Funny Things Only Parents Say

If you really think about it, as parents we say some pretty funny things that people who don’t have kids would think just sound crazy. We utter words that they would never in a million years say. Things that don’t even make sense to people without kids. So I present to you my list of funny things only parents say. I actually said each and every one of these things over the last week. And some of these things wouldn’t even make sense to non-parents. But to those of you with kids, I’ll bet you’ll get a kick out of this. I’m leaving names out to protect the innocent.

Funny Things Only Parents Say
Yes, I actually said each of these things this past week

  • Don’t eat the mermaid.
  • Quit pulling on your sister’s undies.
  • If you want to eat dinner, you have to at least put on underwear.
  • Yes you have to wear underwear to school.
  • No you can’t wear your brother’s underwear to school.
  • Quit picking your nose.
  • Don’t wipe boogers on the walls/carpet/blankets/each other.
  • Keep your fingers out of your (insert body part here).
  • Did you pee in your closet? Why does it smell like pee in here? Did you hide underwear you peed in somewhere in here?
  • No you can’t see what the chicken tastes like before I cook it.
  • Cleaning your room doesn’t mean to just shove everything under the bed.
  • No, P.E. doesn’t stand for ‘pointless exercise’.
  • No, School doesn’t stand for ‘six-crappy-hours-of-our-lives’.
  • Please don’t color on the dog.
  • That yucky smell is dinner.
  • Yes what I do on the computer really is work even though I don’t go to work to do it.

To people without kids, these statements sound like crazy talk, but to all of you parents out there, this is day-in-day-out conversation! What are some of the funny things that you say or have said to your kids that would make non-parents think you are crazy? I’d love to create a second list of Funny Things Only Parents Say including all of your funnies!

Funny things only parents say: To people without kids, these statements sound like crazy talk, but to all of you parents out there, this is day-in-day-out conversation!

This also reminds me of an old meme I used to do called You Know You’re a Mom When-sdays. Maybe it’s time to revive it!


  1. 1) Please don't eat the stickers 2) Money is not food 3) Would you like to use the potty in the back of the car? Ashley@ Its Fitting recently posted..Finding Time | Family Friendly Hikes in the North BayMy Profile
  2. The oddest I've said, still, is "we don't wear our sister's shoe on our penis". Though it's been a few years since I've had to say it. John (Daddy Runs a Lot) recently posted..Where I think on confidenceMy Profile
  3. Ha ha! Love these!! *please don't lick your sister *is that poop or chocolate? *Don't eat it in case it is poop *do not put the booger in your sandwich I am sure I could come up with 100 more!
  4. These are great! Gave me a good laugh and reminded me of all the funny things kids do and say at my preschool! Thanks for posting!
  5. These are great :D :D :D العاب نت recently posted..لعبة نينجا بن تنMy Profile