Before I Was A Mom

Before I was a mom, my life was MUCH different. Hubby and I were married for almost six years, and did whatever we wanted whenever we wanted. We’d go away for the weekend after a last minute decision. We spent money on frivolous, unnecessary things. We both worked hard, and played hard. My sisters, who both had kids, used to ask me what I did with all my free time…and honestly? Now I couldn’t tell you.

Here are some facts about my life, before I was a mom:

I could sleep all night, without being woken up for any reason…and when I did wake up, I could just stay in bed to relax or read, or watch TV

My stuff was always where I put it wherever I left it

I got to go to the bathroom and take a shower alone, without an audience

My clothes were clean and not covered in food stains or spit up

I watched TV without pausing and rewinding every two minutes

When I sat down to eat, my meals weren’t half cold, and I could eat the whole thing without getting up

I could spend $150 on jeans or a purse, without batting an eye

I had regularly scheduled manicure/pedicure, waxing, and hair appointments

I went out until the wee hours of the morning without ever worrying about having to get up in just a couple more hours…

I had boobs, and I relatively nice tummy and thighs

If I cleaned the house, it stayed clean

I enjoyed long, leisurely, wine-filled dinners with hubby

I actually used to sit on the couch instead of sitting on the floor

I had “me” time, and a lot of it

And I spent a lot of time wishing that I had a baby

Here are some things I didn’t know I was missing, before I was a mom:

Hearing “I love you mom” one hundred, thousand times a day and never getting tired or hearing it or saying it back

Being the most important person in somebody’s life…and I mean being the person that would be picked over any other person in the entire world

Enjoying 100% free, unconditional love

Dancing, singing, and playing like I was a kid again

The happiness of another person being more important than my own

Reading the stories I loved as a child to my child

Snuggling for the sake of snuggling

Watching the concentration of a child…you know…tongue sticking out, eyes focused, and little hands trying so hard to do whatever they are trying to do

Feeling pride for somebody else; but also feeling their pain, fear, happiness, and laughter

Not minding staying home and hanging out instead of going out

Tickling even though I remember how much I hated it when I was little

That being a stay at home mom is the hardest, most unappreciated job in the entire world, yet the most rewarding

That I would actually get to watch my heart run around outside my body

And so it goes…

Mama's Losin' It
I wrote this post for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop in response to Prompt #2:
Before I Was A Mom.

Comments

  1. Alejandra says:
    So beautiful Natalie! It brought tears to my eyes! Very well said!
  2. ♥Cari♥ says:
    Love it!
  3. Fantastic post! Really ... love both your "before" and "after" lists. (Stopping by from Lady Bloggers! So glad I did!)
  4. Pumpkin and Piglet says:
    Great post! This is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. I've been having days when I miss the things I did before Piglet arrived but then I think about the things I've got now and the other things don't seem as important! (Sorry, that's a lot of 'things'!)

    PS There's something for you over at mine :)
  5. The Empress says:
    So true, the pay off is so worth whatever you're doing without...
  6. I remember those shopping days...spending money like it was growing on trees and getting my hair done religiously every 6 weeks. But you are right...being loved unconditionally and hearing it all day long is so much better!
  7. Oh yes, I forgot to mention about the house staying clean and my things always being where I put them and if they weren't, then I only had myself to blame! Great post!
  8. Funky Mama Bird says:
    This is all so, so true.
  9. Aging Mommy says:
    I don't really miss much from my old life, eating out with my husband and actually spending one on one time with him taking a vacation or even just a weekend away which we have not done in three years, hiking and just knowing that if I wanted to I could take off for some alone down time are really the only things. But I would not trade the life I have now for any of that and one day I know I will be do those things again and all the while be wishing I could be right back where I am now.
  10. Ma What's 4 dinner says:
    Well said and soooo true. Both parts. I think I miss the sleep the most. Never knew how important it was. But they do make it worth it don't they? I had 3, 3 and under, similar to you. Now my oldest is 5 and going to kindergarten in the fall. I know it's just the beginning but I feel like it's starting to go fast, really fast!

    Lots of yummy love,
    Alex aka Ma, What's For Dinner?
    www.MaWhats4Dinner.com
  11. blueviolet says:
    I can see that part two of your life has fulfilled you in a wonderful way! (although not getting up during a meal...I remember that and it was a beautiful thing)
  12. I concur with what has already been said- great post. I was thinking just the other day what I did before kids. It's hard to remember. But we were married for 7 years before kids came into the picture. And so true how being a SAHM is both the most unappreciated and most rewarding job in the world.
  13. The Sharp's says:
    So, so true! And I love this one "That I would actually get to watch my heart run around outside my body"
  14. MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) says:
    I just linked over to your blog from Multiples & More...I love it! And this is a great post.

    You sound a lot like me, B.C. (before children). My hubby and I were married for 10 years before our girls (now 17 months) were born. I worked very hard, and then did exactly what I wanted to do on the weekends. I would come into work on Mondays, and folks would ask what I did with my time off. I would often say, "Nothing," and mean it! My weekends consisted of naps, going shopping, getting my nails done, and eating out.

    I still get the occasional nap (although never a 2-hour slumber at leisure!), but I hardly have the time to shop for me anymore, and when I do, I feel guilty spending very much money. I get my nails done, but *maybe* once a month, instead of once a week, and our eating out has mostly been reduced to more kid-friendly restaurants. I do love some good Mexican food, but what I really crave is steak and sushi!

    ...but all those creature comforts don't compare, of course, to being at home with our girlies.

    I look forward to reading more!
  15. Kristin Glasbergen says:
    But the tickling brings such good laughing, it's hard not to do it.
  16. I was shocked how cool it is to be the VERY BEST PERSON EVER in someone's eyes. So, so cool.
  17. Heather Binkley says:
    Love the new layout!!! LOVE IT!!!

