‘Anonymous’ Left Me My First Negative Comment

I received my first negative comment on a post! And it really bothered me, so I’d like to address it. Yesterday, I wrote about my son cussing, which is a direct reflection of my bad parenting…I get that…and that is the reason why I wrote the post in the first place. Anonymous reader left the following comment: “People who cuss like that don’t have the intelligence to use better vocabulary…. Please don’t pass that trait on to your children.”

So please let me say, I am not June Cleaver, nor have I ever proclaimed to be. Here, dear readers, are some things you should know about me if you are planning to continue to read my blog:

  • As stated yesterday, I have a mouth like a trucker (as do many of you from the comments I received), and I will occasionally throw a bad word out here or there throughout my posts. I write to you as though I’m speaking, and what you see (or read in this case) is always what you’ll get if we ever have a chance to meet in person
  • Believe it or not, I graduated from college – with honors! – and even know some pretty big words. I don’t claim to be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I’m not the dullest, either
  • I drink alcohol, sometimes in excess, and you may occasionally get to hear a funny – or maybe not so funny – story about that. Many members of my family drink as well, as do my friends. We are heathens
  • I try to keep the house clean, but it doesn’t always stay that way. More on that later
  • I eat too much junk food, and not enough healthy food. But I really am trying to change that
  • I am somewhat religious; I have faith and I pray every night, but don’t go to church every Sunday…it’s more like once or twice a year
  • I talk about ‘mommy’ stuff like poop, boogers, and spit up
  • I lose my temper with my toddler; yell, scream, and throw temper tantrums like he does, and probably just as often
  • I always write from my heart! I am writing for me and to leave a journal of our lives to my kids…I’m just letting you peek inside

I’m not proud of all of those things, but that is who I am. All that being said, let me address ‘Anonymous’. Anonymous, I accept that you were offended, but I won’t apologize. I accept that you don’t agree with my parenting. I moderate comments before I post them, and I still posted yours even though it wasn’t very nice. The whole purpose of the post was to acknowledge that the cussing is a problem we are having here that we need to work on. Hubby and I won’t stop cussing. Our families aren’t going to stop. TV is not going to stop airing bad words. I cannot keep my kids in a box for the rest of their lives. When I wrote that post, I was being real – real in my world, anyways. If you don’t agree with that, it’s okay with me, but if you are going to judge me and insult me (on my own personal blog!) please be courageous enough to do it using your name instead of hiding behind ‘Anonymous’. But no hard feelings, you are welcome back anytime. I just can’t guarantee that whatever you read will be squeaky clean and wrapped up in a pretty little box that doesn’t exist.

In unrelated news – Monday, I wrote about all the crap I didn’t do over the weekend. One of the things was cleaning the floor and how I talked myself out of doing it again on Monday. I ended up cleaning it Tuesday morning. Took me almost an hour. Not even an hour later, Tater (who has been running around naked the last couple of weeks because we are potty training) peed all over my floor! A couple of hours after that, the dogs came in with their wet paws. I knew I shouldn’t have bothered cleaning it!!

And so it goes…

Comments

  1. Funky Mama Bird says:
    This was a much better response than the one I would have left, which would have looked something like, "and people who leave anonymous comments don't have the balls to show their real names" Or, you know. Something.
  2. You don't need to explain yourself or your flaws. We all have them.

    You are a beautiful, smart wonderful mother. More than that, you are human!! I love the frankness in your blog the most and more often than not completely identify with your words.

    Please don't let one negative comment get you down. For the record, I swear too and sometimes I worry that LMW will eventually pick up some of my/our four letter expletives, but you know what, there just aren't always acceptable substitutes for "hell", "shit", "damn", or worse.

