Archives for February 2011

Monster Mommy Moment – Katie Style

 MommyofaMonster
Today, I am so excited to have one of my blogging friends (and one of my BlogHer roommates in August!) here: Katie from Sluiter Nation, who is sharing a Monster Mommy Moment with us!
No idea what a Monster Mommy Moment is? You can read all about how my new weekly feature came to be here.
Katie is somebody I would be friends with in real life – she is “real”. She’s smart, articulate, funny as all get out, and she can write – which may be just a few of the many reasons that I like her so much. She was also one of my first blogging friends. And I really, REALLY cannot wait to meet her at BlogHer in August!

So grab a cup of coffee and a donut, ahem, I mean a low-fat muffin, or depending on the time of the day maybe some wine and chocolate, and sit back and enjoy Katie’s Monster Mommy Moment!

———-

I can’t pinpoint my worst mommy moment. I have been wracking my brain to choose one, but I realize that my moments? Happen in my head. And I wonder if that is worse.

I haven’t left my toddler outside or dropped him under an airplane seat, but I have been a monster in a less than public way.

You see, I have that ultimate mommy monster: postpartum depression.

Eddie was a colicky baby. Colic is a nice way of saying my baby was possessed by evil for three months of his life.

Three hours a day of non-stop screaming plus the regular crying during the rest of the day is enough to put almost anyone over the edge—just ask my husband.

But being alone with a screaming baby after the hubs had to go back to work? And throw in a healthy dose of postpartum depression and anxiety?

You get yourself one drooling, snorting mommy monster.

My hubs very first day back to work, he got up and fed and changed out little month old son. He gently brought him to bed with me. We slept there for a total of one more hour.

By 8:00am he was crying.

Nothing would sooth him.

I rocked, I bounced, I tried diaper changes, I tried feeding.

Nothing but screams.

I called the nurse.

I called my husband.

No one could do anything for me.

I was bawling. My son was screaming.

I finally put him in his crib and sat on the back deck and bawled.

This is not a unique story; I know that.

But even after my ppd was diagnosed and Eddie wasn’t colicky anymore, his crying still triggered things in my brain.

His crying means I am going to shut down.

This semester my husband is gone three nights a week taking classes. That means I am alone with Eddie.

This terrified me.

With the hubs around, I always had backup. If bedtime doesn’t go well, he swoops in and takes care of it while I breathe.

That is not an option now.

And not long after his night classes started, we had a bad bedtime.

I put Eddie in his crib and he started to cry. He did not want it to be bedtime yet.

So I tried to rock him. He threw his pipey and his lamby to the floor.

He did not want to be rocked.

He squirmed and wiggled. He wanted to get down and play.

I tried to calmly tell him it was bedtime and we weren’t going to play anymore.

He started hitting.

So I plunked him back in his crib and left his room.

I could feel that old feeling creeping up inside my chest. The feeling of wanting to make him feel better and throw him out a window at the same time.

Tears started rolling down my face. I could not do this. I needed my husband. I am unable to do this when I am alone. I need backup.

I was a mess. And my son was screaming so hard he sounded like he could throw up.

But I couldn’t go in there. I couldn’t deal with it.

So I didn’t. I let him continue until he is gasping.

Finally, I wiped my tears and went into the nursery. He was reaching desperately for me while trying to catch his breath. His whole body shook as he struggled against crying.

We rocked and rocked.

He did NOT want to go to bed, but I didn’t give in this time. I couldn’t give in. There was no back up. So I just held him tighter.

Soon the crying stopped, but his breath was still catching.

We kept rocking.

Soon he was completely asleep.

I lowered him into his crib apologizing profusely for my huge mom fail. Telling I love him so very much.

I worry about those moments. When I can’t go to him because my brain won’t let me.

What am I doing to him? Am I telling him he can’t trust me?

———-

And now you see why I love me some Katie. Honest, open, and relatable.

Thank you my friend, for reminding us that we are all sharing the same experiences and that we’re all in this together and that we can learn from each other’s mistakes experiences.

