So this is bloggy burn out. The total and complete lack of desire to be within ten feet of a computer. To miss reading your favorite blogs simply because you dread getting on the computer for any length of time. To want to do anything other than sit down and type. You aren’t obsessively thinking about what you are going to write about. Blogging has become just one more thing that is always on your “To Do” list. It has become a chore.
On the other hand, your house is clean. Your children have been on a walk several times during the week. You’ve read an entire book. You’ve visited with friends and had play dates. You have been away from the computer for hours without once feeling guilty about not responding to comments. You aren’t stressed about posting everyday. You’ve enjoyed an evening of TV with your husband, and never once thought “I should really be on the computer”. You’ve caught up on your DVR’d shows. You remember what it was like to have free time.
How did it get to this point?
What did I do wrong? I love blogging! Why does it now feel like something that I don’t want to do and that I don’t look forward to doing?
What the hell happened????
The other day, one of my best blogging friends Kristin at Taming Insanity wrote about what blogging has given to her and why she treasures it. I completely related to her post 100%. I’ve met some amazing people, made some wonderful friends, and learned a lot. And I don’t want to give that up. Her post got me to thinking about why I blog; what I get out of it. Other than venting frustrations about the day-to-day challenges of motherhood, and recording my children’s childhoods, why do I bother?
The answer is simple. I love to write. I love the creative outlet that blogging has become for me. I love getting emails and comments that say “oh, I can relate” or “I feel the same way” or “you are not alone” or “thank you for writing that, it helped me so much”. I love the ideas I get from others, love sharing my experiences, love the beauty and power of words. I am attracted to it *pedantically*.
But a lot of the burn out has been brought on by the pressure I put on myself. The pressure to try to respond to every, single comment. The pressure to try to visit every commenter’s blog, as well as the blogs that I visit because I enjoy them. The pressure of obsessing over the numbers…the visits, returning visitors, page views…all the stuff that shouldn’t matter. And all of that is where the burn out came from.
The Mommyologist recently wrote a post titled Blogging Means Never Having To Say Your Sorry, and it got me good. She talks about the need to STOP apologizing for having a life outside of blogging. In it she says:
Powerful, huh? Why do I feel that I need to apologize for not posting everyday? For not responding to comments or visiting blogs daily? It takes hours of time to do that, and I have 3 kids three and under that need me and I want to give them my full attention! The bloggers that I love and visit regularly know and understand this. So if they don’t see me for a few days, they know that I’m still around (and reading their posts on my reader).
So, I know why I’m burnt out and I have decided to make some changes to my blogging. It won’t be every day; it may only be once or twice a week. I will visit other blogs when I have time, and I’ll respond to commenter’s that ask me a question (if they have an email address to reply to).
I want to love blogging again; I want it to be fun. I love the connections I’ve made and the wonderful writers that I’ve found. I won’t continue to blog/respond/comment out of the feeling of guilt or necessity. I’m not required to do any of this and so I have to do it on my terms, when I can, and how I want.
I love the blogging community, and appreciate every single person that stops by to visit…whether it’s only once or every time I post. I just hope I get out of this burnt out feeling soon because it sucks!
And so it goes…
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