For Sale: The Business

For Sale: The Business

See this little face? That’s The Business. What started out as a fun way to entertain family and friends, has turned into our daughter using it to spread fear and intimidation. She is the master of The Business, and she’s not afraid to use it. She really means business.

“Lila! Give Daddy The Business!” She stops whatever she is doing – laughing, eating, crying – and turns and gives us the look.

“Natalie! Make Lila do The Business”…it was like a parlor trick and people loved to see it, and I loved to show it to them.

Until she realized the power of The Business. Now, I will say to her “Lila, quit hitting your sister”, and in response I will get The Business.

“Lila, you do not smear your food all over the table and throw it on the floor.” Again, I get The Business.

“Lila, do you want a time out?”, and I get a very stern “NO” and The Business.

She’s even taught her sister how to use The Business. Though not nearly as savvy with The Business as Lila, Mia really tries…unfortunately for her, when she gives The Business she also smiles.

The Business is a dangerous tool, and should not be used by amateurs. It’s also not for the faint of heart.

Serious buyers only. Please submit your best offer. Interested parties may request a video recording of The Business to see if they can handle it.

I’m also open to leasing/timesharing opportunities. Please inquire if interested.

I wrote this prompt for the Red Writing Hood. The prompt: Write a piece – 600 word limit – Imagine you’ve just had a fight with a friend, a co-worker, husband, significant other, child – you get the picture. You’re mad. It’s time for revenge. What would you sell? Write a humorous listing for eBay or Craig’s List. Talk about the history of the items, why they must go.

Comments

  1. wow!! she means business!! that's so funny!! probably not when you're trying to discipline, lol…but still….from this chair, funny! 😀

  2. By Word of Mouth Musings says:

    Oh dear, she has already learned how to control all who surround her … "resistance is futile"
    (wait thats The Borg, not The Business!)

  3. Allyson & Jere says:

    Oh that is just WAYYYYY to cute. I mean, that's bad. Get that girl under control…STAT! She definitely has some spunk. And I love how completely different these two girls look.

    I'd make an offer, except Maggie has the corner on the SAS market around here. I don't think I need anymore "business."

  4. tooclosetogether says:

    HAHA! I love the business! I would have hard time not laughing and going "aww your so cute!!!"… However, that might elicit me some more business wouldn't it?

    Great post!

  5. The business is great. I get those looks from my little one sometimes but not on request like Lila can do. I can't imagine having two little ones running around giving the business.

    My daughter has the purple monkey jammies that Lila is wearing in the first picture. They are so cute.

  6. I would be too terrified to own something like that!

  7. Wow..that Business is scary..LOL. I don't know if I could own that. LOL gosh she is sooo cute.
    And this was a great way to use that prompt. :)

  8. myevil3yearold says:

    I like "the business." My Evil has got "lashes." She turns her head to the side and blinks her long lashes a bunch of times to get what she wants. It doesn't work on me but daddy and bubby will do whatever she wants if she gives them "lashes."

  9. Isn't that just the worst when something cute turns against you?

    I hate that.

  10. That is too funny! Love it. But yes, I, many times, have used cute things that B does and then like that…it comes back and bites me in the butt. It's mostly words. She says words so cute, but then she takes it out of hand…and then it's not funny anymore and pretty soon she's calling the children's church worker at church a "butthole" yes…it's my fault.

  11. Thanks, but I think I'm gonna pass on this one. Need a couch???

  12. I just went on trdc page and saw you'd linked up and raced over. I think we need to talk about how I can get The Business at my house. I cannot STAND the cuteness!! Maybe I can trade you "The Daddy Face" for The Business. I will have to post a picture of that for you. 😉

  13. Ha, you're selling The Business!! Love it!

    I think it's so adorable, but can totally see how it would get old when you get it during moments when you're really trying to parent. And be firm.

  14. Perhaps Ms. L can start her own business teaching The Business.

  15. Haha! That is pretty cute though! I could see how it would get a little old.

    Very funny post!

  16. Too funny! I may be too faint of heart for the video of The Business.

  17. I love the business!!!!!

  18. The Business cracks me up.

    We call my Small Boy's version The Face, but thankfully, he doesn't know it's hilarious to us.

    We'd be sunk, if that were the case…

  19. OMG—a timeshare! Love it!

  20. heidi @ wonder woman wannabe says:

    ha! now, that's talent!

  21. woman of hope and prayer says:

    I am a new follower. Please follow me back.

    http://womanofhopeandprayer.blogspot.com/

  22. This was great! Maybe she can market it. The Business, TM!

  23. The Twin Spin says:

    That's hilarious! You should do a follow up showing all the people who "bought" the business.

  24. The mad woman behind the blog says:

    Love the Business. Our Mad gives us the cold shoulder and plays hard to get. once we realized it was a game we were in love. Funny thing is it isn't a game we're allowed to play. OH NO.