Now go swing by Sluiter Nation and say hello to Katie, and if you’re new there make sure to tell her that I sent you. I know you’ll really enjoy her blog!

And so it goes…

Monster Likes #8

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Every Saturday, it’s Monster Likes time! I list my favorite selection of posts I found throughout bloggy land over the past week.

If one of your posts is listed below and you want the badge, just shoot me an email or leave me a comment and I’ll send you the badge to put on your post!

And now on to the good stuff….

Tonya from Letters for Lucas wrote a touching post about the fun that comes with motherhood…something I overlook all too often because I spend so much time complaining about it!

Katie over at Sluiter Nation wrote a memoir post about dinnertime with her family when she was growing up. It brought back so many memories of our family dinnertime when I was a kid! It’s a must read.

Lori at In Pursuit of Martha Points hates exercise. So do I. If you do too, you need to read this post!

The Empress at Good Day Regular People talks about pre-mourning – and you will know exactly what it is once you start reading it. And that quote at the end? I put it on my fridge to remind myself to enjoy the craziness.

Mommy Shorts wrote a funny post about all the things we have to give up when we become a mom. Check it out -you’ll nod in agreement all the way through it!

Sherri from Old Tweener guest posted over at In Pursuit of Martha Points and it is hilarious! It’s all about parents and talking to their teens (complete with stick figures, which Sherri tweeted are much harder to do than you’d think!)

This beautiful post made me swoon – Erin at Erin L Margolin wrote a post called Bourbon Street Barefoot and you must read it.

The Flying Chalupa has a permanent spot on my Monster Likes posts. I love everything she writes, and I swear that every time I read a post I think “This is my new favorite Chalupa post”. So if you don’t know The Flying Chalupa, go now! You won’t be disappointed.

Melanie over at Bronx to Boulder had my favorite comment of the week! It was on my post For Sale: The Business:

“As Mom myself of 3 adorable monsters 5 and under, I can relate. I love Lila’s Business! It’s kind of like Blue Steel (from Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) the movie, Zoolander with a trace of evil. Nice!
So funny. I love too how her sister can only do it with a smile. :-))”

Also, a HUGE thank you to Julie at 3 Moms in 1 (a balancing act) for the Versatile Blogger award!

And a big fat thank you to Janelle over at Pink Hippo Boutique for bestowing the Stylish Blogger award on me! And while you’re there, make sure to check out her boutique – she’s got some really cute party decorations!

Muchas gracias to Melanie at The McMommy Diaries for the Stylish Blogger award – I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it!

And so it goes…

For Sale: The Business

For Sale: The Business

See this little face? That’s The Business. What started out as a fun way to entertain family and friends, has turned into our daughter using it to spread fear and intimidation. She is the master of The Business, and she’s not afraid to use it. She really means business.

“Lila! Give Daddy The Business!” She stops whatever she is doing – laughing, eating, crying – and turns and gives us the look.

“Natalie! Make Lila do The Business”…it was like a parlor trick and people loved to see it, and I loved to show it to them.

Until she realized the power of The Business. Now, I will say to her “Lila, quit hitting your sister”, and in response I will get The Business.

“Lila, you do not smear your food all over the table and throw it on the floor.” Again, I get The Business.

“Lila, do you want a time out?”, and I get a very stern “NO” and The Business.

She’s even taught her sister how to use The Business. Though not nearly as savvy with The Business as Lila, Mia really tries…unfortunately for her, when she gives The Business she also smiles.

The Business is a dangerous tool, and should not be used by amateurs. It’s also not for the faint of heart.

Serious buyers only. Please submit your best offer. Interested parties may request a video recording of The Business to see if they can handle it.

I’m also open to leasing/timesharing opportunities. Please inquire if interested.

I wrote this prompt for the Red Writing Hood. The prompt: Write a piece – 600 word limit – Imagine you’ve just had a fight with a friend, a co-worker, husband, significant other, child – you get the picture. You’re mad. It’s time for revenge. What would you sell? Write a humorous listing for eBay or Craig’s List. Talk about the history of the items, why they must go.