    By the way, why is "Anonymous", anonymous? Think about it? Too afraid to use his/her real name? :)

    Keep up the great work! xoxo
  3. I love Natalie!!
  4. AndrewTansley says:
    Natalie, I love reading your blog, I've told you that before. Keep it up and stay true to it. It's awesome!
    -Carrie
  5. YOU DON'T NEED TO APOLOGIZE! This is your blog, you can say whatever you want, screw anonymous! You go girl!
  6. i was surprised you posted the comment and know it would have bothered me, but some people are mean and judgmental no matter what. that is their problem. keep being yourself!
  7. Totally agree with another reader, you shouldn't feel obligated to explain yourself. And, NO ONE should be judging you! I know it's easier said than done but ignore that negative comment. Anonymous schnonymous...Our preacher once told a story about his daughter that said a cuss word at preschool. Doubt she heard that word being tossed around the house! Keep doing what you do, girlie!
  8. bbcd mama says:
    So, the "heathens" line cracked me up. As for the Anonymous poster...I don't get why people even bother? It's not like they HAVE to leave a response JUST BECAUSE they visited your site. I just don't get some people...
  9. Love it! I say the word heathen too! ha ha. And I have a neighbor that swears like a trucker. I think it's the funniest thing ever. She's this short little thing, and she's got 5 children like me, and it just is funny. Gosh, they are words too! Who made them bad? Ass is used in the Bible...who said it is bad?! Anyways, go for it. And I thought we were supposed to be able to be honest! It's like yesterday, I posted on the "what do your kids drink". Everyone on there said ohhh, water, milk and MAYBE watered down juice for a treat. I just said, guess I must be a bad mom, my kids have pop! Oh, and I posted something about having TGIF fridays and I might sit on my deck and have a beer, it's 5 o'clock somewhere...and I got an email!
  10. This is why I like you and your blog, because you are REAL. It bothers me that someone would take the time to post a negative comment. If you don't like it, DON"T READ IT! No one is perfect. We try really hard not to cuss around here and not that long ago I wrote a post on my daughter saying damn.
    BTW, your talking yourself out of cleaning the floor made me laugh so hard. Floors are hard to keep clean, especially when you have children. I can so totally relate on putting off mopping the floor.
    Keep up the good work!!
  11. Holly Renee says:
    Anonymous mean comments are not cool. I say fuck em!! I think that you should be proud of some of those things you listed, if not all. They are who you are. You can work towards making other choices, if you so wish, but you sound like an amazing person, so don't be ashamed. You are not perfect, and guess what? Neither am I. And neither is anonymous commenter. At least you are willing to admit it. At least you are real. I love your bas ass!! (Cussing added for effect, LOL).
  12. Love how you write from the heart and tell it like it is. :)
  13. People who feel the need to post negative comments are a joke! You are not asking anyone their opinion your just recording life as you see it and live it. Frankly I enjoy that you don't sugar coat your life....I find it borring reading the "perfect lives" that some bloggers portray. Keep it up so I can keep laughing! (I will also continue to not sugar coat my life on my blog too.) :)
  14. ~Melody @ 6 Feet Over~ says:
    In my experience, I've noticed that people usually end up eating their words. SOmewhere down the line, that person will do something they 'spoke against' or be humbled by someone they judged. And when that happens...maybe they will start signing their names instead of feeling the need to hide.

    chin up...you're genuine...and honest...and doing a good job.

    ~melody~
  15. I love your post and I love people like you. You are a tell it like it is woman, you go girl! I wish I were more like you, I keep things locked inside way too much.
    People who leave mean replies are people who need to get a life.
    Keep up the good work!
  16. THANK ALL OF YOU!! I'm so glad I wasn't just taking it too hard! Glad to know you all have my back.
  17. Deana Birks says:
    You know, I just have never understood people like that. They make me want to cuss. ;) Cussing is not an intelligence issue and people who don't cuss are not one bit smarter than people who do.
  18. My response would have been more along the lines of... "F&$% YOU!"

    And just for fun, useless facts courtesy of Wikipedia...

    "Tape-recorded conversations find that roughly 80–90 spoken words each day—0.5% to 0.7% of all words—are swear words with people varying from between 0% to 3.4%. In comparison first person plural pronouns (we, us, our) make up 1% of spoken words."

