I am SO excited to have one of the funniest bloggers out there here today to share a Monster Mommy Moment with us…Kelley from Kelley ‘s Break Room!
Kelley is a mom to two boys, and like I said, she is FUNNY. She’s also witty and her perspective on things really can make you think. Everytime I visit her blog, I immediately am happy, even if I’m having a crappy day. She just has a way about her that immediately makes you feel good. I hope to meet her IRL someday so I can give her a hug.
Kelley is also writing for Nickelodeon! Her first post went up today and it’s titled Boozy Baby Names…need I say more?
The great part about this post? It’s so not Kelley’s usual style – it’s not humorous or trying to make light of a situation. It’s 100% relatable and everyday mom stuff that hurts our hearts when it happens. I’m honored that she trusts me enough to share it here. Please help me welcome Kelley so she can share her Monster Mommy Moment with us.
If you’re not sure what a Monster Mommy Moment is, you can read all about how my weekly feature came to be here.
Go grab a cup of coffee and a donut, ahem, I mean a low-fat muffin, or depending on the time of the day maybe some wine and chocolate, and sit back and enjoy the story!
Like participate in baseball practice.
Wednesday evenings at 5:30 my oldest son has baseball practice in an area that is about 25 minutes from our house. There were closer places to play baseball, but all of them were offering T-ball for my 6-year-old. We didn’t want to mess with T-ball AGAIN, so we decided to make the drive. This drive ALWAYS puts my older son to sleep- a deep, snoring, drooling slumber. He usually wakes up from it cranky but is typically able to make the transition to baseball mode without too much drama.
That was not the case THIS Wednesday evening.
The look he gave me when I woke him up suggested he wished I would just jump in a live volcano already. My husband usually has the job of whisking him to the baseball field while my 3-year-old and I take our time getting there. I was on my own this particular night when my son cried, wailed, complained and yelled out, “I DON’T WANT TO GO TO BASEBALL PRACTICE!! I HATE BASEBALL PRACTICE!!”
Thankfully we were still a good ways from the field, so no team members or coaches were able to hear his blasphemous words.
“Yes, you ARE going to baseball practice. I did NOT drive all this way for you to cry and complain! You LIKE baseball! You always want to play baseball! I don’t know what you are talking about. You need to start taking a nap after school if you are THIS tired or start going to sleep at 7:00. This is ridiculous! GET OUT OF THE CAR!!”
“I AM NOT GETTING OUT OF THE CAR. Leave me here!”
Smoke was coming out of my ears. For real. In an effort to control my temper, I took my folding chair, drinks and 3-year-old and started walking to the baseball field, as I know this usually results in my son getting out of the car on his own. As expected, he gets out of the car when I am about halfway to the field and sloooooooooowly walks behind me. I situate my youngest in the folding chair next to a friend and start walking back toward my oldest. By this time, everyone has made it to the field and has started practicing.
“What is your problem?! WALK FASTER! Can’t you see everyone is on the field practicing already? Hurry UP!”
“BUT I DON’T WANT TO PRACTICE!!”
His coaches, teammates and THE OTHER MOTHERS are now hearing this exchange and my face is getting hotter and hotter and hotter.
Through clinched teeth and a barely audible voice I say into his ear, “Get out on that field and participate in practice or you will be GROUNDED for the next three days. I will take away your DS and you won’t be able to watch any Phineas and Ferb. You are embarrassing BOTH of us. Get out there!”
He slowly trudges to the field and situates himself in an area that is not an actual position. With his glove at his feet.
I sit down, put my 3-year-old in my lap and watch him through slinted eyes. This is when my youngest begins his drama surrounding wanting to go to the “pahk”. The two of us usually go to the nearby park while my husband is involved with my oldest’s baseball practice. Since I was on my own, I had to repeatedly tell my little one that we would go to the park after practice.
“But I want to go to the paaahhhhhhhhhk nay-yow!! I want to go to pahhhhhk, Mommyyyyyyyyyy!”
“We are not going to the park right now. Stop it! Here, chew on this gum.”
That buys me some time with him. At this point, my blood pressure is way up as I shift my eyes over to my oldest to see his glove still at his feet and his arms folded across his chest. I am hoping he feels the heat of my stare and picks up that dangblasted glove very, very, very soon.
The 3-year-old gets plopped back into the seat and sounds of “pahk, pahk, pahk” echo in my ear as I walk toward my oldest. I make my way over to the little fartknocker and hiss into his ear, “Pick. Up. That. Glove.”
After I get back to my station and remind my 3-year-old AGAIN that the “pahk” visit will happen later (“Or maybe not at all, if you keep that up!”), my 6-year-old decides to make a half-hearted attempt at playing baseball. I am humiliated, as I see that the coaches are wondering what the deal is with my son and his listless moves when fielding the ball.
The other mothers are still staring.
Fast forward to 1:40 p.m. the next day at my house when I receive this phone call from my son’s school, “Kelley, can you come pick up your son? He has a 101.8 fever and just vomited in the bathroom.”
He was getting sick.
My son was sick.
He was sick on the baseball field the night before and I didn’t know it.
He was feeling awful inside and I FORCED him to practice.
I am a monster.
He didn’t have a fever at the time, hadn’t vomited and hadn’t told me that he didn’t feel well. Or did he? Did he try communicate this to me in some way but I wasn’t receiving the message because I wanted him to get his little butt on the stinkin’ baseball field already?? I wanted him to stop humiliating ME, so I threatened, hissed and barked at him until he submitted to my demands.
My poor, sick son. He deserves better.
He was so sick he missed his last day of school.
I am a monster and that is my Mommy Monster Moment.
Thanks Kelley, for sharing your Monster Mommy Moment with us…and for reminding us all that we are allowed occasional monster moments – even if we feel like hell after having them.
It’s so important for us all to share them with each other and learn and grow from other’s experiences. We’re all normal and experiencing the same things – so thank you for sharing this moment with us.
Now go swing by Kelley’s Break Room and say hello to Kelley, and if you’re new there make sure to tell her that I sent you. I know you’ll really enjoy her blog!
Also…I am giving away a $20 Chili’s gift card, so hop over and check it out for your chance to win appetizers and maybe even a couple of drinks on me. You can get appetizers and drinks for 20 bucks, right?
Last but not least, I had the opportunity to guest post over at one of my favorite non-profits, Paper to Pearls. Ugandan women make beautiful jewelry out of paper…you won’t believe it unless you check it out! Anways, I wrote about eco-fashion over there, so if you have some time stop by and read it!
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