Mommy Moment – Katie Style

Welcome to another Mommy Moment! If you’re not sure what it is, head over and read all about how Mommy Moments at the Monster came to be. Today, I am excited to welcome Katie from Clomid & Cabernet!

Katie is a mom of two, a little boy and a little girl, and you can read all about her parenting adventures at Practical Parenting. She’s also a wife, a friend, and she teaches parenting classes. She’s busy! Clomid & Cabernet is her newly launched site that helps women deal with infertility struggles. It’s a pretty amazing site, and one I wished had been around when I was dealing with infertility.

So go grab a cup of coffee and a donut, ahem, I mean a low-fat muffin, or depending on the time of the day maybe some wine and chocolate, and sit back and enjoy the story!

———-

From the minute they came into this world, I’ve been on a mission to enjoy as many small moments as possible.

The cooing, the smiles, the laughter, the hugs, the big wet kisses…the list goes on.

Some days I document like crazy, silently reprimanding myself when I fail to capture the perfect hug, the perfect jump, or the perfect moment of quiet play.

Most days I leave the electronics behind, immersing myself in the play and art so that I don’t miss a beat. These days I take screen shots in my mind, because I don’t want my only memories to include me behind the camera.

I want to actually be in the memories, not on the outside looking in.

Always, I watch them sleep.

Maybe it was the infertility. Maybe it’s just in my DNA. Whatever it is, I struggle to let go.

By day I watch them grow in leaps in bounds. I cheer for every milestone, and encourage each new adventure, even if I cry a little bit on the inside.

I feel the baby days slipping away right before my very eyes. I am powerless to make it stop.

I listen carefully as my five year old creates complex and fascinating stories just because she can.

I watch in awe as my three year old learns to write his name, put on his own clothes, and create his own buildings. Help is no longer required.

I know, in my heart, that I am still needed. I am, without a doubt, the first person they want to see in the morning and the last person they want to see as they finally rest their eyes.

I will always be needed.

But I see the shift happening. I see the baby-ness starting to fade and the big kid-ish-ness taking over. I see complicated art projects, beautiful handwriting, and athletic skills beginning to emerge. I see individuals emerging and strong opinions being voiced.

It both fills and breaks my heart at the exact same time.

And so, I watch them sleep.

There, wrapped and snuggled and sighing in their sleep, they seem smaller somehow. Despite their length, they remain little, cozy, and hang on to just a little bit of that baby-ness.

There, I can breathe them in, stroke their beautiful hair, and shed just a few tears as I work my way out of the baby days and into the world of big kids.

Just as soon as I’m ready…

———-

I should have mentioned you would need tissues! Beautiful, isn’t it? And I agree that in their sleep they do seem smaller, and it is then that I greedily kiss them and hug them without them trying to push away.

There’s no manual out there for what we do, so sharing stories like this helps us all learn from each other.

Now head over to Clomid & Cabernet and say hello to Katie. If you are a Twitter addict, you can find her there, and on Facebook, and Pinterest, too! And if you are a new follower, make sure to tell her that I sent you!

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Comments

  1. Thanks for having me over today!

  2. We are all so vulnerable-looking when we sleep. Even when I look at my husband sleeping it’s like he is just a child again. I mean, you know what I mean… ;)

    These are precious moments to capture in our hearts because yes, the baby days are over here too. *sigh*
    Elaine recently posted..My Roots…My Profile

  3. Oh yes, hold on tight whenever you can!
    Galit Breen recently posted..The 17 Day Diet Cycle 3My Profile

  4. May those memories fill your heart as you watch them walk down the aisle for graduation and Gulp! The day your baby gets married. Now talk about needing a tissue. (LoL)
    Cindi recently posted..Most Beautiful WomanMy Profile

  5. What a gorgeous post! And it’s so true…there’s so much excitement for growing and learning and doing, but at least a tiny bit of mourning for those baby days that go by oh, so quickly. :)
    MandyE recently posted..Mama Loves: Trains!My Profile

  6. Oh yes definitely need Kleenex for that one! It is beautifully written and so true!

  7. I wish I could do that. I often think of all the memories that I’m missing, it is so hard for me to be present sometimes. In all aspects of my life, but for my kids that’s the part I regret the most. I am always a 100 miles ahead thinking of the next task that needs to be done, planning, scheduling, thinking. Just this weekend I was holding my 19 month old when she couldn’t sleep and I was trying so desperately to picture her as a tiny newborn, to remember how she looked, felt and smelled. Even harder trying to recall my now 5 year old in that space. It was impossible for me to do. You’ve reminded me to try harder!

  8. So beautiful. I recognize those moments, when you really see your children and realize that the baby-ness is fading. Such a lovely post.
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  9. As I can see my children are already growing, I became happy and at the same time emotional.. Makes me think what I have done for them to have good life..
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