The Usual Suspects

The Crime Scene:

It’s not blood on the floor! I’ll explain in just a minute…
I’m pretty sure their conversation went something like this:

Ms. L: Psst! Mia!
Ms. M, minding her own business and trying to eat a toy: Hmmm?
Ms. L: Mom’s not paying attention and the door to her bedroom is open! You know what that means, right?
Ms. M: No?
Ms. L: We can get into stuff! Whatever we want! That cabinet that she always tells us “NO! NO!” when we try to open it? We can get in there and eat those white things she sticks in our ears and rip open those little packages Tater always wants mom to put on his toes! Hurry up…
More Crime Scene Photos:
That’s betadine, people…in the grout. Betadine isn’t easy to clean up, I’m speaking from experience.
Yep. All 500+ Q-Tips and probably 100+ Band Aids. And more betadine. On the rugs too. All sorts of awesome.
Cleaning Up The Crime Scene:
It only took a half an hour, 2 pissed off parents, and a lot of 409 to clean up their mess.
The Usual Suspects:
Note the “child proof” latch flipped up on the cabinet door and the devious look on Ms. L’s face (left).
Ms.M still looks like “Huh?”.

No, this is not the first time that they’ve made a huge mess when mom was blogging busy working. Want to see their last mess? It involved a can of Comet and another one of those damned “child proof” latches. Or the time I fed them spaghettimaybe?

I really need to start paying more attention.
If you think this is bad, go check out what Tonya’s son Lucas left her over at Letters for Lucas!
And so it goes…

Mama's Losin' It
I wrote this post for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop in response to Prompt #2: What did they get into now? Describe a time your toddler got into something that they shouldn’t have.

Blogmas Worthy

Chicken Da-BOMB: A Chicken Divan Recipe, Only Better!

Ma, whats for dinner? The question every mom hates to hear. And then think about. Because if you don’t know, chances are you’ll end up making something quick and dirty (read: not healthy). I have two words for you: Chicken Divan. And I’m sharing my Chicken Divan recipe with you. You can thank me later. I know what you’re thinking…it’s old school. Boring. Something you’re mom used to make and force you to eat. But not this one! My family refers to it as “Chicken Da- Bomb”. The best part of this chicken divan recipe is that you’ll probably have everything on hand, and if you don’t you can buy everything ready made at the store.

A simple chicken divan recipe, only better! Also includes links to many other fast and easy chicken recipes.

Chicken Da-BOMB (AKA Chicken Divan Recipe)

Chicken Da Bomb: A Chicken Divan Recipe, Only Better!
Author: Natalie – MommyofaMonster.com
Ingredients
  • 2 cups frozen chopped broccoli
  • 3 cups cubed cooked chicken (need a last minute dinner? Pick up a rotisserie chicken and shred it!)
  • 1 -2 cups cooked rice
  • 1 cans (10-3/4 ounces) condensed cream of chicken soup, undiluted
  • 1 cans (10-3/4 ounces) condensed cream of mushroom soup, undiluted
  • 1 cup mayonnaise
  • 1 teaspoon lemon juice
  • 1 cup – approximately 4 ounces (or more!) shredded sharp cheddar cheese
  • 3/4 cup panko bread crumbs
  • 3 tablespoons butter, melted
Instructions
  1. Place the frozen broccoli in a 13-in. x 9-in. baking dish. Top with chicken.
  2. In a separate bowl, combine the rice, soups, mayonnaise and lemon juice, then spread over chicken. Sprinkle with cheese.
  3. Combine bread crumbs and butter; sprinkle over top.
  4. Bake, uncovered, at 325° for 30 minutes or until bubbly and golden brown. Let stand for 10 minutes before serving.

Seriously awesome dinner. Not super healthy or low in calories, but then not everything has to be all the time!

Looking for more dinner recipes with chicken? How about Grilled Mozarella Stuffed Chicken? Or a Chicken and Rice Bake. Or maybe Cilantro Lime Chicken. Or any of these recipes on my Chicken Recipes page.  Still want more? Check out my Chicken Pinterest board.