Just One Night

I wish that I could sleep the whole night through for just one night.
That I could sleep without being awakened my kids.
Or the dog.
Or noises outside.
Or the need to pee.
Or tossing and turning.
Or waking up at 2 in the morning thinking about my To-Do List.

I wish that I could sleep the whole night through for just one night.
That I could sleep an uninterrupted sleep.
A quiet sleep.
A dreamless sleep.
A deep, delicious, peaceful slumber.
Wrapped in the warmth of my blankets.
Like a baby. In sweet little pink pjs.

Little Miss Lila, around 8 months old.

For just one night, I wish I could sleep the whole night through.
But I guess that’s never possible again, now that I’m a mom.

I wrote this after waking up at 1:12 am this morning, for no particular reason. Actually, this kind of wrote itself in my head as I was trying (unsuccessfully) to get back to sleep.

Are you listening? A short piece of fiction inspired by the word "listen".I wrote this for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop for Prompt #4: Write a blog post inspired by the word: pink.

You Know You’re a Mom When…You’d Consider Selling Your Kids To Gypsies

I used to have a weekly meme called You Know You’re a Mom When-sDaze. It was fun to do because you could share all of your good (or bad) You Know You’re a Mom When stories. I actually miss do it, and I’ve considered bringing it back. But that’s another story for another day.

What I wanted to share with you is this one: You Know You’re a Mom When…you would consider selling your kids to gypsies. Yep, I said it. And I think after you see this, you’d probably agree with me that it isn’t a bad choice.

Lila and Mia My lovely, beautiful four year old daughters are like pretty little tornadoes. Any room they enter, they leave a mess in their wake. I try to clean up one mess, and they are busy making another elsewhere. I’m about ready to sell them to gypsies, or ship myself off to the looney bin.

Here’s the (most current) reason why selling the kids to gypsies sounds like a good idea…

When we moved the girls into their bedroom, we had to repaint it because it was Ethan’s old bedroom and was painted for a little boy. So I let the girls pick the new paint color and their bedding.

Lila picked pretty little flowers and butterflies.

lila_bed

Mia picked flowers and ladybugs.

mia_bed

And they both helped pick out this picture and the pretty peach paint for the walls.

girls_room

And then the other day, while cleaning their room, I realized that my lovely little girls had started to unpaint the walls.

Lila was smart enough to try to hide her efforts. I think she started on this long before Mia started on her wall.

Lila was smart enough to try to hide her efforts. I think she started on this long before Mia started on her wall.

Not to be outdone by Lila, Mia started picking at the wall by her bed too. But she started her unpainting IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WALL.

Not to be outdone by Lila, Mia started picking at the wall by her bed too. But she started her unpainting IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WALL.

So you see, I think I have a valid reason for wanting to sell my kids to the gypsies. Now I get to repaint in there again. I’m ready to just let them tear it all up and then leave it that way until they are 18 and move out.

So tell me, what is your You Know You’re A Mom When moment of the week?

You Know You’re A Mom When…

If you haven’t been reading my blog very long, you might be unfamiliar with a meme I used to have called You  Know You’re A Mom When-sDaze.

It was always fun to write, and lots of people liked to participate…for a while. Then participation started dwindling and so I decided to shut it down. But every now and then, I think: Wow, that thought would have been perfect for You Know You’re a Mom When….

Yesterday, I had a few thoughts for things that would be perfect for it. And so I looked back and found that my last You Know You’re a Mom When  post was written back in November 2011! It’s one of my favorites, and even won an award from Fadra over at all.things.fadra! It was titled What I’ve Learned Since Becoming a Mom (The Things That Suck). It was fun to write and even more fun to re-read and then read the comments.

Anyways, I decided to go ahead and list some of my most recent you know you’re a mom when…moments. I bet you can relate to some of them, too!

You Know You’re A Mom When…

Finishing a cup of coffee without having to rewarm/refill/or top it off is considered a delicacy.

The 10 minutes it takes you (alone) to get home after dropping the kids off at school is considered “me” time. And you are totally satisfied with it.

You dread homework almost as much as when you were in school yourself.

You wonder how/why so many moms are so dressed up at school pick up and drop off.

As long as the kids eat something, you’re okay with not fixing a “real” dinner every night.

As fast as you clean up the house, the kids are right behind you destroying the clean.

And on that note, there’s really no such thing as a clean floor anymore.

You consider just buying new clothes for everybody instead of tackling the mountain of laundry that seems to grow overnight.

The dreaded Play Doh is considered an acceptable “activity” when it’s 110+ degrees outside.

You look forward to holidays just so you can experience them through your children.

How do you know you know you’re a mom? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section! And let me know if I gave life back to this fun meme if you’d be willing to participate on When-sDaze (AKA: Wednesdays)!

Wondering if I survived the girls leaving me to go to preschool? Head over to ChiquitaMoms.com to find out!

And just in case you missed it yesterday, do you know you can regrow veggies like green onions, celery and garlic? You can, and I will tell you how!

What I’ve Learned Since Becoming A Mom (The Things That Suck)

Do you remember my old meme You Know You’re A Mom When-sDaze?

