Welcome to another Mommy Moment! If you’re not sure what it is, head over and read all about how Mommy Moments at the Monster came to be.

Today, I’m so excited to welcome Debi from The TRUTH About Motherhood! Debi is nicknamed “Truthful Mommy” because, like me, she can’t lie (when we try, you TOTALLY know we’re lying!). She’s a mommy to two beautiful little girls, and recently started writing over at SmartMomStyle.com. I love her honesty, the fact she doesn’t shy away from any topics, and her sarcasm. She’s my kind of girl!

Go grab a cup of coffee and a donut, ahem, I mean a low-fat muffin, or depending on the time of the day maybe some wine and chocolate, and sit back and enjoy the story!

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Signed with Love and Chicken Scratch 

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Thanks for sharing, Debi! I am also sick and tired of being sick and tired, so I totally get where you were coming from. I don’t have a creative bone in my body, but tried to make some cute candies for Tater’s preschool class at Thanksgiving that I had to dump and go buy store bought stuff. So I feel your pain there, too.

There’s no manual out there for what we do, so sharing stories like this helps us all learn from each other.

Now head over to The TRUTH About Motherhood and say hello to Debi. If you are a Twitter addict, you can find @TruthfulMommy there too. And if you are a new follower, make sure to tell her that I sent you!

Looking for a good book to read? Check out my review of The Legacy of Eden by Nelle Davy for your chance to win a copy!

I’m so excited to announce that the new Chiquita Moms Community that I am writing at is now LIVE!! Head over to ChiquitaMoms.com and check it out!

I absolutely adore the Dancing Fern Dress. The colors and design make this the perfect dress for a school picture or a casual family gathering. Boys will love the Monkey King Tee inspired by the Ramayana Monkey Chant dance in Bali. Don’t worry moms! Tea Collection has even designed a Bali collection for women and I love the Artisan Ikat Tunic. It’s lightweight and goes perfect with a pair of jeans.

Be sure to check out the entire Bali Collection. Happy Shopping!

Welcome to another Mommy Moment! If you’re not sure what it is, head over and read all about how Mommy Moments at the Monster came to be.

Today, I’m so excited to welcome Desiree from Sarcastic, Funny and Brutally Honest! Desiree is mom to two with another on the way. She also lives in the same city I do, and we’ve met before and keep planning to get the kids together (we really have to do it soon, Desiree!)

Go grab a cup of coffee and a donut, ahem, I mean a low-fat muffin, or depending on the time of the day maybe some wine and chocolate, and sit back and enjoy the story!

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I’d like to start of my guest post: “Mommy Moment” by admitting to you all here at Mommy of a Monster and Twins that I had a very hard time choosing a “moment” to share. Well, to be more exact, I had a hard time weeding through the hours upon hours of my awesome parenting skills to find just a single “moment”. I’m not proud of the fact that I fail on an almost daily basis, I’m just comfortable enough to admit it to you all.

“The Incredible Green Hulk Mommy”

Photo Source: flickr.com

Disclaimer: It was a stressful week, my 18th month old finally decided to grow some molars and was cranky and needy as all hell, I had errands and appointments and writing due dates and play dates and activities up the ying yang and my husband was non-existent when I needed him the most-he had been working late every night that week. Oh and I had just hit the 24 week pregnancy mark. You know the mark: the one where you lose your marbles and teeter on the brink of insanity?

We were rushing to get out the door after a hectic morning of whining, complaining and arguing about toys and what to eat for breakfast and what to wear and what to watch on T.V. and yadda yadda. We were heading towards a local children’s museum to meet up with some friends. We were running late, nothing new for this family but this particular morning was different (see disclaimer). On this particular morning, while we were rushing to get out the door to meet our friends on time I snapped. But I didn’t just “snap”…I lost my sh*t. I became in an instant, The Incredible Green Hulk Mommy.

My 5 year old son started crying because he couldn’t put his shoes on, my 18th month old daughter was squirming and shrieking and not allowing me to get her dressed. The house was a mess, the messiest it had been in weeks, I wasn’t dressed and we were late. So I started screaming. I screamed at both kids, I screamed about how messy the house was. I yelled “clean up this sh*t” to my son.