    Great post, too. One thing - enjoy the unconditional love while it lasts. In no time at all they start hating you almost as unconditionally as they love you, now. Well, they think they do anyway. Underneath it all they actually still love you - they just don't know it. ;)
  18. I'm not a parent yet and I so enjoyed this post! Thanks for sharing your thoughts :)
  19. excellent post. i can totally relate to the "eating dinner cold"... add to that the fact that they pick off your plate too
  20. Heather Binkley says:
    Oh! And I grabbed your button :)
  21. Maureen says:
    This is such an excellent post, Natalie! :D To hear "I love you Mommy" really is the best thing in life even after you got throw ups all over you lol
  22. Courtney says:
    I relate to every single thing you listed. It's easy to complain somedays but it's good to be reminded just how wonderful and what a blessing being a mom truly is.
  23. This is the real reason I rarely watch TV. Well, that and all my free time is on the computer.
  24. MommaKiss says:
    oh the before and after. so much is different! my favorite before is sleep. but I've seriously been brainwashed to forget a lot of it. the before. think i got breastmilk in my eye or something and can't remember a single second of it! :p
  25. Unconditional love is priceless. Great lists.
  26. Bethany @ Organic Enchilada says:
    Ah - I hate the little dude watching me in the shower. I feel like I can't watch my face cause I can't very well close my eyes while I'm being watched! So this has only happened twice. I'd rather wait for hubby to get home and shower in peace. :)

    Love that you put the list of things you GET to do now that you're a mom, too. Goes hand in hand, huh?
  27. Love it! Pros and cons, I love being a mom!
  28. I still sit on the couch - but only after unearthing it from under mounds of zhu zhu pets, books, bowls with the crumbs of goldfish, socks, homework, etc. And? It would be nice to poop in private once in a while!
  29. Wow, now I wish I wouldn't have put my mascara on. Time to re-apply! Totally made me cry girl! A few tears of sadness missing my "before" life (and boobs) and tears of happiness remembering how empty everything seemed before children. It is such a blessing isn't it? You are so awesome.
  30. Heather says:
    Love it! I still can't figure out what we did with all our time pre children.
  31. I can't relate to ever having anything resembling relatively nice body parts, but everything else? I hear ya sista!
  32. the sitting on the sofa vs. floor CRACKED ME UP!! SOOOO true!
  33. Cuz I'm the mama! says:
    It is so amazing to stop and think about life before the twins. We could do whatever we wanted, but at the time I didn't appreciate that at all. I was so carefree, but I thought I was "so busy" and "so stressed out" all of the time. I think what having kiddos has taught me is that if I don't enjoy "RIGHT NOW" it will pass me by and I will look back and be very sad I didn't savor the moment. I agree - this is so hard, but the rewards are making my life so full. Thanks for sharing Natalie. You hit the nail right on the head! :-)
  34. Oh man, the last line made my heart quiver. I could relate to it all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  35. Being a mom is the most wonderful gift. The floor gets comfortable eventually, and the house isn't dirty, it's lived in.
  36. yes, yes, and yes! You had me at staying in bed and relaxing! I love the second part---snuggling just because. I am hoping that my daughter never grows out of that stage :)
  37. MamaGord says:
    Great post! I never really had the before I was a mom because my husband and I started young but I am doing my best to enjoy being a mom now so later I can enjoy all the stuff you listed before plus grandbabies :-D
  38. The Paper Mama says:
    Very sweet! I love the before and after. I can't wait till Ruari can say I love you.
  39. AndreaLeigh says:
    lovely. my life is completely different, but it s wonderful in every single way.
  40. NanaDiana says:
    Natalie- You GET it girl! Hugs from a Nana~
  41. Ms. Understood says:
    "I would actually get to watch my heart run around outside my body" This is the essence of it all right here. You neeed to copyright this. I just can't wait. The perks of the job clearly outweigh the deficits.
  42. The Sweetest says:
    If I had to write these lists, they would be exactly the same as yours. Pre-parenthood life was awesome. Now, when a childless friend asks me what I've been up to, I just stare at her blankly. Is it not obvious? But, like you said, there are so many joys unknown until you have a child. Like the way my little boy smells when he wake sup in the morning. Or the way he squeezes my shoulders when I pick him up. The way he sings to himslef while playing in his room.
  43. Amazing... we have similar posts today! (but mine only has 4 comments... not 40! LOL)

    Lovely dear!
  44. anythingbutperfect says:
    yours reminded me of things I forgot to put in mine...like the cold dinners! ;) so true! well put!
  45. That being a stay at home mom is the hardest, most unappreciated job in the entire world, yet the most rewarding

    That I would actually get to watch my heart run around outside my body

    Loved these last two comments. They are so truel

    Stopping by from Mama Kat's
  46. Yes...it is so worth it!! I loved how you did the before and after comparison.

    "Being the most important person in somebody's life...and I mean being the person that would be picked over any other person in the entire world"

    Yep...it's pretty darn amazing!!
  47. Kristy Pool says:
    I love everything you said because that is how I feel too! Although, I can't remember what life was like before I was a mom...
  48. Karen Mortensen says:
    I love what you said. There is nothing like being a mom.
  49. Heligirl says:
    I didn't get a chance to so the Writer's Workshop this (probably a good reason for a Flippin Friday post, come to think of it) thanks to my crappy week. But reading yours made me think I actually had. I can easily list off the things I did before I was a mom, but this much I do know, I was a lot lonelier. Not that I knew it then, but I can't imagine not having the kids now. I'd be terribly lonely in my heart.