Friendship: Reason, Season, or Lifetime

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Unknown

Sometimes friendships have ended because of something I’ve said or done. Sometimes friendships have ended, and are then resurrected. I’ve had friendships end amicably, badly, because we just grew apart, and unfortunately, a couple because of a death.

Friendships, no matter what the circumstances are for why they end, are always hard to say goodbye to. People that were important to you in the past, always hold a place in your heart.

On Thursday, I will be attending the funeral of a friend of mine, Jason. Jason was a friend for a season – we went to high school together and became very good friends. He was there to hang out, kept my secrets, was there to keep me company when my boyfriends were being jerks, and to take me to Angels baseball games in the summer. At the time, I couldn’t imagine not talking to him everyday. He liked me for who I was, and never, ever tried to be anything more than my friend.

Time goes on, people change, relationships change. After high school, though nothing ever happened between us, we just grew apart. I had a boyfriend, went to community college and worked. He went to college, eye on the goal of getting his degree. We said we’d stay in touch…we tried. But life goes on.

Through the years, I’ve kept up with what’s going on in his life through friends, we were friends on Facebook, and commented on pictures of each other’s kids. Though no longer friends in the everyday sense, and we hadn’t been since high school, he was still important to me a lifetime ago and I never considered him not a friend.

Last week, he was struck by another car and killed. He was 37. He leaves behind 3 young daughters and a wife. He was a good person. He also leaves behind many friends, and though I haven’t talked to him or seen him in years, I will miss him.

These are the times when you tell yourself not to take people who are important to you for granted. To call an old friend out of the blue to say hello. To make time to see a friend that you always tell “let’s get together soon”. These are the times when you hug your children a little tighter, and kiss your spouse a little longer. These are the times when you remind yourself how precious life is and how it can be gone in the blink of an eye.

The fact that I haven’t talked to him in years does not make my grief any less real. It doesn’t hurt any less. The season of our friendship and his life has passed, but the memories will never be forgotten.

You will be missed, Jason.

Comments

  1. Heartbreaking :( I’ve also lost friends whom I was no longer close with, and mourned as if I talked to them the day before. I’m sorry for your loss. May he rest in peace and may his family find peace as well.

  2. My heart is breaking. That is just so, so devastating. I am so sorry you lost your friend and that he was lost by so many that loved him, including his three children and wife. I am 36. My husband is 36. We will soon be 37. I can’t imagine leaving life now. Thank you for sharing Jason with us.

  3. I’m so sorry for your loss. This is a stunning tribute to your friend, and an excellent reminder to be fully present- always.

  4. So sorry to hear that. Lovely tribute. Hugs to you!

  5. I’m glad to be your friend this season. And I’m sorry you’re hurting.

  6. We always think that we have more time .. another day, another moment.
    But living in this moment is what matters, and the people that made up all those others moments – they are the people that helped shape the you that you are today … and the moments spent with them, will always be with you!

  7. I’m so sorry for your loss. Your tribute to Jason was lovely. I also sadly know what it’s like to lose a friend to death. It’s been twenty years ago this month that I lost my best friend to a childhood cancer. I still miss her everyday, but like you said, the memories are never forgotten.
    Sending hugs.

  8. I really appreciate your post. Life is so vulnerable, and I find it very comforting to think of people who are no longer with us physically as still being very much alive within those they’ve left behind. The human spirit is amazing, and we can all help to keep it in our memories and hearts for Jason’s family and others.

  9. I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. Such a tragedy and a beautiful post. Sending you lots of hugs.

  10. Thank you so much for sharing this. It is a powerful reminder of just how fragile life can be. I, too, lost a childhood/high school friend this year. Blessings to you and yours.

  11. I’m sorry about your friend. I think friends are always a part of us, even when you go separate ways.

  12. I am so sorry for your loss, Natalie. Death of a friend–no matter how long it’s been since you last talked–is so very hard.

    You are in my heart.

  13. I am so sorry for your loss Natalie. We’ll be thinking of and praying for everyone who loved or once loved Jason.

  14. :(

    I get it. I too have lost friends tragically, and regardless of how frequently you interacted in the here and now, there is still a void when they’re gone. My thoughts are with you.

  15. I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend.

    I totally understand where you’re coming from. No matter how much time has passed since your last conversation or the last time you saw him, it still hurts very much. I think what hurts the most, in cases like this, is that it’s a permanent loss.

  16. I hope today goes ok for you. I mean, as ok as possible. To think of his family, just heart breaking. Your thoughts on keeping in touch, picking up the phone to call some one. So true. So very true. Life is short.

  17. Oh Natalie, I’m so sorry. Losing a friend is never easy, even in the best of circumstances. I’m so sorry for your loss.

  18. I love that poem and it is very true. I am so sorry for loss. xoxo

  19. I’m so sorry for your loss. xo

  20. Natalie, I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s inexplicable losing someone so suddenly and unexpectedly. My heart goes out to you. We recently lost a friend that we had grown apart from, even though my husband worked with him until recently. It was such a shock. I’ll be thinking of you and your family.

  21. I’m so sorry for your loss. My prayers will be with his family, especially his wife and children.

  22. Jason would have liked liked this.