I used the word “sh*t” in front of my kids.

I had never, in my life ever used profanity in front of my children before. Ever.

Like a crazy person, I started throwing all of the toys that were strewn across the house into one big heap in the middle of the family room.

My children stood there-still as hunted prey, eyes as large as saucers watching me. They watched me stomp and huff and puff and turn bright red. They watched me lose my cool. They watched me turn into the Incredible Green Hulk Mom.

I can only imagine how terrified they must have been. I’m usually pretty collected even when I am angry, even when I am disciplining I don’t curse, I don’t throw toys, I don’t stomp around like a mad man.

My mommy moment is probably not something you haven’t heard before and is probably something that many mothers have done. However, this was something new to me, cursing in front of my children and losing my cool was something I had never done. I am not proud of my “mommy moment” and to be quite honest, I am embarrassed to admit it. I can however, admit that I am more aware now of the extreme stress factors that can lead to extreme over exaggerated destructive behavior. I know now, that if I’m having a bad week and nothing is going well to take a moment to breathe and relax before attempting to accomplish anything. And for the love, I know now that if my son starts yelling the word “sh*t” at the dog, to blame it on my husband.

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Thanks for sharing, Desiree! Unfortunately I cuss in front of my kids more often than I’d like to admit. I am really impressed that you’ve only done it once!

There’s no manual out there for what we do, so sharing stories like this helps us all learn from each other.

Now head over to Sarcastic, Funny and Brutally Honest and say hello to Desiree If you are a Twitter addict, you can find @DesireeEaglin there too, and on facebook as well. And if you are a new follower, make sure to tell her that I sent you!

Love cute kids clothing, and boutique clothing for you, too? Then you MUST check out Tea’s semi-annual sale going on now!

Welcome to another Mommy Moment! If you’re not sure what it is, head over and read all about how Mommy Moments at the Monster came to be.

Today, I’m so excited to welcome Erin from My Little Miracles! Erin is mom to two little miracle boys – she’s a cancer survivor who was told she would never have her boys. She’s also a blogger, and one of the nicest ones I’ve had the pleasure to meet in person. Her motto is “Life Happens, so Live it, no regrets.”, and I love that so much I’d tattoo it on myself!

Go grab a cup of coffee and a donut, ahem, I mean a low-fat muffin, or depending on the time of the day maybe some wine and chocolate, and sit back and enjoy the story!

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Thanks for sharing, Erin! You know they say misery loves company? Well Ethan rarely sleeps all night (he is almost five) and the girls don’t sleep either. I get where you are coming from…and have done the same thing. “Mommy Guilt” doesn’t even begin to cover that feeling!

There’s no manual out there for what we do, so sharing stories like this helps us all learn from each other.

Now head over to My Little Miracles and say hello to Erin. If you are a Twitter addict, you can find @erinsmiracles  there too, and on facebook as well. And if you are a new follower, make sure to tell her that I sent you!

Love cute kids clothing, and boutique clothing for you, too? Then you MUST check out Tea’s semi-annual sale going on now!

Welcome to another Mommy Moment! If you’re not sure what it is, head over and read all about how Mommy Moments at the Monster came to be.

Today, I’m so excited to welcome Deb from San Diego Momma! Deb is mom to two little girls (she calls them Toots and Booger…I’m pretty sure those aren’t their real names!), she’s a blogger, a writer, and she’s funny. You’ll see when you read her Mommy Moment!

Go grab a cup of coffee and a donut, ahem, I mean a low-fat muffin, or depending on the time of the day maybe some wine and chocolate, and sit back and enjoy the story!

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The day started quietly enough, which is always a tip-off. With two kids around, silence in my house is something to be feared and loathed.

I’d spent the morning preparing eggs, bacon, pancakes and other breakfast foods designed to assuage my guilt at leaving my family so I could work on a Saturday. After eating, with bellies full and moods bright, my kids hunkered down to a little TV, while I heaved my laptop case over my shoulder, made to leave, and called out to my husband, “Don’t screw anything up!”