    Research looking at swearing in 1986, 1997, and 2006 in America found the same top ten words were used of a set of over 70 different swear words. The most used swear words were fuck, shit, hell, damn, goddamn, Jesus Christ, ass, oh my god, bitch, and sucks—these eight made up roughly 80% of all profanities. Two words, fuck and shit, accounted for one third to one half of them. The phrase "Oh my god" accounts for 24% of women's swearing.
  19. Allyson & Jere says:
    Ok, I am so DEFINITELY a follower now. You handled this so nicely. I would NOT have handled negative comments with so much diplomacy. I'm gonna just put a couple of links on here to my blog because my daughter has picked up on my bad mouth and used dammit relentlessly. I wrote about it, we laughed, life goes on. Why people have to get their panties in a twist is beyond me.
    I must say, all i've read so far, I truly enjoy how REAL you are. I think I love you simply for saying "teethhing kids suck." 'Cause let's face it, sick kids suck, whiny kids suck, sassr rude kids suck, it just is what it is. At least you're honest. hahahaha

    Anyway, if you so choose, feel free to check out these entries, as I share your potty mouthed toddler problem.

    http://jereandallyson.blogspot.com/2010/03/my-place-is-secured.html

    http://jereandallyson.blogspot.com/2010/02/whats-that-you-say.html

    http://jereandallyson.blogspot.com/2010/04/waving-white-flagi-surrender.html

    Hope those can give you a laugh.
  20. I like you even more now! I do just about all of those things. I guess perfect parents can leave anonymous comments. I am a follower (sorry..thought I already was)
  21. Anonymous says:
    OH Natalie.. Ok I'm not a regular blog reader but definately a supporter-I try to read every couple of weeks and catch up on what I've missed! I love your blog and it makes me feel sane knowing that I'm not only the Mom who occasionally wants to lock both her kids in the room while I just sit in the hallway and catch my breath.... The cussing---Ahhh.. We have the same problem we haven't gotten to the F-bomb yet but it soon will be here-I worry.. The S.H.I.T word comes out quite often these days and your right a direct reflection on the parent...but whatcha gonna do!I, myself have a cussing problem, as well.. The way I see it NO one see's, does and deals with what a mother does every single minute of the day and when your kid sneaks the lotion bottle in the corner where he cant be seen and decides to pour it out all over the floor and on himself just to be a turd if the F word makes it a little better by god I will say it.. Whatever keeps us sane! Look forward to reading more! Sheena St. Clair-Anderson
  22. Alex@LateEnough says:
    MY COVER IS BLOWN!

    Just kidding.

    You keep being yourself. Plus, getting a hateful comment just means you're popular, right?

    RIGHT!
  23. Well, you are not alone my friend. I have also had nasty anonymous comments. I don't mind the opinion, but at least don't hide behind "anonymous"... you handled it well and we love you for who you are.
  24. debpieper says:
    My one negative reply (which I nicely ignored, because I like to be the marter and when I fight, I fight with the silent game) continued to be posted 3 different times. It ate at me, since it came from someone I didn't know at all and was quite personal. Well, bite me. Dont read my blog if you dont like it, ya know.
    I like yours!! :)
  25. Its convenient that your critic chose to remain "anonymous." Speaking purely anecdotally, I can tell you from experience as a school psychologist, the occasional four letter word will not ruin your child. Neither will most of the human traits you have listed above. What I have noticed in my work..the worst parents are the ones who don't care enough to get involved in their children's lives, and who don't seem to express love to their children in any, way shape or form (not to mention parents who are abusive, addicted, etc., etc). Conversely, on the other extreme are the entitled parents who think the world owes them something. Entitled parents are often hostile when not given their way. They think the rules that apply to others, do not apply to them. Entitled parents breed entitled kids, and its not pretty. Also, parents who give their children everything (spoil them) and parents who do not set limits for their kids (bed times, homework times, give them responsibilities around the house), tend to have poorer outcomes. But even then, to call their kids "ruined" is a stretch. Those kiddos will just have a few more hurdles to overcome in adulthood...they'll have to learn about limits as adults, and we all know that as adults, changing bad habits can be tough. For me, its the kids who grow up without love (many of them in foster care) that I truly worry for. Your kids are blessed...You sound like a genuinely nice person and a genuinely loving mom. Screw Mr. or Mrs. Anonymous. They sound entitled. And we know how THOSE kids turn out...(well, at least from what I'VE seen anyway ; )
  26. Twinpossible says:
    I grew up in a home, where the words 'fart' and 'darn', and heaven forbid 'Oh my GOD', were curse words. If you slipped up, the bar of soap was shoved down our throats. I told my daughter and son this the other day which only prompted her to want to go and taste the soap, which she liked by the way, lol.