    And please, please, don't teach Mad the Business.

  25. As Mom myself of 3 adorable monsters 5 and under, I can relate. I love Lila's Business! It's kind of like Blue Steel (from Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) the movie, Zoolander with a trace of evil. Nice!

    So funny. I love too how her sister can only do it with a smile. :-))

    Visiting from RDC & Gigi's tweet.

    Nice to meet you!

  26. @CaitsConcepts says:

    LOL! I have a 2.5 year old that gives some pretty serious business.. he suddenly developed an attitude overnight and now my sweet little boy is no more. *sniff*

  27. Home In The Hollow says:

    The business nothing…she looks like the evil child! I'll pass thanks!…LOL!!!!! …:)JP

  28. The Business is The Hysterical. She has a career ahead of her as a middle school principal or possibly a prison guard. Amongst many options. A bitch face can get you far in life.

    Pure awesome.

  29. Karen Peterson says:

    Oh my gosh. I have a friend with a daughter who gives the exact same look. Exact same. It's hilarious. They call her the Empress and that looks means The Empress is displeased.

    Too funny!

  30. But she's just so stinking cute!

    Going to see if I can tweet you my son's stink face. It's my screensaver on my phone. Between the two of them, they could probably get anything they wanted.

  31. Oh that is so funny! I love that you have a name for that look! I also love that her sister smiles when trying to give The Business! Thanks for the laugh!

  32. Lol. God I love her hair!!
    I could use the business in so many aspects of my life!!
    Great post!!

  33. You'd miss The Biz, if it were gone, you just know it!

    Cute.

  34. You'd totally miss The Business…. after you caught up on all of your cleaning, laundry, shopping, blogging, email responding, tweeting…. etc etc. :)

  35. Miranda & Derek says:

    That is too cute! I had to show my boyfriend and he thought it was so cute. My girls all have their own looks like are similar to the business.

  36. I want to buy the business…cracks me up. Does she know that she's practically a rock star?!

  37. Oh that is so funny and cute! I love the photos of the "business". I'm not sure I could handle it though. Thanks!

  38. Lila is fierce with The Business.
    Name your price, because I will TOTALLY take her. I'd like to take Mia too, please!

    So funny, Natalie. The Business is going to be fun to witness when she's a teen.

    Great job with the prompt!

  39. Sandi a::k::a KnitMyRhino says:

    where did you get the name "the business" for it? that is hilarious!

  40. Oh my gosh, I have heard this famous "Business" tweeted about but had not seen it until now. Hopefully she will use The Business on boys years from now to keep them away.

  41. The Flying Chalupa says:

    Man, my son gives me The Business each and every day and I am fed up with it. So no. I don't think we'll be buying. But now? I know your daughters' names! Beautiful!

  42. Once I find my sugar daddy, I'll be putting in an offer! I would give almost anything to see a video. I'm not sure if anything in blogland has made me laugh as continually as the business.

  43. Soge shirts says:

    Lmao she really does mean business. What a great facial expression.

  44. LOVE your blog! =]

  45. I think Lila is ready for next top model, and Mia? just a charmer.

  46. Leasing?
    I have some employees and obnoxious customers that need "The Business".
    If she could at least give me pointers…

  47. She's really got that look DOWN. I'm sorry…it's friggin' adorable.

  48. The Empress says:

    I soooooooooooooo love me some "the business."

    Makes my day when the biz shows up on twitter.

  49. Oh yeah! I'd buy that business. Babe used to give a similar one which has since been replaced with "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I don't wanna!"

  50. Ilana @mommyshorts says:

    Ummm… Can I inquire about buying "The Business" for real? I'd love to use it for one of my caption contests. I'll buy it for a link back if you're interested…

    No pressure. I know some people don't like their kids pics on anybody's sites but their own. That look is hilarious though!

  51. I will always love The Business. Sometimes, when I give my husband a certain look I think of it as The Business. I hope you don't mind that I've been using it without paying royalties…

  52. @Melanie

    Natalie, I am on Twitter. @melanieb120. I, too, am a huge Zoolander fan!

  53. Mothers' Hideaway says:

    OMG That is so so so cute!!! :love:

  54. Sluiter Nation says:

    DUDE! You KNOW the business is one of my most favoritest things EVER!

    the business! boom!

  55. Brandon Duncan says:

    Wow! The business is right! LOL!

  56. My oldest has a version of "The Business" and my youngest is developing her own version.

    Oh, woe to her future children and whenever they get into trouble.

Trackbacks

  1. […] She must be driven by The Business. […]

  2. […] Lila and Morgan from The Little Hen House’s daughter, Annie! Now we know that Lila gives The Business on a regular basis, but Annie is giving her a run for her money! Head over to MommyShorts to decide […]

  3. […] the train. Yes, Lila is giving the obligatory The Business. This was their favorite […]

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