He likes when I elevate myself to a higher parenting standard.

I took one last look at Toots and Booger, ages four and six, snuggly on the couch, and thanked God we were all healthy, happy, and relatively unscathed by the vagaries of life.

Smugly, I left for work. Like I said, all was quiet.

And this is where God laughs.

I received the phone call about an hour later. So you know, at least I had sixty stress-free minutes. Sixty minutes of believing all was right in the world and that my kids wouldn’t be too emotionally scarred by my tendency to OCD vacuum every room in the house 86 times a day.

I answered the phone after my husband left two messages. Because here’s a tip: When your husband, the one who you told to “not screw things up” is home with the kids and calls twice, you pick up. So it was on the third attempt to reach me, that I figured it must be important.

“Hello?” I said, not a little irritably.

He spoke in a rush. “People! Sex! On TV! Neighbors! Babysitter!”

Couldn’t this wait?

“What?” I shouted. “The neighbors are having sex with the babysitter?”

I think this was the part where my husband wished he married someone from Mensa.

“No!” he blubberled. “Booger was watching a porno! In the house! On the TV! On the house TV! In this house! OUR house!”

Well this couldn’t be good.

But also…

“How did she get a porno on TV?” I understandably questioned. I knew he’d screw things up!

“I think she was trying to get Little Bear On Demand, and things went downhill from there!”

“Hee hee!” I chuckled. “Little Bare. Bare, B-A-R-E, get it?”

And that was probably the part when my husband wished he’d married someone with virtue.

Through more back and forth and yelling and inappropriate joking, it came to light that Booger, my innocent four-year-old, happened upon a lively episode of “Suburban Cougars” as she scrolled through the recorded Little Bear episodes on our television. Somehow, she managed to locate, select, and purchase the porno and proceeded to blithely watch as my husband washed the breakfast dishes in the next room. Even better, she’d chosen the “Play on all TVs” option, so the porno blared from every television that happened to be on in the house, which sadly, is usually every single one of them.

Oh and then! And then, the scheduled babysitter strolled up to our home, knocked on the door, and stood there until my husband finally heard the doorbell (read: washing dishes) and answered said door only to realize his little baby girl was watching eight naked people go at it in a car wash (those crazy suburbs!). Aptly, the babysitter left, never to return, because now we’re the weirdo swinger house on the block.

There’s more! It was a hot day and all the windows were open to let in air. Just the day before, new neighbors moved in next door and given the robust, um, rabble rousing on the TV, surely heard some untoward sounds emanating from our home.

This was decidedly not a quiet day.

After I heard all the horrible details, I hightailed it back home to vacuum my daughter’s brain 86 times and explain to the neighbors and babysitter that we weren’t a porno house. But first, I tried to talk to Booger, who surely was traumatized and destined to be a stripper or hooker due to early onset porn exposure.

“Booger?” I scanned her face for signs of distress.

“Hi mama,” she answered.

So far so good.

“How are you?”

“Fine, but I couldn’t find Little Bear on TV.”

“That’s OK. So…” I paused. I was real good at this damage control business.

“Can I go outside now?” She skipped up from her sitting position.

“Sure honey,” I watched her sweet little baby back as she left.

My husband followed my gaze and asked, “So right. We’re just going to ignore it and pretend it never happened?”

I nodded, “Good plan. And…”

His eyes told me he was preparing for a lecture. “Yes?”

I took a deep breath. “When I say ‘don’t screw things…’”

And that was probably the part when my husband wished he’d married someone who told less obvious jokes.

P.S. The above is all true, except for the part where we ignored it (forever). After much back and forth, my husband and I decided to broach the subject with Booger again, who appeared to be no worse for the wear. Of course, we won’t know for sure until she’s 16 and not a stripper.

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Thanks for sharing, Deb! I told you guys she’s funny! I can relate (Hey Mom, skip this paragraph)…my lovely children didn’t find it on TV, they found it in my dresser drawer. In the form of a toy. And that’s all I will say since I’m sure my mom is still reading.

There’s no manual out there for what we do, so sharing stories like this helps us all learn from each other.