I really miss it sometimes. And in light of no naps, this isn’t going to be a touchy, feel good post swooning about the wonders of motherhood…on the contrary…this is a post about all the things that I’ve realized since becoming a mom…and most of them suck.

Keep in mind my kids are 4 and 2, so things will/ might hopefully will change as they get older…but that I know in my brain that they probably won’t, which is one reason why being a mom sometimes sucks.

You Know You’re A Mom When…

You realize that cleaning is a futile effort and a total waste of time

It’s not worth having nice things anymore because they always end up broken or lost

You have to hide treats that you don’t want to share, and can only eat them when the kids aren’t around

You come to the realization that you rarely are able to pee, poop, or change a tampon without an audience, and if you’re lucky enough to get the door closed to do it, you’ll have to listen to them bang on the door for however long it takes

You understand that a little boy’s penis will automatically aim at the walls/floors/toilet lid/anywhere but the bowl of the toilet when they pee. And on that note, your bathrooms will never be more disgusting

You begin to believe you speak a language that your children do not understand

You scream at your children in a way that you’ve never screamed at any other person (including your husband and other adults)

Little people who don’t even know their ABCs know exactly how to push every single button you have

There is such a thing as a 24/7 job, and for 20/6 of it, it’s an entirely thankless one

You know that you can’t force kids to eat or sleep no matter how hard you try

You’ve decided you are okay with the fact that sometimes it’s okay to let them eat candy for breakfast, and that sometimes you just don’t care if they eat or not

Locking them in their room to nap seems like an entirely rational decision

It’s pretty much impossible to keep kids out of your stuff, no matter where you hide it

Vacuuming does drown out the sounds of screaming

It’s okay to skip out of the preschool when you drop your kid off for a few hours

You really start to believe that your kids are smarter than you, and that you really are not in charge 95% of the time

You say “flush the toilet” almost as much as you say “shut the door”

Toddlers prefer to party nekkid. In fact, they prefer to do everything nekkid

Never in a million years would you think that you would have to force kids to keep their clothes on, remind them to put underwear on, and/or demand that they must wear underwear or a diaper to dinner. People that don’t have kids could never understand how often we have these conversations

You know that toddlers have to take off all of their clothes to use the toilet

Frustration doesn’t even begin to describe how you feel most evenings whatever time the witching hour at your house starts (here, it’s about 5 pm)

Let’s hear your favorite You Know You’re A Mom When…!

Blogmas Worthy

If You Really Knew Me, You Would Know That…

…you would know that I love quotes and “-isms”. “-isms” are those things that people say that make them who they are. I wrote a post last year called “Dad-isms”, and it was a bunch of quotes that my dad is famous for saying. He’s a funny and VERY sarcastic guy.

I was recently going through some old posts after my move to Word Press, and ran across an oldie but goodie from my old You Know You’re a Mom When-sDaze posts.

Never heard of You Know You’re a Mom When-sDaze? It was a meme that I used to head up every Wednesday, and blogging moms from everywhere would link up with their funny stories and pictures about things that only other moms can understand. It was a lot of fun, and sometimes I miss doing it.

This was my favorite You Know You’re a Mom post. I crack up everytime I read it and watch the video.

So in honor of my old meme, and my love of quotes and -isms, here are a few things that I say on a regular basis that would probably sound extremely strange to anybody that isn’t a parent.

A Tribute To You Know You’re a Mom When-sDaze
Mommy-isms Said In Our House On A Regular Basis

You Know You’re a Mom When You Say….

Get off of your sister
Don’t wrestle with your sisters
Don’t squish your sisters
Your sister’s fingers/legs/arms don’t bend that way
Don’t pick your sister up by her head

Who pooped
Did you poop
Are you pooping
You pooped again
Who stinks
Are you stinky
You poop more than anbody I know
I just changed your diaper

If I have to tell you one more time
I’m not gonna tell you one more time
How many times do I have to tell you
One more time and I’m gonna…

Just eat one bite
If you aren’t hungry enough to eat your chicken and green beans, you aren’t hungry enough to eat a treat
I don’t care if your tummy hurts, eat it anyways
I thought your tummy hurt

Can you please be quiet for a few minutes
Please quit talking
Just be quiet
Take it down a notch

My pee pee is different than yours because I’m a girl
Yes, your pee pee will have hair like daddy’s when you get bigger
Lila/Mia! Don’t pull on your brother’s pee pee

We don’t say shit/dammit/f*ck…
No, mommy shouldn’t say that word either because that’s a bad word
Daddy can say that word because he’s big
No, asshole isn’t a nice word

Can I please pee without an audience
Can’t you give me a few minutes to go to the bathroom by myself
You want to see the poop before you flush it? You want me to flush it after you look at it?
You have to wipe your butt after you poop
DO NOT PEE IN THE BATHTUB
Lila, get your face out of your sister’s butt when I’m trying to change her

Mommy’s belly is big because I had a lot of babies in there
No, there’s not a baby in there anymore, but it’s still big
Mommy eats to much junk food and drinks too much wine. That’s why I have a big belly
No, you can’t have any wine, that’s mommy’s treat

What are some of your favorite mommy-isms?

This post was written for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, Prompt #3: If you really knew me, you would know that…