriously, it’s like the new mantra that plays over and over in my head at nap and bedtime. Go to sleep. I’m actually dreading nap and bed time while I used to look forward to it.

My girls have always been good sleepers. They slept the night through at just a couple of months old, they’d run to their beds jump in and sleep up until a month or so ago. I don’t know how or why it happened, but I don’t know how to fix it.

I’m tired.

I’m grouchy.

I want to scream at my kids to go to sleep. In fact, I think it might have actually been said a time or two.

How do I handle this? What do I do? Threats don’t work. Screaming doesn’t work. Ignoring doesn’t either. Begging, pleading, crying…they laugh. It’s like they are refusing to sleep unless it’s with me.

Have you heard of the book Go the F**k to Sleep? I’m living this right now.

HELP!!!!!

Comments

  1. I’ve found begging and screaming don’t work here either. What has worked for me is just calmly walking them back into their room and putting them back in their beds without ANY eye contact or spoken words whatsoever. I refuse to acknowledge them in any way. After a while they get bored and/or give up.

    Also, I’ve had to move my 4yo’s nap to much later in the day. He now takes an hour nap about 4 hrs before bedtime, usually right before dinner. And as long as I don’t let him sleep too long he will still go to bed on time later.

    You COULD try getting them up early, skipping a nap, and wearing their asses out one day to reestablish an easy bedtime. I wouldn’t try to tackle both nap and bedtime at once though. I’d get one back into a good routine and then focus on the other.

    Good luck!

  2. Oh, my have I been there! I forget how old your girls are but this is what I did with my resistant sleeper…
    I explained to my son (4 at the time?) that everyone needs sleep and how important it is for him, and us. I told him, he must go to sleep in his bed after night routine. If he did wake up and not able to go back to sleep, he’s welcome to come in our room and sleep on the floor next to our bed. We made a little makeshift sleep area with blankets and pillow. But, he was not to wake us up! Plus, for every night he went to bed without getting out and without much fuss, he would get a sticker. After 5 stickers (# is up to you), he could pick out a prize. It worked. We only found him on our floor a couple of times and then he stayed in his bed. Nap time is a bit trickier but I set a timer for “quiet time”, whether or not he fell asleep was up to him but at least we both got some down time. That’s pretty much it in a nutshell but of course things constantly change and we have to roll with it. But one thing is for sure…we parents need our sleep too and I have said that in my head on more than one occasion. I hope this helps a little…good luck Natalie!
    Melissa recently posted..When the tooth fairy forgets, moms uniteMy Profile

    • That’s what we’ve done too, except it was fruit snacks (basically, whatever little bribe works, use it!). We let our kids know that sleep is important to everyone, and when they didn’t respect our sleep (woke us a bunch at night) we’d all have to “take a nap” which meant extra quiet time for them in the day outside the normal naptime routine.
      Laurie @mylivingpower recently posted..Parenting With The End Game In Mind (Video Post)My Profile

  3. Ugh I know this must be frustrating! And I bet you’re exhausted :( I do however love the story read by Samuel Jackson LOL!
    Natalie recently posted..Wordless Wednesday-Now Mom….My Profile

  4. Oh Natalie, this sucks big time! And to go from being good sleepers to this? Ugh! Hope you find your groove again soon…
    Sherri recently posted..Being Grateful and WarmMy Profile

  5. What are their consequences if they don’t go to bed within a reasonable amount of time? Or, what are their rewards if they do?

    My niece was a terrible sleeper when she was little. She hated the light being off. But, would procrastinate going to sleep. Eventually, my brother and his wife got smart and started setting a timer for 20 minutes. If she wasn’t sleeping within that 20 minutes, the light went off and she was forced to, no matter the amount of screaming or crying, go to sleep on her own, with the light off (of course they had a night light). That’s not the same as your situation, but it’s just an example of a reasonable consequence of not going to sleep at a reasonable time. As I understand it, you have two issues…one being the location of where they sleep, and two, the timing of them actually going to sleep.

    Best of luck!
    Kmama recently posted..Proud Mommy Moments: Brave BusterMy Profile

  6. We went through several one-month periods of my twins fighting naps. Sometimes we changed something (added or removed night lights, put them in separate rooms, changed the sleeping start time) and sometimes they just stopped fighting it without us changing things. We kept them napping until shortly after their fifth birthday. I wish you good luck!

  7. Call Super Nanny.

    If it was me, I’d have get my toolbox of of the garage and stick a few hooks on the wall …

    pack them in sleeping bags …

    and hane ’em up!
    Symdaddy recently posted..The Gas RegulatorMy Profile

  8. I meant ‘hang’!
    Symdaddy recently posted..The Gas RegulatorMy Profile

  9. Oh this is SO my life. I swear that it is a multiple thing. It’s like life is too exciting when your best friend is with you 24/7 so why sleep? We did the same, went from the best sleepers 7p-7a and a good nap to late nights and no naps. I wish there was some magic answer but a lot of it I think is just ages and phases they go through. Mine are finally over the novelty of getting in and out of bed ten million times and will go to bed easily again but seems like every night, at least one of them is in bed by morning. Hang in there. Did you end up separating their rooms or are they still together?
    Jessica recently posted..The Bachelor: Blogger EditionMy Profile

  10. So. My girlfriend did this, and if I ever needed to, was going to employ the method.

    Flip the lock on the door {so that you lock from the outside}. I know it sounds awful, but we know they need the sleep. We know we need the sleep. It worked. I wish I could help you more.