Now head over to San Diego Momma and say hello to Deb. If you are a Twitter addict, you can find @sandiegomomma there too, and on facebook as well. And if you are a new follower, make sure to tell her that I sent you!

Love cute kids clothing, and boutique clothing for you, too? Then you MUST check out Tea’s semi-annual sale going on now!

Welcome to another Mommy Moment! If you’re not sure what it is, head over and read all about how Mommy Moments at the Monster came to be.

Today, I’m so excited to welcome Amanda from It’s Blogworthy! Amanda is mommy to a little baby boy,  and she is one of the the sweetest bloggers out there. She’s super funny and wicked smart…when it comes to social media she knows her stuff! If you don’t already know her, go check out her blog; I promise she’ll make you laugh!

Go grab a cup of coffee and a donut, ahem, I mean a low-fat muffin, or depending on the time of the day maybe some wine and chocolate, and sit back and enjoy the story!

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We can all agree that being a mom is hard work, whether you work from home, work outside the home or are a stay at home mom.

Holding a full time job with a young baby adds a new layer of guilt and anxiety to new motherhood. My first few months back to work, I was constantly worrying about him. Was he happy and healthy? Was his daycare provider taking good care of him? Did he miss me? What milestones am I missing out on while I’m away from him 40 hours a week?

We had a rough start with our daycare provider, a neighbor who had recently started an in-home daycare in part to take care of her granddaughter. She questioned everything we did, from our nap schedule to the amount of milk I was providing my son. Every day, my husband would pick him up and she’d tell him our son had a “rough day”. She looked like she just plain didn’t enjoy what she was doing.

And that’s where my son was three days a week.

My husband is a teacher and only taught three days, so luckily I knew the baby was in good hands at least a few days. When summer came, he left daycare until August, when my husband went back to work.

During the summer, we searched for a new daycare and found one we thought was perfect. We signed the papers, and then two weeks before it was time for him to star, the new sitter emailed me and said she was bumping him for a full time child. We were devastated because on paper she seemed perfect, but also panicked — how could we find someone great, affordable and who takes part-time children in two weeks?

We found a friend’s daughter to watch him for a few weeks to buy us some time. Meanwhile, I got the name of an in-home daycare from a friend. Mayra, the provider, came with excellent references, so we set up a time to meet.

Mayra’s home was clean and basic, filled with toys. We talked to her about schedules, routines, how she entertains her kids during the day, kids she has in her care. We felt comfortable with her instantly, but what sealed the deal was when she picked up Luke, held him in her arms, and talked about how fast children grow up, with tear in her eye.

He started the new daycare right after Labor Day. I was nervous, of course, but he eagerly checked out the room and other children and seemed ready to hop right out of my arms. Mayra kept him on a strict schedule, with two naps every day, playtime, quiet time and meals the same time each day. In her care, he seemed to blossom. He explored more, babbled more and was always well rested. He got on the best schedule EVER. Every day she told me what a great baby he is and how fantastic his day was.

I was so proud of him for adapting so well. It was his first little step into toddler-hood, becoming more independent and more like a little boy than a baby.

The holidays came and she started doing crafts with her kids. I got my first piece of artwork from my son.

It made my heart grow about 15 sizes.

One day I opened the door to drop him off and he practically jumped out of my arms into hers. She laughed, kissed him on the forehead and said, “I love you sweet boy!”

That’s like music to a working mama’s ears.

With all the things to worry about as a mother, the care of your child shouldn’t be one. I’m so thankful we found the right one — just when we needed her most.

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Thanks for sharing, Amanda! It’s so hard to be home with the kids all day, but I can’t imagine how hard it must be to find somebody that you trust, that truly cares for your child, to leave them with several days a week. My hat goes off to you working moms.

There’s no manual out there for what we do, so sharing stories like this helps us all learn from each other.

Now head over to It’s Blogworthy and say hello to Amanda. If you are a Twitter addict, you can find @amandaaustin there too, and on facebook as well. And if you are a new follower, make sure to tell her that I sent you!

Love cute kids clothing, and boutique clothing for you, too? Then you MUST check out Tea’s semi-annual sale going on now!