    Times are different. They hear these things at school and around them, even if not at home, so no one can protect them from curse words 100% of the time, plus who invented which words were considered to be curses, and which words were deemed ok to say?


    Now granted I'm not laughing when I hear a curse, which I'll admit is not often, (At home anyways, who knows outside of here), but I am sort of a hypocrite when I say 'No, no, those are adult words..ones we try not to use but it happens sometimes, don't say them,' but that is what I do say:)


    We aren't perfect people because we are parents, and what is perfect anyways? I grew up in a home without any cursing, and a ton of strict rules, and strict parents and ended up pregnant at 18, and my brother is to this day a hopeless alcoholic.

    My husband's family are as close as they come, always were. They cursed like sailors, at times still do, had fewer rules growing up, had more freedoms, and parents that were more loving then dictators, and the kids turned out terrific. No early pregnancies, no drugs, no drop outs....hmm. Makes you think, lol.

    No one should put any parent down for the way they choose to parent their child, and the way their particular household runs/works, unless there is some kind of physical or emotional abuse going on.

    As long as there is none of that, or anything drastic and sick that may be slipping my mind in this moment..what's the problem?

    I'm a Christian, I curse on occassion and enjoy an occassional glass of wine. Sue me, lol.

    xoxo Shelly

    http://www.twinpossible.com/blog
  27. Jen Has A Pen says:
    It's kind of funny that I stumbled upon this post this morning because just yesterday my mother e-mailed me and said that maybe I should use the "f" bomb on my blog. She didn't think it made me look "classy". I e-mailed back and told her that I write like I speak, and while she may have a point, I didn't intend to change that. She wrote back and said she was concerned about people not liking my blog or judging me personally. I thought about it for a while. I certainly didn't want to embarrass her, and like you, I have a fairly large vocabulary. Did I really NEED to use those words. And the truth is (after some soul searching) that I do. Those posts are my posts filled with my words and my feelings. I'm glad you didn't apologize for using them. :-)
  28. Jen Has A Pen says:
    New follower, btw. ;-)
  29. Veronica says:
    Well I think you handled anonymous pretty well, though you didn't have to. Your space, your opinion, your life! What's the point of having a blog if you don't express who you truly are, then it wouldn't be honest. I'd take honesty with a side of swearing over someone fake and judgmental any day ;)
  30. Hello! I'm Kate. says:
    So I know this was almost a year ago...BUT...I read an article about how you know you've become a "real blogger" and that's when you get your first negative comment.

    So...I'd take it as a compliment! Mr or Ms Anonymous helped you hit the big time!
  31. Wow, I never realized that you and I had so much in common. I also curse like a truck driver and I'm pretty much unfiltered when it comes to most things. My children are very well behaved, however, because I have a very strong personality and I am very much about "do as I say not as I do." I realize that doesn't always work but, hey, they are my kids... You are absolutely right, if this person was going to leave such a rude comment, they should have had the cojones to leave their real name. This was a great post and I agree with you wholeheartedly.

Trackbacks

  1. [...] ‘Anonymous’ Left Me My First Negative Comment Still one of my most viewed posts, even though most people don’t comment on it. The comment [...]