  11. No advice, just sympathy. Mine will go to sleep, but the staying asleep is another matter. And D ends up in our room almost every night because eventually I’m too tired to do anything else. And there’s only one of him and one four year old.

  12. Me and my big mouth. Last week when you posted about this I told you that my alost 4 year old has never crawled out of her crib. Well the universe punished me for that comment and on Monday morning I found her in her sister’s crib. The good life is over for me. Beginning next week I’ll have my girls out of thier cribs and in bunk beds. If I learn anything useful, I’ll let you know.

    My mom locked me in my room so I wouldn’t get out of my room anymore. She swears that it wasn’t as mean as it sounds since my sleeping in her bed was killing her.
    Twingle Mommy recently posted..Life as Seen Through Molly’s 2 Year Old’s EyesMy Profile

  13. Ugg. I know it. I’m at the point right now where Natalie (who is not a toddler anymore) is awake at least an hour after I put her in bed LATE and comes out 14 times to tell me stuff.
    Ali recently posted..WTF Wednesday – The "Why That’s Fabulous!" EditionMy Profile

  14. Well, I’m certainly no help because none of my kids nap anymore and when it comes to bedtime, either Tim or me needs to stay in the room with them until they’re all asleep.

    And Tim has been banished to the living room couch because he snores so violently…so now the kids come and join him in the middle of the night. On the small sofa, in the living room.

    All I can say is you have my sympathy. I have no clue how to deal with it either!

  15. Wow! Can tell you’re tired. I would suggest sticking to a routine. Jammies. Brush teeth. Read a story and then bed. Keep the same routine every night. (If you can.)

    Another suggestion is what we called the ‘Dream time fairy’. I would lay in bed with my son(s) or daughter and make up a story with them as the main character. We’d go on all sorts of adventures but they can’t or won’t continue until the child goes to sleep. Hence, the dream time fairy enters …

    There were many nights my daughter swam with ‘Ariel’ under the sea. (LoL)

    Good luck. Thinking of you.
    Cindi recently posted..Tears in HeavenMy Profile

  16. I wish I had any advice to give you . . . when I’m home alone with the kids, it’s something so novel that the kids refuse to nap. If they even think about napping, they’ll start to do their sleepy song and then “ooh, it’s daddy, he needs to be climbed” and then someone poops (because we all know that poop is the secret to the toddler second wind) and everyone is awake again.

    For awhile, we were trying to put the kids down in their own beds . . . but we’ve given up on that. Simply, we were taking anywhere between 30 & 120 minutes, and were only partially successful. So, now, we lie down with the kids in bed, watch Sesame Street, read stories, sing songs, and then turn out the lights. If I’m lucky, I’m still awake when we do the very careful move from our bed over to the kids’ beds.
    John recently posted..Where I reveal my peanut butter bread recipeMy Profile

  17. I dont know if this has been mentioned but hadn’t you thought about those things that light stars up on the ceiling?

    I never have had probs with my boys and bedtime, my mom got them these “star machines” from a catalog, I will find out exactly where if you are interested and the boys love them!
    Erin recently posted..Stick a fork in meMy Profile

  18. That’s quite the interesting sleeping position! I remember when my kids were ready to give up their naps (as much I didn’t want it to happen!) it was a rough couple of weeks. They weren’t getting to sleep in the nighttime if they did nap, and they were cranky supper time if they didn’t. After a few weeks of cranky suppers they finally seemed to get used to the new schedule and all was back to normal. Good luck with whatever happens!
    Andrea @ The Penny-Roach’s recently posted..SistersMy Profile

  19. I’m in a similar boat sister so I’m just here for support….and seeing if there are any great ideas.
    Mad won’t stay in her bed, usually getting up between 2 and 5 to “be with Mommy.” Lucky me. And lets not talk about The Dude’s sleep patterns.

  20. Been there done that and I am sure it will happen again. I have been known to sit outside the door holding the door shut while reading a book so that he could not get out of his room. Many times once it was quiet I would peek in and he would be asleep on the floor right beside the door. It’s tough and you are not alone. HUGS
    Nolie recently posted..Hilarious things Tobei saysMy Profile

  21. We have been battling the same thing w our 2 yo. She is a night owl and I swear to God wakes up at 8pm. It’s been hell. And my 4yo was getting up several nights and coming in our bed. Hell. I had to stop the 4yo naps (shoot me) and have to be really careful about getting 2yo up from her naps before too long. She will sleep 3+ hrs if I let her!!!
    I feel you, girl, I feel you. Hang in there. I find wine is helpful. šŸ˜‰

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